I Hate Cardio

Genetics, environment and pride

2012-03-10T13:32:00.002-08:00

So in case you don't know, my buddy Bruce has seriously messed up his shoulder.

This is the same guy that push-presses 210. The same guy that told me we should use 135 for a WOD that required us to use 10 percent less weight.

Now he can't even do push-ups.

The thing is, Bruce told me he was having some pain in his shoulder but chose to power through. I've done the same and so has everyone else that's ever been in the gym.

But at RFM we've got our own resident physical therapist, our head coach and fellow c/o 90 classmate Beelzebump Kikuchi. He can diagnose you right there in the gym and if you have Kaiser you can follow up with an actual appointment.

The thing is, you have to actually tell him that there's something wrong. He can't read minds.

Like I said, we're all guilty of this. We are there at the gym and feel something in our knee or back or shoulder and we just tell ourselves, "Ah, I'll just do the workout and it'll be okay."

Except when it's not. So don't keep quiet if something isn't quite right. Speak up and say something and go get something done about it before your body does something you don't want it to do.

Like mess up your shoulder. Or in my case tear your pectoral.

Anyway, thanks for letting me preach today. Now let's talk workout.

On Wednesday we did weighted dips for strength. Marcus was there and of course he wants to get stupid and throw on as much weight as possible. Bruce may be taking it easy but Marcus is still going at full tilt. Yay.

In fact, that's how Marcus convinced me that I should do 143 pounds for the weighted dips along with him. He said, "Bruce would do it" like he died in some weightlifting accident. Thing is it worked because I'm stupid like that. "Yeah, okay. Let's do it for Bruce."

It was frickin heavy. The damn dip bar was shaking it was so heavy. My triceps still hurt. Thank you Marcus.

Then there was the WOD, one of those 20 seconds of work and 10 seconds of rest things. But for six rounds. Push-ups, mountain climbers and air squats.

Six rounds is a long time to do all the crap. I think I got to 270 or 280 reps. Would have been nice to break 300 but no dice.

Then there was the cash out, grab a plate and walk 200 yards, to the fence and back.

I grabbed the 45 pound bumper but didn't feel good about it. Not because it was heavy but because I saw little Shauna grab it too during the 4 p.m. class. She's nuts. I'm going to have to start writing about her in my blog too because she's just as intense as Kehau and DMeyer and the other nuts in the gym. I saw her doing mountain climbers and her legs were moving FAST. Then she grabs the 45 pound plate for the cashout? She's gotta weigh about 109 or something but she did it. Un-fricken-real.

Then again she tells me she also does the Insanity workouts too. When? Does she do Crossfit then go home and pop in the Insanity DVD? I hate that guy Shawn T by the way. I think he's a cyborg. Nobody can move like that for an hour and be human. Bastard.

Anyway, so I grab the 45 pound plate knowing full well that a girl about 100 pounds less than me did the same weight an hour later and start the walk. Between the dips and the push-ups my arms were toast. Specifically the triceps. They were burning. I had to rest the plate on my head a few times.

Woof. So that was Thursday. Then on Friday we had the Crossfit Game workout that consisted of 15 box jumps, 12 push-presses of 115 pounds and 9 toes to bar. As many rounds as possible in 18 minutes.

Dude. I'm not going to lie. By the time I finished 3 rounds I looked over at the clock and it said I had 12 minutes left and I wondered if I could milk the time and spend 12 minutes doing only one more round.

Anyway, that's what I thought. But I kept jumping and push pressing. The toes to bar I ended up having to break up into three sets of three.

I ended up getting 5 rounds and three reps. Kehau got 8 and she said she was "disappointed" with herself.

Yeah, seriously. That's the thing about RFM, I don't mind so much the guys lifting more than me and getting more rounds. It's the women that kill me every damn day.

And before I just used to worry about Kehau and Lori. Now I gotta add Shauna to my "watch out" list too.

It's a good thing though, because I need all the motivation I can get.

Alright people, time to enjoy the sun because this is the first time I've seen clear skies in about a week. Aloha.

Rod

Adios DMeyer

2012-03-07T00:07:00.002-08:00

You know when I joined RFM there was this guy Derek Meyers, and he looked like this:

But then that guy went on Paleo and frickin ran and worked out like a madman and guess what, he's skinnier than me now. He's even skinnier than that pic below which was taken last July in the Whole Foods parking lot. (Yes we tailgated in the Whole Foods parking lot at Maui Mall after the WOD. It was awesome.)

Anyway, DMeyer. Good guy, great friend, dedicated athlete and inspiration for anyone out there that wants to change your life. No excuses, he just did it. He said I'm not going to eat like crap and I'm going to push myself every day and have an healthy and active lifestyle and still have fun at the same time.

How many of us can say we had the guts and discipline to do that? We're gonna miss you buddy. Come visit us again sometime. Not sure when I'm going to be up in Bend, OR but you never know. Cause I gets around.

Okay . . . that was sad. But DMeyer would want us to go on with the blog.

So here we go.

Today I packed my lightweight red shoes that I love so much because the workout said we would be running, doing power cleans and toes to the bar.

Then Mother Nature said "Nah, let's send two storm systems your way instead."

So when I get to the gym I realize that unless I felt like swimming 400 meters there was no way we were stepping foot outside today. Then I see Kristi writing on the board that we were doing double-unders instead.

Okay, these red minimalist shoes are GREAT. I love them.

Except when it comes to double-unders. Then I refuse.

Why? Try doing double-unders barefoot and whip your toes with that rope. It freakin hurts doesn't it? Well that's how it feels. My shoes offer no protection at all. Hence the whole minimalist thing you know?

So usually if I see DU's on the website the night before I make sure and bring my old New Balances. I know enough of you guys have seen me rip through the double-unders so you know I can do them. But I have to do them with regular shoes.

ANYWAY . . . that's why I was like eff that I need substitution. I could either run in the rain or . . . hit the rowing machine.

But then I noticed there was another option, that funky stationary bike with the digital readout and the hand pump things that went back and forth. Whatever it's called.

I was like, cool, it's even got a timer on it. I asked Bump about it and he was like, "Just go really hard like you see those guys train on the Ultimate Fighter." Okay.

I'm not dumb, I know that thing is going to be tough as hell. But I still rather do that then break my toes.

Anyway, by the time the workout starts Kehau is snickering, Kristi is smiling and Frank is looking at me like I'm from Mars.

The original workout called for a 400 meter run, 15 power cleans, 20 toes to bar, an 800 meter run, 15 power cleans, 20 toes to bar then another 400 run to end it all.

Everyone else did DU's instead of running and I was on the stationary bike.

It wasn't pretty. That bike kicked my ass. You know what really hurts?

My forearms.

I can barely type on the keys right now, but I had to. Had to dedicate this I Hate Cardio blog to D-Man.

Gonna be a much quieter gym without you. Aloha and God bless.

Rod

Today was so weird and wonderful I don't even know what to title this blog

2012-03-03T02:10:00.001-08:00

Okay, so. This all started off with me being late to the gym today.

Had a late meeting and was pissed. I was hoping to workout at 5 then hit First Friday, then see a friend of mine play music in Kihei.

I got out in time to catch the 6 p.m. class. I get there and I see the group already doing their warm up 400 meter run. Sigh.

I've been missing so many workouts lately that making Friday's workout had a sort of sense of urgency for me. And today was supposed to be thrusters and running, not my most favorite movements.

Notice I said supposed to. Yup.

Anyway so I walk into the gym and the whole RFM crew is there. I just figured everybody was still hanging out from the 5 p.m.

I get changed and come out of the restroom and somebody asks me, "Hey, you snatching today?"

Snatching? Then I remembered. We were supposed to do snatches for the Crossfit Games this week.

I was stoked. Snatches instead of thrusters? No contest.

I like snatches. The weight's on the ground and you lift it above your head. No bending your wrist backwards, no squatting, no funky movements. You just lift the weight.

This particular snatch workout called for 30 reps of 75 pounds, then 30 reps of 135, 30 reps of 165 and then as many reps as possible of 210.

I knew for sure I wasn't getting to 210, but I was thinking it was possible to get to 165 and crank out one rep at least.

What I didn't know was that this workout was freaking people out for some reason. I was late so I guess I didn't see people struggling with some of the heavier snatch weights. I was totally oblivious.

Anyway since I missed the warm-up I figured I better stretch and maybe practice a snatch or two so I walk over to the 135 someone set up and get in position. Bump says to me, "Hey, did you even warm-up?" and being a smart ass I told him, "Yeah I went out last night." Then he says "don't blame me when your shoulder hurts tonight."

I thought he was joking. I was like whatever and I snatched the weight.

The reaction in the gym was like I had just turned water into wine.

"Whoa!!!"

"Did you see that?"

"Holy sh..."

I was totally confused. I thought I was missing some sort of joke. Then I realized everyone was serious.

A little bit later Frank slaps on 155 to get a good feel for what it might be like if he gets a chance to hit 165. I figured I should try it too. When I walked over to it Frank said later that he thought I was joking.

So yeah, I snatched that too. It was a little harder than the 135 but I got it up with almost the same effort.

Again, the reaction was like I had performed some sort of minor miracle. Then Frank said something that really really really humbled me. He said he had a lot of respect for me for lifting that weight.

That's huge, I consider Frank one of the best athletes that I've ever known in my life. A rare blend of speed, strength and stamina combined in a guy that doesn't say much because he's too busy trying to run faster, lift heavier and push himself harder than anyone else.

That's when I started getting really nervous for the workout.

I felt like now that people saw me lift those weights that the pressure was on. I started thinking about my back and whether it would allow me to finish and whether I had the stamina to endure 60 reps.

Because as you know, I freaking hate cardio.

I had a LOT of nervous energy. I started feeling jittery and began breathing kind of quickly.

Then I found out that I wasn't going to be in the first round. Great, now I have to spend 10 minutes feeling like I want to throw up.

Derek needed a counter and so I paired up with him. He tells me he's hoping to just get 5 reps of the 135.

That's when I knew I was going to scream really loud for him. Not just to help him but to help myself get rid of some nervousness.

So the first round starts and Derek breezes through the first round of 75. Then he puts on the 135 and gets his first snatch. Then his second. Then his third. I'm screaming at him. I'm jumping up and down. I'm shaking my fist and telling him to do more.

He hits 5 and he keeps going. At some point I notice that he's actually having an easier time lifting because he technique was improving and I yell at him, "YOU'RE GETTING BETTER AT THIS!!!" or something like that.

What was funny was he looked up like a little kid and smiled and said, "I am, huh!"

That was the turning point because he believed he could do more. Confidence is a game changer and he just got some right there and then. He ended up getting 17 reps total and we were both hugging each other. It was friggen awesome.

Meanwhile I saw Frank got all 60 reps. I found myself thinking that I had to do at least as many as he did.

Then I caught myself and thought, "Holy crap did I just think that? I have to do as many reps as Frank. That thought has never even occurred to me before because it has never been possible."

Oh man, I felt better yelling for Derek but then the nervousness started kicking up again.

Anyway, we start the second round.

The 75's were easy but by the end of it I was a little winded and my legs were shaking. I couldn't figure out if it was because I was tired or still nervous. Probably both.

Somehow I got the 135 on and took my first rep. Whew. A little harder than the practice reps I took because I was winded from the first round.

All of a sudden I felt my dreams of hitting 165 slip away.

Thank God for Derek, he kept me on track. I don't know when I finished the 30 but I had less than a minute to get the 165 on and take at least one rep.

But I swear to God, at that point putting on weights with my back fried like that was probably harder than actually doing the snatches. I was moving like an 80 year old man with scoliosis. Derek was yelling at me to forget about the clips and I was putting on the last weight when time ran out.

Damn it. I don't know if I would have gotten it but it would have been nice to try.

Later on Erin was showing me her iPhone video of my snatches. I have no technique whatsoever. No wonder Bump said it was super ugly.

But for the first time we had the same WOD score, 60 reps. It's pretty cool to say I got the same score as Bump and Frank. Not sure when that's going to ever happen again but I'm happy it happened at least once.

And thanks to Derek for the pic. See you all next time guys. Maybe tomorrow.

Because I still want to try that 165.

Shoots,

Rod

Redemption Song or F-U Kona Red

2012-02-29T21:49:00.001-08:00

So today I have a good idea of why I almost collapsed and passed out on Tuesday.

See, on Tuesday I drank me a bottle of some Kona Red.

What is that you may ask? Well, despite the fact that it's called KONA Red it's actually a drink they make right here on Maui. Somebody figured out that you can take the red fruit from the coffee bean bush and actually do something with it.

Supposedly it has more antioxidants than blueberries and acai berries but it also has a kick like a Red Bull.

I don't drink coffee or even Coke or Pepsi or anything else besides water and coconut juice (alcoholic beverages are different of course) but someone left a pack of Kona Red in the office and offered it to everyone so I took a bottle.

The stupid thing was I drank it late in the day, around 3 p.m. or something. By the time I got to the gym I was feeling sort of weird. I just thought I was excited to make it to a workout finally.

Anyway, like I said during the last post I did the first round of double unders and my frickin heart was pounding and it felt like all my blood was flowing away from my brain.

At first I thought I might have to do something drastic, like stop drinking beer. (Shiver)

Then today I was in the office and saw the Kona Red box and thought, waitaminute, that might have had something to do with it.

I knew I'd know for sure today because we had to deal with Annie, which was 50, 40, 30, 20, 10 reps of double unders and sit ups.

If I almost died from doing just 20 DU's then I wouldn't last long today.

So we start, and I start killing the DU's.

I mean, not as fast or as quick as D.Meyer or Ikaika or anything, who were both BLAZIN through the first 50 DU's but I wasn't slow either. I got stuck around 30 but pounded out the next 20 pretty easy.

The sit-ups sucked though but that's okay, because I kept ripping the DU's. It was nice to have Kristi reaffirm that I was doing well with her "YEAH ROD!!!" cheers everytime I got up there.

I finally got to the last 10 reps and copied a move that Tehau did earlier, where she flung her jump rope across the room. Freaking redemption today man, I was tired but happy.

All I gotta say is I'm NEVER DRINKING KONA RED AGAIN . . . I mean, as someone who totally supports small business as the solution to bringing back the economy (for example, RFM) and I'm very impressed that these guys found a use for a fruit that was being thrown away by the ton by the coffee industry . . . this stuff and my body do not mix. At all.

By the way, good to see braddah Josh Lindsey in the RFM gym once more. I brought Josh to RFM back in 2010 and he was killing it, but then started working construction in Lahaina and couldn't make the workouts anymore. Today he was yelling at me and pushing me like old times and it was a good thing because those sit-ups were tough.

Wow, never thought I'd ever say that sit-ups were tougher than double-unders but there you go. They were.

You know what? For the first time I didn't look at anyone's time except for me. I know I did finished at 10:29 but I can't tell you what Derek or Ikaika or anyone else did.

And you know what, I don't care. It's good to be back. Been a good year so far and it's only getting better.

As for Annie, she's my biyotch. Who's next?

Later kids,

Rod

Epic fail and Kehau has the same birthday as my grandma

2012-02-29T02:29:00.002-08:00

First off, happy birthday to Kehau, aka Tehau, the strongest Samoan/Tongan hybrid woman on Maui.

She turned the big 30 today as my grandma turned 83. Slight age difference between the two.

We had a birthday party this past weekend for Kehau, during which we celebrated only as RFMer's should.

We did WOD's. Well, not me. I was drinking. But her husband Frank and Ikaika were all over it.

By the way, the WOD was ridiculous. It was the "do as many burpees as you can in 7 minutes or until you die" WOD. Here are the guys in action on Saturday:

Yeah, sorta kinda nuts.

In any case I did NOT do this WOD. In fact I haven't been doing any WOD's lately, hardly ever. Combination of stupid after work meetings and more stupid meetings.

Then yesterday I tried to workout, I was excited even. We had this cool WOD upon the board that had like 8 different movements. First was box jumps and push-ups then pull-ups and double unders followed by kettlebell swings and the 100 meter dash. Fun stuff.

Started out well too. Derek did four rounds and I was right behind him and with 3 rounds and 6 reps.

But then I started really SUCKING at the pull-ups like I've never sucked before. And my double unders were there the first round, I went really fast and again I had a witness, Kristi this time.

After that though, I was out of gas. I started feeling dizzy like I just gave blood or something and when the round was over I laid down and couldn't get back up to do the KB swings.

What the hell man? My back was still in one piece and this was a good mix of movements, some upper body and some lower, perfect for me or so I thought. What the hell happened?

Whatever the case I think I need to get a little more regular about my training. And start eating well again. My body cries out for another round of Paleo and I need it to train for the Warrior Dash.

Seriously, because today sucked.

Here's something that does not suck though, my buddy Josh is back at the gym.

Josh started coming to RFM about two years ago then dropped out after about a month and a half. He just had a lot of things going on but I knew he'd be back one day.

Good to have you back bro, hope you start reading the blog again.

Okay folks, tomorrow is another workout. Let's hope I don't almost pass out again.

Rod

Power cleans are weird and how box jumps can kill you

2012-02-16T15:27:00.000-08:00

Had a hell of a workout on Wednesday.

First we started out with power cleans.

Something really really really weird happened while I was doing them.

I think I may have actually gotten the movement right.

But if it is right then it feels so wrong.

Let me explain. So I guess the way you're supposed to do a power clean is pull it up from the floor to your waist and then explode up with a jump.

I always jump too early because it feels weird to not pull. It's like you are forcing your body not to lift weights while you're getting ready to lift weights.

That doesn't make sense, I know. Anyway.

And if you do it right, the bar just flips over and pow, it's on your shoulders. You don't feel like you used your muscles at all sorta.

And that feels wrong too.

Power cleans are weird but I got up to 195 yesterday. It was ugly but I did it. Guess I gotta go for 200 next time.

Really not looking forward to that.

And then . . . came the WOD.

Thrusters then box jumps for rounds of 21, 15 and 9 reps.

Bruce, Kats and I all used 95 pounds as our weight, which we all knew would suck. Bump suggested we all use the 24 inch boxes for our jumps too.

So the clock starts and we start thrusting. The first 10 go surprisingly well and even though I started bogging a little I hit all 21 reps without resting.

But then I tried to jump. Holy crap I almost killed myself. My legs barely made it to the top of the box.

I was like no way, what the hell. I jumped again and again barely made it to the top. I made one more jump and then Bump came with the smaller box for me to use. Either he sensed the danger or got tired of me saying "No effin way brah, this ain't happening."

That was round one. The second round was worse, much worse. I broke up the reps into groups of five so I could rest 3 times while completing 15 reps. Jumping almost as bad.

The last 9 reps were terrible, I think I could only do two thrusters at a time. The jumps seemed to last forever and I thought it would never end.

Of course after the WOD we had the cashout to do. Grab dumbbells and hold one high and the other low and walk for the fence about 100 yards away. I grabbed 25 pound weights. Yeah I was being a wuss but I DON'T CARE . . . at least not at that point I didn't.

Thrusters man, I hate 'em and I'm tired of being a wuss when it comes to squat workouts. I'm going to have to get serious about improving my leg strength because I can't just continue on like this where I push myself during upper body and just get by during lower body workout days.

Not. Happenen.

Late,

Rod

Fast and furious

2012-02-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

This Saturday I missed a good workout. Hand-stand push-ups, dips and push ups.

An all upper body workout, FINALLY. And I don't go.

Great.

But then today I checked and saw another workout that I might be good at. Push presses, sit ups and lunges. Three rounds.

Okay, not bad. The reps were 10 push presses, 20 sit-ups and 30 lunges (15 on each side).

I'm thinking, can do, can do.

Of course I look around during the 5 p.m. class and the big three were there: Ikaika, Derek and Marcus.

And Bruce. I didn't mean to overlook Bruce but he wasn't doing too well.

In fact, he was sick, still getting over some bug or something. Most normal people would stay home but not Bruce of course.

Kehau was sick and she stayed home, and she was one of our coaches. But Bruce . . . you know, I just realized he's got the same name as the guy who turns into the Hulk, Bruce Banner.

Fitting.

Anyway, we're setting up for the workout and Bruce tells me, "Eh Rod we go do the same weight we did last week for push-press."

What? Last week was 60 percent of our one rep max, which is 135. This week it's supposed to be 50 percent, or about 110.

Nah, Bruce said. "We go try 'em. We can die together."

Say what? I thought this guy was supposed to be sick? Kristi even came up to me (nice to have her back by the way) and said, "Ok Rod, pay attention to Bruce during the WOD. He looks kinda pale . . ."

Oh yeah? Try tell him that.

So I notice Marcus and Ikaika also loading up the 45 pound plates and so I'm guessing it's on. We break up into two rounds and Bruce takes the first one.

The timer starts and I know he's bogging because he's actually having a hard time with the weight, and it's only the first round.

And this is Bruce mind you. He throws up 135 above his head like kids eat candy after trick-or-treating.

Anyway he goes for it and I'm watching to make sure he doesn't puke. But the guy powers through and even managed to do some jumping lunges during the last round, which was pretty impressive.

Then it was my turn. The round starts and I THINK I got through my push presses first. I'm pretty sure I did anyway.

I start ripping on the sit-ups but I see guys finishing before me. Then I really lose any momentum I had during lunges.

Second and third rounds go about the same and I finish at about 6:14 I think. Not bad but my legs were toasted. I had a hard time walking afterwards.

Then we had to do three sets of 10 roll-outs to finish ourselves off. These frickin cash-outs are exactly that. They cash your ass OUT.

OH WAIT, I ALMOST FORGOT!!!

Hahahahahaha . . . guess who wants to run the Warrior Dash with us?

My little brother. Ha!

He lives on Oahu and when I told him we had an extra space for the 10:30 a.m. heat he said he was in.

Now, my brother was quite the athlete in high school: football, basketball and track.

He still runs a lot playing pick-up games, but that's about it.

We'll see how he does at Warrior Dash. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

See you at the box folks,

Rod

My favorite place

2012-02-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me as I was lying down on the floor of the RFM gym after yesterday's workout that I'm never as happy as I am when the workout is done and I'm lying down on the floor, drenched in my own sweat.

It's a wonderful feeling of euphoria as I stare at the ceiling and realized yesterday that, "Wow, I love this floor."

Especially after 8 rounds of back to back leg burners. Goblet squats and mountain climbers.

I don't know what it is. Maybe I just don't have the leg strength. Maybe my cardio sucks even worse than I think it does.

Or maybe I just don't have a tolerance for pain in my quads and hamstrings.

I don't know what it is but I only scored 130 reps on yesterday's workout. I got burned out so fast it wasn't funny.

I know Bump is all, "just go all out" and I do. Then I get tired and my legs don't work.

I tried, for real. Wish I had Bruce's will power. You know that part in Rocky IV when the Ivan Drago remarks how hard it is to knock Stallone out?

"He is not human, he is like a piece of iron."

That's the quote I think of when I see Bruce powering it out during the WOD. Braddah is nuts.

So, here's to becoming a piece of iron.

In other news . . . had fun lifting barbell turkish get-ups yesterday with Marcus. Damn kid wouldn't give up.

Thanks for pushing but till we hit 85 pounds. That sucked.

And thanks to Erin H. for my six pack of Primo! Aurite.

Laters,

Rod

Partners

2012-02-04T16:39:00.000-08:00

Friday and Saturday's workouts were interesting, if only because both workouts we were paired up with another person.

This accomplishes two things. First, you have someone to push you and count reps for you. Second is that you actually get to rest for a little while while they're doing their round.

Friday my partner was Kehau. We were doing five handstand pushups, 10 situps and 20 double unders. She got lots of rest because my double unders once again SUCKED. Thank God Derek and Bump have actually seen my consecutive DU's before because even I'm not believing that I ever did that.

Anyway, Kehau is ripping like she always does. Small kine struggling in the later rounds on HSPU but who the hell wasn't bogging by then? I finally get some decent DU's in the middle rounds then lose them again later.

In the end we had a pretty decent score. Thanks Sole girl.

Then today we did a special workout for Alex, who turned 17 today. Twelve box jumps, 6 thrusters and 6 burpees. My partner was Brent. He's a newbie but no slouch. First time doing thrusters and he was a champ. We were both barely able to jump during the burpees though.

We managed to push each other too but I was also trying to get him to rest so that I could rest too. I was saying stuff to him during his round like:

"No worries Brent, take your time."

"Slow and steady, that's how you do it."

"Catch your breath, no worries."

"STOP MOVING!!!"

Okay, I didn't say that last one but I kinda wanted to. Nah, today wasn't that bad.

In other news: I gots some new shoes.

They were about $55 at Foot Locker. Saucony Hattori's. Check it out except I got red ones:

Pretty sweet and they're light too. Super light. But they hurt like hell if I miss a double under and whip my toes.

Alsooooooooooooo . . . I brought the Nikon to the gym because I was tired of getting blurry images because the shutter speed isn't fast enough to catch motion. Anyway, let's see how they turned out:

Working from home

2012-01-31T10:48:00.001-08:00

Not sure if I'll make it out to the workout today, but if anyone is coming from Haiku or Paia to do the WOD let me know.

Following Ken

2012-01-30T21:41:00.000-08:00

I don't usually write about Ken on my blog. He's a quiet dude that doesn't draw any attention to himself.

He's a good athlete though and more often than not gets good scores/times on his WOD.

And while he's not exactly someone I'd call inspired, he freaking pushed me hard today. And he wasn't even trying.

So today was deload week for power cleans. Ken and I are sharing a bar and I tell him I didn't do my one rep max so I'm not sure what weight to use for this.

He says, that's okay, we'll just go up to 175.

I kinda blinked because that's not a weight I would have associated with the words "deload" and "power cleans" in the same sentence.

To me that means go light and work on your technique. And Ken's not a "go crazy lift as much as you can" sort of guy either.

Anyway I agreed and we start lifting. I'm not feeling it. Ken keeps telling me I've got great form and so does Bumper but I'm not exploding off the ground like I should, nor am I pulling my arms up high enough.

So after we hit 145 I tell Ken that I don't think I'm going up in weight anymore. His reaction was classic:

"What? Why? That's not heavy is it?"

From anybody else I would assume they were talking smack. Not Ken. He really couldn't understand why I did not want to go up in weight.

And so I did.

I continued to struggle and have problems but at least we were lifting Ikaika weight and so he joined us now. At the end of the workout I was sweating bullets. A hard feat during deload week. Thanks Ken.

BUT THEN . . . we break up into three stations for the WOD because we're doing dips, sit-ups and air squats, five rounds of 30 seconds of work and 30 seconds of rest.

I start off with the sit-ups and who's there with me? Ken.

I don't notice him at first but then we get to the dips and there he is, cranking out three dips for every one of mine on the rings.

Then we hit squats and I'm thinking, he's going to dust me unless I match him squat for squat. And so I try.

I'm surprised nobody noticed. I was right behind Ken and doing my best to go up and down at the same time as he was. I figured if we were even on the squats I'd have a chance to pass him on the sit-ups and have a better overall total, even if he was beating me on the dips.

Didn't exactly work out that way. But I definitely worked out a lot harder because of him today, so once again, thanks Ken.

Anyway, on to more important issues. Like my next pair of Crossfit shoes.

I've got more bills to pay but by my next paycheck I'll be ready to get an upgrade.

Kehau tried to talk some sense into me today, but I can't help it. I'm going to get some Pumas.

Besides, I keep hearing people complain about those Innovates and I can't see myself wearing shoes with built in toes.

Gonna get me some yellow Esito Vulc Sala Indoor trainers. Oh yeah. Google 'em.

Later kids,

Rod

Counting Your Reps

2012-01-28T10:48:00.000-08:00

I don't usually get serious on this thing but I have to point something out here.

You get from Crossfit what you put into it. There are no prizes, no trophies for lifting the most weight or having the most reps, just personal satisfaction that you pushed yourself and will feel great tomorrow (after you feel exhausted today).

That said, why would you want to cheat yourself and not be honest about your reps?

Come on, does it really mean that much to have the fastest time next to your name if you secretly doing 12 reps instead of the 20 that everyone else was doing?

Derek is a good example of a guy that sticks to the workout no matter what. Foolishly he picked the 40 pound dumbells even though he had to do overhead lunges and has a gimp shoulder. He ended up finishing last but he stuck to it because he wants to improve his shoulder strength.

He's got goals and he's attacking his weaknesses. I know he cares about his WOD score but that's secondary to improving himself first.

Once in a while I'll sandbag and choose a lower weight (especially for thrusters) but I won't skip out on reps. The only exception is when I'm so brain-fried in the later rounds that I'm like, "Wait, where am I and what round am I on?"

So, hey, don't just count those reps. Love those reps. They're like gold. Everytime you skip one it's like throwing away money.

Personally I love to hate them, but I still count every last one of the.

Anyway, thanks for letting me stand on my soap box, on to other news . . .

First off, Kehau, aka Tehau, aka the reason people searching for the term "Samoan woman" on Google end up at my blog, has recovered from her illness and returned to the gym.

Actually she's not quite recovered and I heard her coughing a bit yesterday. That might be why I ALMOST beat her during the WOD.

I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "Hey Rod, are you actually trying to brag about ALMOST beating a still recovering girl who just got back to the gym and probably isn't 100 percent yet? Really?"

No, I'm not bragging. I'm just stating a fact. I was like 30 seconds behind her finishing time. Might have been 40 seconds.

But damn it I beat the other women. And the guy who just joined this week. Yeah.

Also I must really apologize to Patty. We sorta kinda fought over the red jump rope in the gym on Wednesday because it was one of those that doesn't get tangled up. She relented and took a crappy rope instead.

But when the WOD started I SUCKED. I should have just handed that rope back to Patty because I wasn't doing any good with it. I wasted the rope. She could have gotten double the reps she did if she had my jump rope and I probably would have gotten the same because it was just one of those days. Derek was right, some days you have double unders and some days you don't.

Actually I owe Patty two apologies. While doing planks I was farting like crazy and she was right behind me. I can't help it. Any sort of workout that involves strengthening your core muscles and I'm pushing out gas.

You'd think that I would feel more embarrassed by this but I've heard enough of YOU folks next to me to know that I'm not the only one with this problem. Thank God the fan was facing Patty's direction on Wednesday though.

Okay guys, I have to work today so I WON'T be doing the Saturday workout which looks like it sucks anyway. But I would have if I didn't have to work.

Later kids,

Rod

Lunges hurt

2012-01-24T23:25:00.000-08:00

You know that feeling when you look up at the WOD board and think, "Yeah, that doesn't look too bad today?"

Well whenever you think that you are wrong. You're always wrong.

This is not a theory or a hypothesis or an educated guess. This is just the truth. It's a law of inverse Crossfit reaction to RFM workouts.

Every single time, and I mean every single time, that I have thought I was going to have an easy workout I have been completely off-base.

It's not that I think it'll be easy, I know it's going to be hard. But it's the degree of hardness which I'm always wrong about.

Take the other day when we did the run, box jumps and push ups. I'd rate that a 7 on the scale but when I looked at the board I was thinking more like an 8.

Today I saw the board and thought, 7, because it was a dumbell complex of power cleans, push presses and lunges.

Eff that, it was a 9. Those lunges were nuts. I did the first round (we had to do 5) and was like WTF?

See, you had to hold the dumbells over your head while you were lunging. Not only did that make your shoulders tired but you have to stabilize your core muscles too.

What that means is you're doing a shitload of work for just to do five lunges on each leg.

The icing on the cake was that we got to rest five minutes then do 30 burpees.

In comparison the burpees were almost relaxing compared to the lunges. I think I relaxed too much though. While I was trying to go slow and steady my gym buddies were ripping it. Bruce and Ikaika and Derek all finished around the 1 minute mark while I almost needed 2 minutes.

Yeah . . . .oh well.

On another note, been checking out these Puma Fast Cats Crossfit shoes. They look sweet AND I can wear 'em with jeans.

Hey if I'm going to spend $80 I'm wearing those suckers more than just at the gym. Check 'em out:

http://www.shop.puma.com/Men/Footwear/Motorsport/Speed-Cat-SD-Shoes/pna301953,en_US,pd.html&cgid=23000#!i%3D29%26color%3D22%26size%3DUS_9

Aight, I'm out. Later guys.

Rod

A Good Workout

2012-01-23T23:08:00.000-08:00

Finally.

So today's workout wasn't exactly one of my bread and butter workouts. Run 800 meters, do 10 box jumps then 10 push ups and see how many rounds you can hit in 10 minutes.

Push-ups I can do. The other crap not so much.

Plus the back was tight again. DMeyer helped me stretch though and I kinda skipped the deload strength workout.

But hey, you gotta listen to the bod right? Besides, I hate to have seen what would have happened if I hadn't stretched.

So we start off and of course, everybody blows past me. Derek and Bob and Patty and Kats and everyone.

We got to the halfway mark and turned around and as we started running downhill I was like, "Hey, I might be able to catch up to a few people."

So I passed my first victim, she who will not be named but she does cute little cheers during our workouts. Anyway usually she always runs in front of me but when I passed her this time I must have caught her by surprise because I heard her say, "Oh really?" as I ran by.

Then I went past Kats and another guy that just joined. Only Bob, Thumper (no I didn't just develop a lisp, we have a Bumper and a Thumper at our gym now believe it or not), and Derek.

I wasn't going to catch up to them but I did start jumping as soon as I got near my box. Whatever my reasons I even used the taller box than I usually use. I figured I can jump 10 and not kill myself.

Anyway we start jumping and I'm not going slow but I'm not going fast either. Just a steady pace.

Push-ups were tough with that pause at the bottom but I ripped through those as quickly as possible and then it was time for the box jumps again.

Before we knew it the 10 minutes were up and I had pounded out 5 rounds and 4 leftover box jumps.

Not amazing but better than usual. The thing I'm most proud of though is this: I didn't stop.

Yep, that's right. Usually I'd be on the floor DURING the workout, trying to catch my breath. This time though I kept a steady pace, no resting, at least not for more than a second or two.

I don't know, maybe my body was just happy that I only had to run the 800 once. Maybe Bump saying that he didn't want those rebound jumps helped me concentrate on doing good technique and slowing it down enough for me to relax.

Who knows, whatever happened it worked though.

And by the way Erin H, the Pats are going DOWN . . . NEW YORK BABY!!!!

Hoo-RAH!!!

Peace,

Rod

Almost wished I didn't look at tomorrow's workout

2012-01-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

Running, thrusters and burpees.

You know, I go to Honolulu for business and miss a couple of days of Crossfit then I come back and I see the worst workout ever posted for Friday.

I'm already not looking forward to Saturday. I see much pain and suffering in my future.

Please God, give me Man Strength for tomorrow's workout. Amen.

Man Strength

2012-01-17T00:06:00.000-08:00

Today was push press for strength again. This time we were looking for that 1 rep max.

The last one rep max I had was 205 and my technique sucked. This time I had a slightly better idea about what to do and how to do it.

But first I want to talk about a phrase Bump coined today. It's called, "man strength".

We were watching Bruce put up 215 earlier and it got stuck right above his head while his elbows were bent.

Usually when someone gets stuck right there it's all over. It's not supposed to be humanly possible. Especially with push press. You lose the momentum from the dip drive that you generate with your legs and it's all up to your shoulders.

Except Bruce has man mountain shoulders. That damn thing was stuck above his head for several seconds, enough time for anyone's muscles to get exhausted with 215 overhead.

Frickin Bruce pushed that thing up anyway. Just pure strength. Bump looks at me and says "that's man strength."

Now before I or Bump get any accusations of being sexist I have to clarify. Not every man has "man strength" and you don't have to be a man to have "man strength."

Bruce has man strength because he did the impossible, because that weight should not have gone up from that position but it did.

Case in point, when my turn rolled around I ended up with 215 as well. I got it up, barely. Afterwards I saw stars, little birdies and bright lights surrounding my head and my back felt like someone hit it with a sledgehammer.

That's not man strength, that's just all sorts of stupid. But I had slightly better form doing 215 than I did doing 205 months ago so I'm happy about that.

Then came the WOD. Ten handstand pushups, 15 pull-ups, 20 air squats. Those pull-ups killed me.

Figures I finally learn how to do double unders but I let my pull-ups slack. Lame.

Also, I received a few comments about my handstand technique where I kick my legs against the wall as fast and as hard as I can. This saves me a couple of seconds.

Kats said he thought I was going to smash through the wall. Sorry buddy, it's an advanced technique, I can teach it to you but it might take a few months to master it.

Seriously though, I think everybody should try it. Bet you do faster HSPU rounds next time.

And because I invented it they can name the technique after me. Like the Antone Kick Stand Start or something.

Come on, you know you want to try it.

Okay peeps, I'm out.

Rod

Single Digit Body Fat

2012-01-12T11:16:00.000-08:00

So we're going through one hell of a workout on Tuesday that involved one of those 20 seconds of work 20 seconds of rest things. Eight rounds that started off with kettlebell swings, then sit-ups then burpees.

The burpees were killer. I was kinda bogging when Bump yells at me, "C'mon Antone! This is a big year for us! Let's get it down to single digit body fat this year!!!'

Now you guys know me, I get exhausted fast and nothing anyone yells at me can snap me out of my haze but Bump managed to do that.

See, this is the year I turn the big 4-0. Yup, me and Bump and the rest of Maui High School Class of 1990.

Single digit body fat at 40? Can it be done? Of course. Will it be done? Tough but . . . I want to.

Be nice to take off my shirt and not be sucking in the gut. (Not that it helps) I mean, I feel 100 percent in better shape because of RFM and people have noticed. But getting the six pack back is a special project, which involves all kinds of factors and work outside the gym.

I can do it. All it takes is money for certain kinda groceries, packing meals the night before and caution when it comes to eating out.

Single digit body fat percentage. Wow.

Okay, enough about that crap. Yesterday we did a strange one workout. Five dips, 10 lunges and 15 double-unders, AMRAP for 3 minutes. Rest, then repeat for a total of 3 rounds.

Strange because it wasn't completely exhausting. And wonderful because once again I cranked out double unders at light speed and I had a witness.

My first round I did them in front of Bump and it was fast. Like I'm talking first one done with the round kinda fast and Bump was like, "Yeah Rod, YEAH!"

Here's the weird part though. I did a total of 8 rounds and my timing for double-unders was off from the second to the six round and then I got the rhythm back for the last two rounds.

Oh, that and I need my own jump rope. I've been lucky enough to use Lori's every single time but I'm getting my own soon on Friday. Hopefully Sports Authority has some options.

So yeah, I finally got double-unders and it feels good. It's taken almost two years but better late than never and just in time for year 40.

Alright gang, see you Friday,

Rod

Thank You Google Analytics

2012-01-10T15:24:00.000-08:00

Here are some key phrases people type into search engines and end up coming across the I Hate Cardio website. Number three is my favorite.

1. I hate cardio
2. cardio killer
3. "samoan woman"
4. rod antone
5. should i have to wear underwear while doing squats
6. squatting without underwear
7. wear underwear when you do squats

My legs still hurt and tomorrow we have thrusters

2012-01-08T23:21:00.000-08:00

That doesn't mean I'm NOT going to go to the workout tomorrow . . . I probably will.

It's just that it's gonna hurt.

I'm going to try to do Saturday's workout at home, tonight, then take a shower and rest up these legs.

Twelve thrusters then run 200 meter. Whew. Attack the weaknesses right? Here we go.

Bruce is a beast and why I love/hate DMeyer and OHS

2012-01-05T14:35:00.000-08:00

So my last post I talked about being strong and getting it done this year.

I was serious by the way.

And then I saw yesterday's workout posted and it made me regret those words: 7 rounds of 7 overhead squats and 7 burpees.

Damn, damn, damn, damn it all.

That's a brutal workout. One of those that messes with your mind beforehand and your body afterwards.

Of course for strength we were doing front squat, just in case you thought that you were going to start the WOD with fresh legs, think again.

I had an excuse not to go too. Had a work obligation at Akaku with the boss at 7 p.m. I could have gone home and had dinner or stayed at the office and got some stuff done.

But instead I got in the car and drove to RFM for a hellish workout.

DMeyer was there along with Kats and Lori, Alex and Tito.

And Bruce. He's new but he is a beast. Bruce feels no pain.

I say this because Bruce is about 5 years older than me and hasn't squatted in seven years. But he gives it his all every single time.

During the WOD I know his legs were hurting but he kept going and didn't rest. He was a machine. A beast machine.

(There was one funny part though where Bruce thought he was on round six but he was actually on round five and he was like "FAACKKKK I GET TWO MORE ROUNDS TO GO!!!")

My only saving grace is that we were paired up with a partner to help keep count and to my horror it was DMeyer.

Derrick is a slave driver, he'll push you and he's relentless. At least he gave me five seconds to rest between overhead squats and burpees though.

I needed that though, otherwise I might have given up. But believe it or not the WOD wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was afterwards, as I was laying on the floor and realized with horror that I was expected to count for D while he did his WOD.

D was all ready to go and I couldn't even stand yet. I had to drag myself to his side of the gym and I counted from the floor. Kinda hard to push someone while you're wasted physically yourself.

But I did try. D was on his seventh round and the clock hit 5 minutes and I was like, "Finish before you hit 5:30, DO IT !!!"

He did it, and with 95 pounds as his weight too. (Rest of us used 65 pounds or the bar).

DMeyer and Bruce, you guys is the bestest. Please continue to inspire and push me so that I may feel like crap every day after the WOD.

On another note, has anyone noticed having PERFECT posture after doing overhead squats WOD's?

My back gets straighter, my shoulders more erect and my legs super stiff so that I'm standing in a perfectly straight line from head to toe.

I'm just sayin. Anyone? Let me know if OHS affects you like this too.

Adios gang,

Rod

If the world ends in 2012 I'm gonna be pissed

2012-01-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

So you know that thing about 2012 right?

The Mayan calendar says there's supposed to be some sort of Galactic Alignment where all the planets line up with the Milky Way and crazy crap is supposed to happen. Stuff like Atlantis rises up out of the ocean, UFO's show up over major US cities and the women of the View turn into demons from the Ninth circle of Hell.

Anyway, I hope none of that happens because I finally got some of that stuff that comes in handy at RFM.

It's called "motivation."

Last time I felt this way I had a big Vegas trip coming up. This time it's just because I know I can. I did this the first time I did the Whole 30 and was on a strict Paleo diet. Then Vegas came up and I went Paleo again and added extra cardio with Kehau and Bump.

Now the holidays are over and so are some of my bills. (Thank God) We've got the Warrior Dash coming up and some sort of fitness contest at Lahaina Crossfit. All this equals good fodder for getting serious.

It's kinda cool because I know exactly what I have to do to get results. I'm not even worried about it. It's going to happen, no doubt. Plus I'm bragging about it on my blog so now I have to be accountable.

Seriously though, I don't know how to explain it, I just know. It's time.

And this has nothing to do with the New Year. I don't believe in the whole resolution thing anyway. Why wait? What does the 1st of the year have to do with anything? Besides, RFM was closed on New Year's day anyway.

Which is why I headed in today. Me and the rest of the crew kicked off 2012 with three rounds of a furious WOD. One of those 30 seconds of work, 15 seconds of rest things.

We started out with KB swings, then push-ups, then sit-ups then double-unders. After three rounds it was rough.

The worst part was, I forgot to count.

Actually I counted my first round but forgot that I should have just added it all together. I know the first round I did 23 KB swings, 29 push-ups, 19 sit-ups and 24 double-unders, but I should have just kept counting as I went along and I would have ended up with 95.

But since I didn't do that at the end of the first round I had 15 seconds to add all that up and was like, "Damn it" and just kept going.

I guesstimated that after the first round of 95 I dropped down to 75 and then 65 respectively for the second and third rounds, for a total of 235.

Hey, I'm trying to be honest here and give it my best guess. I know I did at least 20 double unders each round so that's 60 right there, sit-ups were between 13 and 15, KB swings were . . . between 17 and 20 . . . anyway you get the point, it was confusing.

But at least my guesstimate was close and I went lower than I thought I did. At first I said 191 then realized I didn't count the double-unders.

Yeah yeah, mental lapse. But I didn't eat any crappy food today. I drank lots of water and ate a turkey wrap from Mana Foods for dinner.

I'm even cutting down on my drinking and scheduling what nights I'll be going out. Fourth Friday in Paia on the 27th and a big Superbowl Party on Feb. 5th. After that I'm going to be cool until March when we do the Warrior Dash on Oahu.

So hopefully the Mayan's were wrong, I've got too much to do in 2012.

Peace,

Rod

Merry Christmas, have some friction burns on your ass

2011-12-25T18:40:00.000-08:00

You guys ever do Annie? Wait that sounds weird. Let me start again.

Crossfit names some of it's tougher workouts using girls names, like they do hurricanes. It's a good practice because you feel like you get hit by a hurricane afterwards.

"Annie" is the name for the double-unders/sit-ups workout. Reps go something like this: 50, 40, 30, 20, 10.

Pretty simple except you realize that after 50 double-unders your core is toast.

I know this because despite my lack of abs I can do sit-ups. But after the first round of DU's I did the first five sit-ups and said "WTF, I have to do 45 more of these?"

It got to the point where the DU's were the easy part. In fact I actually did consistent DU's for the first time. I'm talking about 15 to 20 reps. Derek was my witness and even he was psyched and yelled, "YEAH ROD!!!!"

(On a side note it's always great when you have an actual witness at RFM that sees you doing something you haven't been able to do before. Like the old saying goes, if you praise yourself you're bragging, if someone else does it for you it's a compliment.)

But yeah, thanks D. He even held my feet so I could crank out the final two sets of sit-ups at the end.

I was tore up in more ways than one afterwards. Not only did my abs hurt for days but I had two lines of friction burns on my behind, one for each cheek. Must have come from the sit-ups. I talked to Val and a couple of other members and they had the same gifts from Annie. Thanks a lot Annie. You and your boyfriend Beelzebump rock.

So after that I wasn't able to make it back to the gym until December 24, which was a Saturday, because I had to go get my son in California. I don't usually go to Saturday workouts but I figured I'd be busy with my son and should take advantage of the fact that he was sleeping off the jet lag from the day before.

So Bump comes out with this workout called the "12 Days of Christmas" and it went something like this:

- One 100 meter run
- Two push presses
- Three pull-ups
- Four lunges
- Five sit-ups
- Six push-ups
- Seven squats
- Eight kettle-bell swings
- Nine toes to bar
- Ten box jumps
- Eleven wall balls
- Twelve burpee star-jumps

I'm looking at it and thinking, "Hmmm . . . looks okay until you hit 9, 10, 11, 12 but should be okay otherwise." Maybe Bump was taking it easy on us because it was Christmas.

Then that bastard explained that we would have to do the workout for the entire length of the song. You know how they start over again each time? So it went like this: Run. Then run and do push presses. Then run and do push-presses and then pull-ups. Then run, push press, pull-ups and add lunges and so on and so forth.

Sweet baby Jesus. So much for the easy holiday schedule. I was right though. I didn't start completely bogging until we hit the toes to bar. That completely sucked.

Scratch that. The burpee star-jumps sucked but by then I was on my last round.

Whoooooooo-boy.

On another note, is anyone going to the Lahaina Crossfit Winter Strength Challenge? How does this work? Do you enter all the events or just the ones you want to? I want to try, just not squats or anything. Or deadlift. I went to their website http://www.lahainacrossfit.com/ but didn't see a list of events or how it works. Ah, I'll figure it out later.

Finally, does anyone need a slot in the 10:30 a.m. Warrior Dash registration http://warriordash.com/register2012_hawaii.php?

My friend Eric is coming to Maui but mixed up his dates and thought he would be here for the Warrior Dash and signed up for it. Anyone who wants to go and hasn't registered can probably pay him for his fee and take his place. If I don't hear from anyone in a week I'll tell him to go ahead and get a refund if he can.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnndddd, for those of you who went to the RFM Christmas party you may have caught a glimpse of Sole Claus, a friend of mine who MC'd the limbo contest. (By the way thank you Val for having your daughter and her boyfriend enter the contest, they were very entertaining.)

Sole was visiting for Christmas and wanted to say a few words on my blog so here he is:

"Eh, is dis ting woking? Ok! How is you guys at da RFM doing? Thanks to you for letting me MC yoa Christmas pah-tee, I was very impressed at yoa abilities fo going unda da white pipe. Ova hea you guys call dat "limbo", at home we just call dat ducking undaneat someting. I neva undastand why you just neva go around dat PVC pipe but it's okay, I no judge anybodee. So long as you haff a good time dat's all dat mattas. You guys had some funnie peoples though. Dere was dat girl dat neva like put down her Primo beer da whole time, I tought she was gonna hit her da kines on da pipe cause she only drink all night but she did pretty good. Den dere was my sole cousin Tehau she do da robot in da semifinals. Dat was very impressive but not as impressive as dat small girl with the big kine . . . flexibility . . .dat when bend all da way backwards. Good ting my cousin is a good sport, oddawise she woulda push all yoa cars out into da street and make all kine pileup. But I tole her, 'Tehau you no kona get ankree like you do at da bar.' I was very proud of her because she control her ankreeness."

Hookay I like to wish everybodee Happy New Year and please no be like my cousin Tefe dat wen blow up his fingers making homekine exposions. Just buy dat stuffs from the store and you light 'em up safely from yoa car while you driving. Dat way you trow it at peoples and drive away at da same time. CHEEEHOOO!!!"

Thanks Sole. Also let's give a shout out to Jordan "JHo" Holland, owner of Xplore Crossfit in Seattle, WA.http://www.xplorecrossfit.com Ran into the guy on the plane home from picking up my son and told him about Raw Fitness Maui. Come check us out!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!!!!

Rod

Sleeping as I write this

2011-12-13T22:37:00.000-08:00

These past couple of workouts I haven't been blogging. Mostly because as soon as I get home I crash out.

I know, every workout at RFM is hard. But I think the holidays have left me more out of shape than usual.

On Monday we squatted, and I even took it down a notch. I based all of my lifts off of 225 so that it was lighter for me. Made a world of difference. For the first time I actually felt good squatting. That and I went barefoot. It all helped.

Then afterwards we did 3 power cleans, 6 push ups and 9 squats, AMRAP for three minutes then rest for one minute. Repeat for three rounds. My back was pretty stiff afterwards.

Today a lot of us were still stiff. But we had to get unstiff quickly as we were running 10 rounds of 40 meter dashes today.

I was lined up with Kats but he pulled something on our second run. After that I ran with Patty and the new guy Dave. I couldn't keep up with Dave and I barely pulled out in front of Patty. That girl is fast AND strong. I dub her Tehau Jr. or Mofotaru. I think I like Mofotaru.

After that I knew I was in trouble. Five rounds of 12 pull ups and 12 burpees. Oh Lord.

Bump was talking about scaling and I was listening. Either cut down on the reps or cut down on the rounds. I went for rounds.

I did okay on the pull ups but those burpees, I had nothing left. My legs were lead once again. I was amazed that even on the 5th round Tito was still jumping pretty high. The rest of us were trying to jump over credit cards.

I was able to pay attention to Tito because I stopped at the fourth round. No legs. Legs were shot.

Now I regret it. I have Crossfit remorse, another phrase to go along with Crossfit amnesia.

Right now though my body doesn't feel like I held back on that last round. It feels like it took a beating.

Whoopie, can't wait for Wednesday. Bring it on Beelzebump, bring it on.

Zzzzzzz....

Stupid Stupid Stupid People

2011-12-07T03:01:00.001-08:00

So we get to the gym today and we're warming up and I notice a couple of police cars on the other end of the parking lot. Then a third one drives by and we're all thinking, what the heck is going on?

We couldn't see what was happening but we figured it wasn't our business so we went on with the workout. Turns out one of our female gym members had a whack experience.

She said a family followed her into the parking lot and claimed that she cut them off and blocked her car in and told her to step out side. Meanwhile they're pounding on the windows and everything. She's freaked out and calls the cops.

All of this takes place a little more than half a football field away. After the cops and the suspect vehicles left she came over and started working out with us. It wasn't until later that she told us what happened.

First off, I have to say I've been cut off and have cut people off. Most of the time by accident. Yeah you get mad but usually sane people honk their horn and go about their business.

What the hell drives you to follow them into a parking lot and block in her car with your car, then have your wife or girlfriend get out and start pounding on the window and demanding a fight? That's beyond ghetto.

What that tells me is that group of people are just angry at life itself and were presented with an situation where they felt justified to take it all out on a stranger. C'mon people, learn to be human beings and get on with it.

It made me wonder though, what would have happened if we DID recognize her car and went over? I predict we would have tried to make peace then threatened to call the cops (which she was already doing while locked in her car anyway).

Would they have taken a swing at us? Who knows. I loves my Maui peeps but sometimes you've just got to leave high school behind. And I swear the women are worse than the guys. They're just ready to throw down on any given occasion.

Sheesh. Anyway . . .

Bump's got us on a new strength workout, on Monday we did five sets of five of deadlifts that just got heavier and heavier. I myself had to lift 200, 220, 255, 280 and 310. I felt like I was speed powerlifting. (With perfect technique of course).

And we have this new guy Bruce who I've known since I was a kid. He's a granddad and still strong as hell. He told me he hasn't lifted deadlifts in seven years but then on his last set he's supposed to only do 280 and he tells me, "Rod try put on 300, I just try 'em once."

Well Bruce cranked out all five of those reps. I was like, this is week one, you might want to not go balls to the wall just yet.

But what the hell, Bruce inspired me. You can tell he's got the Crossfit bug already. He's excited to get really good really fast and that's the kind of guy you want in the gym.

Then today we did five minutes of as many pull ups as we can do for strength. I manged to crank out 36 dead hang pull ups. Tough.

For the WOD we did 15 handstand pushups, 15 dumb bell hang power cleans and then ran the 400. You repeat that same sequence except the reps drop to 12 and 9 respectively. I cranked out the handstand pushups, did reasonably well at the power cleans and was dismal at the run. Yeah I know, not only do I hate cardio but it hates me back. I need to figure out a different way to run I think.

Alright gang, time for bed. Adios.

Rod

Really?

2011-12-01T23:14:00.001-08:00

So I hear I'm being punished for my posts by people NOT POSTING responses purposely.

This hits me hard, as I am a Leo and live off of attention. Yes, I am an egomaniac.

HOWEVER . . . this means I get to say whatever I want without fear of retaliation.

You have been warned. Some verbal ass whupping will begin shortly.

I've been forewarned

2011-12-01T15:21:00.001-08:00

I got this ominous email message today from my good buddy Kehau:

"Call Bumper out and don't show face at RFM? You wussy.

You better come Friday. A mob will be waiting."

It's good to be loved.

Yes, I did compare Bump to the devil. I know he's looking for me but I had to meet with my reporters who write for the University of Hawaii Maui College student newspaper. It's online only but this is as good a place as any to plug the website. www.uhmauinews.com

What's that you say? Why thank you, I'm proud of our student reporters as well. Boy, sure would be great if the Maui News did a little feature article about Maui College starting up the student newspaper again. I know right? It would be perfect for the Sunday paper. If only I knew someone who wrote for the paper. Better yet, someone who writes specifically for the features section and could lend their skills toward crafting a fine story about these young but hungry news hounds.

I'm sure she, I mean whoever that reporter is, would receive accolades from her, I mean their co-workers and peers. The crowds would cheer, champagne would fall from the heavens, doors would open, velvet ropes would part.

But I digress.

Anyway, speaking about writing, I finally checked out Crossfit One World. I was struck by the blogger's writing style. Pretty good. I liked the examples that he listed as far as why someone would benefit from Crossfit training: A first responder may need a short burst of speed and power or the ability to run a medium to long distance without being completely wiped out afterward. A parent should be able to pick up their child, whether in play or in an emergency. An athlete may need to lift something heavy for a short period of time, or lift something light for a long period of time.

Also he had a pretty good motto for his gym and said that his program best prepares you to "Train Not To Suck At Life."

I think I'm going to have to start following this guy, he's got some writing chops.

Sorry, I must be bipolar

2011-11-30T14:19:00.001-08:00

So my last blog I complained about the hell that is RFM and how Bump is a demon, and should have his name changed to Beelze-Bump (haha).

And yet today I feel myself feeling like he doesn't respect us enough to AT LEAST give us the same post Thanksgiving workout as posted on the Hardass Fitness website. Check this out:

600 meter run
40 squats
30 sit ups
20 push ups
10 pull ups
600 meter run
10 pull ups
20 push ups
30 sit ups
40 squats
600 m run
40 squats
30 sit ups
20 push ups
10 pull ups
600 m run
10 pull ups
20 push ups
30 sit ups
40 squats
600 m run

They ran the 600 m FIVE times. Are they crazy? Sadistic? Masochistic?

The sane part of me realizes that we should all be THANKFUL that we did not receive this workout.

And then the abused RFMer in me wants to know why we didn't push it as far as Hardass Fitness did. I saw those people here, our people workout as hard as their people. If anything they do more cardio and we do more lifting.

We can handle that, right? Where the heck is the 600 meter mark around our gym anyway?

Some things just don't go well together

2011-11-29T21:13:00.001-08:00

You know what I mean right? There's stuff out there that people just shouldn't mix, and if they do they get into trouble.

Stuff like oil and water. Drinking and driving. Laxatives and sleeping pills.

Well you can add thrusters and burpees to that list. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Individually they suck. Together they are more powerfully sucky than you can imagine.

Today we had to do 50 thrusters. No time limit but for every minute that went by you had to do 5 burpees.

So unless you did a thruster a second for 50 seconds you were going to do AT LEAST five burpees.

But see, that's the trap. Once you do burpees it eats into your energy for thrusters. Then it takes longer for you to do less thrusters which means you end up doing more burpees because the minutes are getting shorter.

I imagine hell to be like this, where time stretches out and the pain increases into infinity.

Fortunately Bump allows me to scale. Satan wouldn't let me do that probably which might be the only difference between the two of them.

Think about it, both of them think of devious ways to destroy you. They both instruct their lieutenants (coaches) to inflict more suffering upon you and they both laugh when you're in pain.

Something to think about. On Monday's WOD I'm bringing some holy water from church and sprinkling some on Bump just to see if it sizzles. I believe it might.

Okay, back to the workout. Did I mention that prior to the WOD we had like a mini-strength WOD?
Ten turkish get-ups on each side, then walk 200 meters for the farmer's carry and 200 for the waiter's carry.

This was also painful and my forearms throb as I type right now. I have a feeling by tomorrow they will be immobile. I know this because after the workout I stopped at Whole Foods to get a pizza (a healthy pizza with pepperoni, spinach and mushrooms) and had a hard time carrying the pizza out.

Between today's workout and yesterday we all took a beating. Yesterday we did 10 hand-stand pushups, 20 pull-ups, 30 box jumps, 40 kettlebell swings, 50 sit-ups and the 400 meter run. Then when you got back you did everything again, except in reverse, starting with the 50 sit-ups.

It was so bad that Derek said he wasn't coming back on Tuesday and he wasn't joking. I'm not sure why I did. I'm in that cycle of abuse, I just can't break it. It's like battered wife syndrome.

Yeah I know, so far in one blog posting I've compared Bump to Satan and Ike Turner. I can't help it, I'm mentally fatigued and I'm blog rambling.

All I know is my shower tonight is going to feel great. Take care, it's time to pass out in the bathroom.

Later,

Rod

My Mental Prep Routine

2011-11-29T14:10:00.001-08:00

Just read the RFM post about the "Mental Approach to Crossfit." Not bad.

My personal approach is as follows, here's the Pre-workout first:

- Look at the WOD board to see if it changed since I saw it online last night.
- Look at the times/weights/reps that people in the earlier classes did before me and either laugh or cry
- Curse and swear at myself for not sticking to my Paleo diet

Warm-up

- Mentally scream "I hate stretching" to myself so I can block out the physical pain
- Think positive, "No long distance bear crawls please, YES!!!"
- Sniff myself to see if I brought fresh workout clothes.

Strength Workout

- Set goals. Lift more than Marcus, lift at least half as much as Ikaika, make sure Kehau doesn't work out with me otherwise she will lift as much or more weight.

WOD

- Try to think some strategy. Should I go all out, conserve my strength during certain movements, trip Derek, etc?
- Tell Kehau to change that damn music.
- Position myself behind another person so that Bumper cannot see my lack of form.

Post - WOD

- lie down
- drool
- steal someone's water
- try to scare the 6 p.m. class as much as possible on the way out.

Gary and Ikaika hit some milestones today

2011-11-23T23:46:00.001-08:00

So this week I'm house sitting for my cousin who lives like two minutes from the gym, or the "box" as Erin likes to call it. Might have to steal that one from you Erin. Anyway, today I was totally into the Duke/Kansas game and sorta lost track of time.

Then Kehau texted me and called me a slacker and I noticed that it was 5 p.m. already. Oops.

But I remembered, hey, I'm not going back to Paia, I can just cruise and go to the 6 p.m. Which I never do.

So first thing I get there and Ikaika is there already and talking about not feeling it for the deadlifts tonight. I can relate.

Remember that last post about fear? Well you don't have to be injured to experience it. You can come close. Last time I tried for a personal best for deadlifts I stalled at 360. I wasn't feeling even close to that tonight.

Anyway Ikaika, Marcus and I jump on one bar after Oran proceeds to point out all the bad habits of those damn 5 o'clockers. Ha, for once I knew he wasn't talking about me because I wasn't there! But Oran is the man when it comes to technique and I took heed. Bar over the shoelaces, fully engaged back, got it.

So we warm up with 135 and then Ikaika says let's jump up to 225 which was okay. Then he went 315 and I was kinda like, okaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy. Marcus didn't flinch though so I just shut up and grabbed the bar. Damn thing almost slipped out of my hand. But I cranked out a rep or two.

Then he hit 405 and I was like crap, no way. I chalked up and bent over and tried it. Nope. Not even an inch off the ground. I was happy to say Marcus couldn't do it either. I was like, "YES". Hey, what can I say? Misery loves company.

Ikaika does it of course then throws on 430. Son of a bitch. He did it and it was scary. I thought his spine was going to snap. Kudos brah, that looked kinda nuts.

So now me and Marcus have to find our one rep max. I figure screw it, try 365 so I have the chance to break my own personal best at least.

I go first and damn, about half way up it felt like I was entering another dimension. Seriously. My vision started blurring on the sides and I heard the Twilight Zone theme music start playing. But I went up with the weight and stood up straight. Back and shoulder muscles engaged and legs trembling.

I told Marcus about the other dimensional feeling and he laughed. After he did his rep he looked at me and pointed and said, "I know EXACTLY what you're talking about." Yeah dude, it's sort of like you're high. Not that I know anything about that sort of thing, I was *ahem* just agreeing with Marcus.

Then there was the WOD, 15 dumbbell hang cleans, 40 double unders, 10 hc's, 40 du's, 5 hc's, 40 du's. For time of course.

I was going to grab the 40 pound dumbbells but damn it, someone took all of them so I had to grab the 35's. Seriously though, if I had known Kehau was going to do 35's I would have done 40's. Curses, she's foiled me again! (Twirl the moustache)

Also I finally think I've found out the secret of double unders. It's called, "jumping." Yes indeedy, it appears I've been extremely lazy and not wanting to jump high enough so that I have enough time to allow the rope to go under me twice. It just seems like a lot of energy wasted. As a result of that realization and Lori's awesome jump rope I had a good time (for me) although I forgot what it was. A little more than 6 minutes I think.

And then at the end of the night as I was going home, Gary tells me, "Hey Rod, I just made one year today." What? That's huge! Gary made one year at RFM!!! We should be putting his picture on the website! I asked him why he didn't say anything and he tells me, "I just did" and then smiled.

Typical Gary. Good job man and happy 1 year anniversary.

And Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I'm thankful for my friends at RFM and the little family we have in and out of the gym. Take care everybody. Tomorrow I call my son, eat and watch football. In that order.

Peace!

Rod

What kind of RFMer are you?

2011-11-23T01:20:00.001-08:00

So someone was mentioning that there was a Crossfit gym website that posted some funny videos. I checked it out and yes indeed, Crossfit Oahu has some funny stuff.

They've compiled some videos of some stereotypical Crossfitters, the talker, the guy who posts fake times, the sloppy technique guy, Mr. Sweats a lot, etc.

Amusing, yes indeedy. But somewhat generic. Plus some of that stuff doesn't happen at RFM. C'mon, time cheaters? Everyone is proud of their time, even though it may suck.

Chalk whores? Nah. Kehau is the closest thing we have but she actually suffers from chalk hatred, made obvious by the 12 times that she's kicked over the chalk bucket in frustration and anger.

No, here at RFM, we are nothing if not unique. And we have some originals here who defy the stereotypes.

They include:

Stiff Necked Fools - You know who you are. We have trouble doing power cleans because our wrists hurt when we bend them, our backs give out before our muscles do and squatting all the way down is just a pipe dream. Oh yes, foam rollers are not our friends.

Wait to see the Weight - Those of us who lie in wait, to see which weights our friends will use for the WOD, and then go 2 and a half pounds more, just to say we lifted more than they did. Sometimes we go 2 and a half pounds less just so we can have more reps.

Restroom Tyrants - It's 5:59 p.m. and the 6 p.m. class is waiting for us, yet you feel the need to use the bathroom seven times before you start the WOD. It's not just Lori by the way.

Music Miscreants - You ask me to do 5 rounds of deadlifts, thrusters and burpees while you play Enya. Please go to hell and take your iPhone with you.

Female Furies - This I think is found only at RFM. Lori pushes you around and mocks you for doing less weight than she does, Kehau pretends to give you friendly advice about your form and then whispers to Bumper "This is why he sucks", Carol scares the crap out of you with her Marine Corps Drill Sgt. screams and Kristi sends intimidating sonic booms whenever she stomps her feet while powerlifting. Then every once in a while they give me a foam roller so they can laugh their asses off. Very funny mofos.

The Cheerleaders - They're always yelling "good job" as they pass you by on the 400 meter run when what they really mean is "Good job falling behind. Fag." I know what you're thinking. I see it in your eyes.

See, this list is much more honest. Give me a video camera, I'll start our own video series.

By the way, shuttle runs, sit-ups and Superman's made up Tuesday's workout. No squats. That's all I have to say, which means I had a good day and won't have to crawl out of bed tomorrow.

And with that, I say peace everybody,

Rod

Some real progress

2011-11-22T10:47:00.001-08:00

I think everyone here knows Erin's story, but I'll post it again here for my two non-RFM blog readers just in case.

Erin joined RFM earlier this year while we were still at the old gym location on Mill Street. I had hardly gotten to know her when she was gone. Turns out she fell and broke her collarbone while doing the warm up lap one evening.

Ouch. When I heard the news I thought, "Oh well, guess we'll never see her again."

Wrong. As soon as she was healed up she came back like nothing happened. Now I don't know about you but a broken collarbone is nothing to laugh at. NFL football players are out for a whole season because of broken collarbones. Erin's got some sort of mutant healing factor or something.

Anyway the reason why I'm bringing up her story now is because I saw on her Facebook page last night that she did a handstand push-up for the first time since the accident. That's huge. Big props.

(NOTE: Erin told me later that she actually did a HANDSTAND, not a handstand push-up. It's still a great accomplishment though.)

See I've been injured, and after you're injured you start to favor that injured part of your body like it's your child. You don't want it getting hurt again and there's psychological barriers sometimes even after the physical scars heal.

Like I was scared for a long time to ever bench again after tearing my pectoral. And like how I didn't body board for a whole year after smashing my face into the reef. And like how I was freaked out the first time someone went for my face during sparring after a black belt elbowed my nose and broke it so badly it was a roughly 90 degree angle from it's original position.

But I digress. Needless to say I know about the fear, and if Erin broke her collarbone then she's probably had some fear about any sort of shoulder movement. It just comes with the territory.

So kudos to her and everyone else that works through their fear. It's not like how I bitch about sore muscles, a stiff back or exhausted legs. The fear is a more serious problem, at least I think it is. Like I don't ever know if I'll even want to try 275 ever again, which was the weight that I tore my pec with so long ago.

But maybe I will. Because before RFM I never even thought that I would bench again. It's funny, Bump was one of the fastest guys in high school but his mantra now is for all of his gym members to go slow and steady, which is fine by me. It's a good way to avoid injury. And the FEAR.

On another note. Anyone need a 10:30 a.m. slot for the Warrior Dash? My friend Eric paid for a spot but realized too late that the race was going to happen AFTER he left Hawaii. (See what happens when you don't check with your wife about the reservations?)

So rather than let his 50 bucks go to waste does anyone want to have the slot and pay him? I'll make the necessary arrangements, contact administrators, etc. I guess we can just get a refund but it seems like more and more RFMer's are signing up for the run every week so I thought I'd check.

Let me know.

Oh yeah, the WOD. Ten kettlebell swings, 10 lunges with weight and 10 box jumps. Thank you Kats for suggesting the 44 pound kettlebell. Five rounds and I was done.

Peace out homies.

Rod

Warrior Dashin

2011-11-16T08:37:00.001-08:00

So I'm in. I'm doin the Warrior Dash come March.

Wondering what it is? It's a race. 3.1 miles of some funky obstacle course craziness.

When I was working on Oahu as a reporter we always covered the event, or at least sent out a photographer or cameraman out to it. Good visuals. How can you go wrong with:

- people slogging through mud
- crawling under barbed wire
- climbing over walls
- jumping over fire

That last one is a new obstacle, I don't remember seeing video of any sort of fire pictures during past events but there it is. As a confirmed pyromaniac I love fire but the klutz in me is afraid of stumbling and falling into a pile of burning coals. Straub Medical Center has an excellent burn unit at least.

Anyway, heading down to the event with me is the man who first got me started in Crossfit back in Albuquerque, New Mexico, my buddy Eric Johnson. Eric is a Colonel in the Air Force and works for the Pentagon. He just got back from Afghanistan and is stoked to come out to Maui for a vacation in March. When I realized that Warrior Dash was happening in the middle of his trip I figured he would want to go. Should be pretty sweet.

I know the rest of the RFM crew will be staying at some crazy beach house on the North Shore but it sounds pretty crowded already. I've got a buddy that lives in Kailua that has a couple of spare rooms and a fully stocked liquor cabinet. We'll probably crash there to save money and maybe even try to fly Mokulele Airlines for their cheap $68 fares.

March looks like fun. Unlike yesterday's workout.

It actually wasn't so bad except for a couple of glitches. We worked the foam rollers for mobility and that hurt. I've done it a couple of times before and it's pretty painful. I'm trying to search for the words to explain how it feels in writing but I'm coming up short. Let's just say there was screaming involved. What can I say, my thighs are tender.

Then we had four rounds of 20 second squats, sit-ups then push-ups. Ten seconds rest between each 20 second round. The only thing was that when you rested between squat rounds you had to do it with your knees bent and holding your half-way down squat position, so it really wasn't rest. Damn you Kristi for that alteration.

I knew the squats would suck but I was hoping for 60 each from push-ups and sit-ups at least. I forgot what was total was but it was one more rep than Kats. Ah well.

Okay gang, not sure if I'm going to make it to RFM today, got some after work bizness to take care of today.

Later,

Rod

What'd you say Val?

2011-11-15T00:24:00.001-08:00

Do you know Val? She's a very sweet woman. She works out at our gym and always has a smile on her face and kind word on her lips.

Which is probably why I kind of blinked twice when she told me today, "If my daughter comes home for break and gets a go-go dancing gig, do you think the gym will go support her?"

Now, it's not often that someone confuses me, intrigues me and shocks me at the same time. I've heard it all but this was a first.

In fact why don't we break down the sentence to explain what surprised me so.

1) You have a daughter that go-go dances.

2) You're not only okay with it the go-go dancing but you'd like your friends to go watch her if she lands a gig here on Maui during her Christmas break.

3) Although Kristi and Bumper are owners of the gym and usually the social event organizers for our little RFM family, you came to talk to ME about this potential outing.

My responses to these three points are:

1) You have a cool daughter.

2) You are a cool mother.

3) You are a wise woman who recognizes the marketing power of the I Hate Cardio blog.

OF COURSE we will come to support your daughter. Watercrest is a fine establishment and boasts a delicious pupu menu. It is also located close by the gym so it will be easy for us to head down there after a Friday workout. Just let us know the time and place.

Now, let's talk workout.

Gotta give props to D.Meyer for telling me to adjust my footing during squats. For the last two weeks my knee felt like it was popping out of my socket. Today I rotated my left foot a little and boom! No pain. Well except the pain of heavy squats. Which sucked.

Also I believe I've reached the end of my endurance for shoulder press. I don't think I can do 150 pounds, which is my next progression. I'm thinking deload week soon here.

Today's WOD, seven rounds of seven reps each of wall-balls and pull-ups, followed by a 200 meter run.

I slacked hard today. Used the 10 pound ball and ran like a slug during the 200 meter. Pull-ups were okay but I was slow during those too.

Derek and Marcus hit it hard and were done before I finished my sixth round.

I need to get it going again. But I need some sort of motivation. Maybe to be in top shape for the Warrior Dash?

It's coming up in March and it looks like Marcus and Ken are my running mates from RFM.

A good crew that I will probably not be able to keep up with for long. Maybe I should be training hard for that.

Whatever. If you find my motivation, let me know where it is.

I need it. Badly.

Later crew,

Rod

I hate cardio but I love ice cream

2011-11-09T23:02:00.000-08:00

Remember drumstick ice cream cones?

Well those crafty ice cream makers came out with new ones, with different kinds of filling.

You can buy a box and they have drumsticks with caramel and chocolate oozing in the middle once you take a bite. There's even one made out of chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla.

How do I know? Because hungry fat bastard that I am, I bought some.

Yup. So much for the paleo diet. Sheesh.

My gut grows then it shrinks then it grows again. Oh man.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Ok. Start now.

No more starch, sugar or dairy. Nope.

There, that was easy.

Now then, my legs friggin hurt.

All we've been doing is air squats and they still hurt. Yesterday was "Cindy", which was 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups and 15 air squats. After you do three rounds of that you run 200 meters.

Sounds okay right. Oh wait, did I mention that after you do the first three rounder you keep going? Yup. Just keep on going until the time expires. Ugh.

I flew through the pull-ups and push-ups but those squats were a burner. After the workout Lori tells me, "Oh those squats were the easiest part!"

Yeah, if you have legs like the Hulk and are only a flower plant from the ground then it's easy. Don't talk to me about squats Lori. The sight of you zipping up and down at light speed drove me nuts Tuesday.

Today's workout didn't look too bad either but it was frustrating. Five power cleans then 30 double unders.

The five power cleans were cake but the double unders took forever. Kehau took pity on me and loaned me her most excellent jump rope which helped me considerably. I'm going to have to get one for myself. It sort of made a difference. Instead of doing one and two and three double unders I did four and five and eight.

Yeah, gonna have to get one.

Just checked eBay and there's all kinds of stuff, leather ones for 8 bucks and more expensive Crossfit gear for $25. Gary said he got a pretty cool cable one for $15.

There's even a cool looking "Muay Thai" jump rope for $14. Yeah.

It's hard to buy something without trying it first though. Maybe a trip to Sports Authority is in order.

Whoa! Digital "ropeless" jump rope! Perfect! No more tripping on the ropes!

Ah well, I'll figure it out.

One last thing. A bunch of the RFMers are heading over to Oahu for the "Warrior Dash" in March. It's a crazy race involving crawling through the mud, jumping over fire and climbing ropes over walls.

Sweet, where do I sign up?

Late,

Rod

UPDATE*******************************

All the 9 a.m. slots are filled for the Warrior Dash. Anybody going to enter the 9:30 race from RFM? Anyone? Anyone? Who wants in on the 9:30 a.m. I Hate Cardio team? Let me know, I ain't running without some backup in my heat.

Don't call it a comeback (seriously, don't)

2011-11-07T21:57:00.000-08:00

You might have noticed that this blog has not been updated for a while. And if you workout at RFM you might have noticed that I haven't been in for a while.

Well I had a legit reason which I can explain with this equation: work + illness = zombie.

Yeah, I went to work sick, tried to work from home while I was sick and then went to work when I thought I wasn't sick anymore and made it worse.

All of this took place over the course of two weeks. Needless to say Crossfit was sort of the last thing on my mind.

But I finally made it back on Friday and surprise surprise, it sucked. Back squats felt EXTRA heavy and I was supposed to be doing 250 pounds. WTF ever. Not. I dropped down to 225 and that felt like a million pounds. The WOD wasn't that bad, run 200 meters, 3 squat cleans, 5 push presses and as many sit ups as you can do in whatever time is remaining with the 2 minutes and 30 seconds that they give you. Three rounds. My abs hurt like hell all weekend but it felt good to finally get back in there.

Then I came back today, Monday, and had to face the back squats again. I told Marcus that it felt like I was on another planet where the gravity was greater. I dropped down again to 185 and barely cranked out 8 reps.

You know, for a while there I was doing okay on the squats. My reps were low but I kept on adding 5 pounds every workout like we were supposed to and I cranked out five reps at least. It's hard to get all that work back now, feels like I have to start all over again.

Maybe that's why I was determined not to embarrass myself on the WOD. Today was run 400 meters and come back and do 30 shoulder to overhead presses and then run the 400 again.

The trick was, if you put your bar down at all you had to do burpees. Thank God Kehau said we could rest the bar behind our necks, otherwise I think I would have been screwed.

So I threw on 115 and we got ready to run. Marcus and Alex zoomed ahead and I was in third but tried not to fall behind too much. Then we got back to the gym and it was time to lift. I pumped out about 8, had to rest behind the neck then cranked out another five reps. More rest behind the neck then five more and more rest. After that I think I only had enough strength for two reps before I went behind the neck again each time.

It was kind of a blur but I hit 30 and not once did I put it down and do burpees. (HAH!!! I SPIT IN YOUR EYE IN DEFIANCE BURPEE GODS!!! I DEFY YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!)

Anyway I ran out and it felt like I was running with football shoulder pads because my delts were so stiff and swollen. About halfway to the 200 meter mark I thought I heard footsteps and I ran a little faster. I thought to myself, "Marcus, that bastard."

Marcus is a young man who can still drink all day and Crossfit all evening. He's strong and fast and I knew he was catching up, even without looking behind me. I got to the halfway mark and sure enough, he had caught up and then passed me on the way back.

I kept up behind him and then foolishly started running faster, trying to match his speed. I think I caught him off guard because he actually let me run with him for a while, then accelerated. I kept running with him until the turn into the parking lot and I lost whatever it was that kept me going. I was gassed. I walked the last several meters and came in around 6:02 or something.

I told Marcus later that I should have just kept on running behind him and "drafted" him, like Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder, then pull out with a blast of speed at the end.

I'll be the first to say I can't run with the young ones anymore, but it feels good to push every once in a while. It did feel good to see the surprise on Marcus' face as I tried to pass him.

Not as good as it felt NOT to do burpees of course. Ha.

On another note.

Whatever I did to lose that weight prior to Vegas in August is something I need to do again. Not sure where I got the self discipline but I did it. Need to reach deep down inside and . . . just do it. It's not hard. It's not like I'm fighting a heroin addiction.

Water. Vegetables. Protein. That's all I need.

Right?

Right.

Outta here gang, good to be back. Later.

Rod

UPDATE**************

How could I forget? Kehau is NOT Maui's strongest woman anymore. What the hell? I get sick and she competes and doesn't win? Do you know what this means for my blog? No more teasing her that she's a mutant Samoan/Tongan hybrid who is stronger than the normal human woman (or man for that matter). Actually from what I understand the contest ended in a tie and Kehau conceded rather than be late for the Barbells for Boobs fundraiser. What a girl. So in her honor I will continue to refer to her as Maui's strongest woman. After all, Kats did dress up as Tehau for Halloween. We cannot let her alter-ego die. Tehau must live on even though Kehau fell short. KIDDING. don't hurt me please

Don't let 'em fool ya

2011-10-20T00:31:00.000-07:00

So, we had two back to back workouts which totally surprised me.
The first because it didn't look that bad but totally wiped me out. I'm talking about mini-Hiroshima.
The second because it looked like hell but then wasn't actually that bad.
I know, weird right?
So let's start with Tuesday. The WOD was 20-15-10-5 reps of pull-ups, sit-ups, push-ups and air squats. No weight and no running and barely any legs. I mean, even I can do air squats.
So everybody is thinking they're going to blaze through this. Plus Kristi pairs me up with a new guy, Steve, so I'm thinking I gotta do real good to show the rookie how it's done.
So Steve goes first and he's doing good. Does the first 10 pull-ups then switches to the rings. I'm trying to be a good partner, I set up his sit-up mat and I'm counting all his reps. I'm also trying to be supportive and yelling at him, you know, "C'mon Steve let's go" and that sort of thing. Of course the next day Kristi tells me that this was the guy's first day and that he had knee problems etc etc. I didn't know that, geez. I figured if he was in the regular class he was all done with Elements and that I was supposed to be pushing him. I was sorta in Fight Gone Bad mode but it's all programmed into us by now.
Anyway I'm getting sidetracked. So Steve does his thing and he does well I thought. So now it's my turn.
The clock hits zero and I start pull-ups. The first 10 are easy and the second 10 are a little harder but I make it through. I blaze through sit-ups and push-ups and do relatively well at air squats but then I realize that after that, 15 reps is still a lot.
The second round goes by MUCH slower as far as pull-ups go. I still hit the sit-ups and push-ups fairly quickly and the air squats too. Then the 10 rep round and I'm hurtin. Arms barely going up and down and it takes forever to get my pull-ups done. Steve's trying to say some words of encouragement but I couldn't hear him. I jump down and start the sit-ups and I'm literally farting to get those done but I don't care that I'm ripping toots left and right by then. The push-ups are tough and I have to rest a couple of times. Air squats suck and then it's the five rep round. I have to use rubber bands for the last five pull-ups and the rest of it was just a blur.
Afterwards I was rolling on the ground and looking for air, as if it was a small penny and somewhere on the floor. It must have been because oxygen didn't seem to be in the air I was breathing. I thought this is what it must be like when a semi-truck hits you and you're lying down on the side of the road waiting for someone to call 911. Derrick was winded too and I know Ikaika was somewhere nursing bleeding hands. The workout only lasted 5 to 10 minutes but afterwards it was like we had all stepped on a land mine and were looking around for our body parts.
Then comes Wednesday.
On the board I see the barbell complex that I had done once before. Power clean + front squat + push press + back squat + push press = one rep. We had to do three rounds of five reps with jump rope double-unders to end the complex with.
This looked terrible. I slapped on 95 pounds and expected the worst. But it wasn't that bad. I mean, yeah, my double-unders sucked but overall the complex didn't kill me like Tuesday's workout did. I'm sure a wiser person would have some sort of moral of the story at this point but the only thing I know is that my body doesn't hurt from the complex but my left arm STILL hurts from those pull-ups. Damn. By the way Steve if someone shows you this blog just know that I wasn't trying to kill you. At RFM that's how we show we care.
Have a good rest day gang, peace,

Rod

So many ways to hurt you

2011-10-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

I realized something the other day, as I was out of breath and drooling on the gym floor, hoping that the burning in my legs would stop.

Crossfit workouts almost never generate the same kind of pain twice.

Did you ever notice that? There are all kinds of ways to suffer, take for example Wednesday's workout.

The workout was 50 thrusters, 40 double unders, 30 kettlebell swings, 20 lunges with weight and 10 burpees.

Obviously this was going to be hard. I prepared myself to suffer greatly.

But man, it was a different kind of pain. My legs felt like they were on fire and I felt like I was going to throw up.

This was different from Monday's workout, when my legs felt numb and refused to bend after the second front squat set.

As I sit here I'm trying to recall all the different ways that I've suffered at RFM. Let's see . . .

- there's crippling back pain
- burning leg pain
- numbing leg pain
- burning lungs
- nauseous stomach/puking
- trembling forearms
- wasted shoulder muscles
- unable to make a fist because of too many pull-ups, farmer carries, etc

Looking over my past blog entries I found more descriptions

- sore wrists from bending your hands backwards for front squats
- "Crossfit Amnesia", when you're so exhausted you forget to count your reps
- the special pain you get from using the rollers for the first time

Ah yes, memories.

By the way, I got stopped by another blog fan who is NOT an RFM member. In fact, he was never an RFM member! Unreal. Thanks Gino.

So Gino works at the County building in Public Works and says he's been reading my blog because he's interested in Crossfit and was doing some research. He says he drives by RFM every once in a while and sees us train but hasn't joined.

WHAT'S WRONG GINO??? We don't bite, I mean, Lori may hit you occasionally and Kehau may push your car and Patty may try to smack you in the face with a basketball but otherwise we're all pretty harmless. The guys anyway. The chicks are kinda intense so just stay out of their way.

Alright guys, see you at the Friday workout,

Rod

Bump ain't messin around

2011-10-11T02:58:00.000-07:00

You know, I got to a point here at RFM where I just figured that any workout is doable so long as you just keep on going. Just don't give up.

But today was NOT one of those days. Good God.

Today we did four rounds of five power cleans, five push presses and five front squats.

The kicker was that every minute we did five burpees too.

The first round sucked. The second round I barely finished in time before having to do the burpees. The third round took a minute for each set of five.

It was impossible to catch up once you got tired. How the hell Ikaika did that WOD in four minutes AND use 115 lbs (I used 95 lbs) is a freaking unreal accomplishment. Actually now that I think about it you almost HAD to do that workout really fast and get it over with before the burpees start sucking the life out of you.

The defining moment of the day was when Ken, who is a pretty good athlete, laid down on the ground and yelled, "I can't feel my legs!"

If anyone knows Ken you know he's not the type of guy to scream. He barely talks. But I think for him it was round two or three when his body came to a grinding halt.

For me it was round three, just as I was about to do the front squats. I just couldn't do it. My legs would not go down for more squats. I quit before I even started the fourth round. It. Was. Not. Happening.

I was impressed with Ken though, because after he screamed he finished all four rounds. Later on he told me that in order to do that he didn't do any more burpees.

Eliminate burpees, what a great idea. Wish I had thought of that. Seriously though, that was a painful lesson in reality. I definitely did not plan that very well.

That's it. I'm going to have to do something drastic. Like . . . ask for more burpees and thrusters after our regular workout.

I know, I should change the name of this blog to "I hate myself" if I'm going to put myself through something like that. It's like Vegas all over again, except instead of extra cardio I'm asking for extra conditioning against pain. It's the only way I'm going to get better at this.

You're thinking, Rod, are you insane? More burpees and thrusters?

Attack your weaknesses right?

How much do you think I'm going to hate myself tomorrow? I'm thinking a lot.

Later gang,

Rod

Another Whole 30 . . . or something like that

2011-10-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

Today I start eating properly again. Yesterday was filled with Taco Bell, ice cream and Home Maid bakery goodies in preparation for this day.

But this is not the original Whole 30 paleo diet. I still plan on having a beer. Or two. It is October and there is football, Halloween, birthday parties and various other celebrations and libations to partake of out there.

Speaking of which, I had a good time at the First Friday last week. It was fun and mellow at the same time with my fellow RFMer's. Kehau, Patty and Ikaika and I hung out. We ate and drank and just talked as we walked around Market Street. The subjects were varied and included:

- Why Rainbow Park is the scariest of all parks on Maui
- How people get down and let loose at Miki's house
- Why Friday night's workout really sucked

Yes, I was pleased to note that Ikaika and I both had the same problem with the Seventh Heaven workout, which was 7 overhead squats followed by 7 burpees for 7 rounds.

Did we mention we did back squats prior to the workout? Is anyone surprised? Of course not.

Ikaika's back was hurting so he did front squats instead of overhead squats but still, the result was the same.

We both finished the first round of overhead and did our first rep of burpees and then fell down.

Seriously. My legs just gave out. And when I mean they gave out I mean my leg muscles turned into solid lead.

Again, this was on the first rep of the first round. Only had 48 more reps to go.

I don't know about Ikaika but at the time the only thing going through my mind was, "Really?"

I'm not sure how I made it through that workout. I just gritted my teeth and squatted, then tried to do something that barely resembled a proper burpee.

So you know how a burpee is supposed to look like right? You squat, get into plank position and do a push up, then get back into squat position and jump back up.

Well mine looked like this instead:

- I had a seizure and collapsed
- After drooling on the floor I became intoxicated and attempted to stand
- Once upright (somewhat) I tried to jump over an invisible credit card and failed

Somehow I made it through, showered and came back to Wailuku and met the gang for First Friday. Walking around with my RFMers and shooting the breeze afterwards took my mind off the pain. We drank a little and ate some cheap thai food and I bought the greasiest, grossest, most disgusting bibinka I have ever eaten.

Another reason why I'm going on paleo. Whatever works to motivate you right?

Hope to see you all at the next First Friday. Maybe a Fourth Friday excursion to Paia? Anyone?

Later gang,

Rod

Ikaika gives up and I praise God, running scared and how Kehau improves my ratings

2011-10-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday we had a funky workout day. For strength we practiced clean and jerks and then for the WOD we were supposed to do "one C&R the first minute, two C&R's the second minute, three the third minute" and so on and so forth.

Foolishly I fell into the RFM trap and thought, "Eh, that's not bad, right?"

Yeah, I know. When will I learn? Obviously never.

So if you don't know what a clean and jerk is, it's this. You power clean it to your shoulders from the floor then jerk it up above your head. Two step motion but you can generate a lot of power and lift some serious weight with it.

Ikaika and I got up to 115 lbs during practice and when the WOD came around he jumped to 135 lbs. I considered this for like a whole minute then chickened out. Lucky me.

We start the WOD and yeah, it was easy. In the beginning.

Then we hit four C&R's and you start noticing that the minute keeps getting shorter and shorter. By the time we hit seven there was two seconds left before we had to start on round 8.

I was not feeling it but I figured there was no way I could give up if Ikaika was going to do round 8 too AND had 20 pounds more than I did on the bar. But then from behind me I heard him throw down his weight and say the magic words.

"I'm done."

I was freakin estatic. I had picked up my bar in anticipation of the eighth round and threw it down too.

So that was Tuesday.

Then Wednesday we had a really basic WOD. Run 400 meters, do descending reps of push-ups (21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3) and then the reverse ascending order for sit-ups, then run another 400 meters.

Looking up at the chart I knew that in the past I've done two sets of 20 push-ups without resting so hopefully I could get the 21 and 18 rep sets out of the way fast. I looked around and saw that my only competition was Derek who already told me that he would rather do burpees than push-ups. Crazy talk. Of course I would have to keep my eye out for Kehau too.

Mostly I was worried about the ending 400 meter run. I was imagining that even if I finished the push-ups and sit-ups ahead of Derek, unless I was already coming back for my last 200 meters that bastard would catch up and pass me. It's funny, in a lot of ways Derek and I are opposites of each other when it comes to our Crossfit strengths and weaknesses. Today I was going to have to exploit his weakness and make sure that he didn't have enough time to take advantage of mine.

Anyway, we started the WOD and sure enough, mostly everyone runs off ahead of me. But when I got back to the gym I blazed through the 21 push-ups, did the 3 sit-ups and then blazed through 18 more push-ups.

After that I looked around and was pretty sure I was ahead of everyone. Now I just had to power through and keep up the pace. Having Kehau workout next to me was a good motivator because she kept on blazing through the sit-ups and I knew if I didn't watch out that she'd catch up eventually.

For a while I just shut my eyes and kept going. Those last 21 sit-ups took forever though and I was actually happy to get up and run the 400.

I was first out of the gym but kept on expecting to hear footsteps and feel a "whoosh" of wind and see Derek sprint past. I looked back once but didn't see him. It wasn't until I hit the half way mark and was heading back that I saw him coming up the street and felt the fear.

Because let's face it, he's that fast and I'm that slow.

I didn't have quite enough in me to sprint all out at that point but I think I got up to 70 percent. Even when I was turning the corner to run back into our parking lot I still had to turn around to see if he was behind me.

I hit the gym at 10:20 and sure enough, Derek came sprinting in afterwards not too far behind.

All I gotta say is, "Whew."

And finally . . . I've noticed that nobody posts any comments UNLESS I mention Kehau in my blog.

Or more specifically, unless I somehow tease or mock Kehau in my blog.

C'mon guys, seriously? Are you all just a bunch of high school kids waiting for your friend to tease some poor soul? I'm offended.

Well the joke is on YOU!!! I'm going to mock everyone else at RMF today. Ha. See how you like it.

Here we go, mostly I'm going to stick to the people I see at 5 and 6. Some personal slap-downs for each one of you:

- Derek: Kehau is stronger than you

- Ikaika: Kehau is stronger than you and has more hair

- Carol: You scare me when you yell

- Rikki: Your damn pink shoes blind me

- Bumper: I still think about your high school mullet

- Craig: Your wife is stronger than you

- Nalani: You are stronger than your husband

- Bob: You're not going to read this so I'm not going to waste my time

- Gary: Ditto

- Kalaheo: You look like you have neck injuries

- Kristi: I still think about your fiance's mullet

- Patty: I thought Alex was your brother.

- Alex: I think about your high school mullet.

- Oran: You're hairy. Don't arrest me.

- Heidi: Um, you're . . tall . . .

- Val: Uhhhh . . .

- Glenn: Um . . . your . . . gray colored Innovates are . . . boring

- Lori: Kehau is . . . actually I'm not sure who's stronger

- Kats: Your name is Kats

See Kehau, I'm not all about teasing you. Now give me the keys so I can open up at 4:30.

Thanks!

Rod

Let me be the keymaster

2011-10-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

Because I start work early and because my office is in Wailuku, I usually get to RFM first. Say at around 4:35 p.m. (barring late meetings of course).

That said, it only makes sense that I have a key to the gym. No?

I could open it up early, let everybody change clothes and stretch and be ready for the coach when he or she wants to start the warm-up promptly at 5 p.m.

Plus no outsiders are going to want to come and harass me if I'm at the gym alone. I'm just not harassable. Plus even if they do come by I'll scare them away with the following key phrases:

"Wanna join the gym? No? Then get the hell out."

"Sure you can stay but I'm working out nude. That way I can focus on my technique."

"The gym has helped me become much more stable. I haven't had a psychotropic episode in months."

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

It'll work, trust me.

Make me keymaster!

Rod

Handstand Reality Check

2011-09-29T00:10:00.000-07:00

Wow.

You know, you think you're good at something and then . . .

Today's WOD was 21, 15, 9 reps of handstand pushups and kettlebell squats.

I've said it over and over again about how handstand pushups are my thing. But 21 reps of anything is . . . tough.

I hit 15 and then had to do 2 at a time. Then when 15 came up I was doing something like 2 or 1 at a time.

The shoulders were shot. Doing shoulder presses for strength didn't help either but that's how we roll at RFM.

I wasn't even phased by the KB squats. I couldn't even believe it. I felt like my body betrayed me.

Ikaika was like, "See? What did I tell you? HSPU's were killer today."

Yeah, I gotta admit he was right. That might have been one of the longest first sets that I have ever done. Or as Ikaika put it, I couldn't wait to get off that wall tonight.

Just goes to show you, be careful for what you ask for, you might just get it.

Been a helluva week back gang. I can't wait for till my body gets somewhat reconditioned to RFM soon. This week off has been brutal trying to get back.

In the meantime, I've finally gotten those Fight Gone Bad photos off my phone. Here we go . . .

Ah yes, here we are receiving instructions from our fearless leader . . .

I'm sure he's giving out some important instructions, but I was busy taking pics

Did I mention that Rikki was a ham for the camera? Just in case you didn't notice

Got the stairway shot of Kristi demonstrating wall balls, which were the most hated station

Here's Val jumping. As you can tell my cell phone camera doesn't do so well with motion

I think this is . . . who the hell is this?

Okay someone help me out here, she's just too fast for the camera to capture

I can only imagine this conversation, "This is going to suck babe, sorry."

"See, told you."

At this point I finally got smart and waited for them to stop moving before I took a pic. Nice Rikki.

Nalani push pressing

This might be the only real good non-blurry action shot I got

Did manage to catch Shauna at the top of the box jumps, that was cool.

Ah Kats, he loves to smile. Won't be for long though.

See what I mean?

See how busy I am taking pictures? Probably why I missed counting some of Kats' reps

Fight Gone Bad. Hate it and love it at the same time. Mostly hate it, especially the wall balls

By the way, props to Carol and Rikki for maintaining their blog. What's up Kehau? You are cardio blog bogging. It's not like pushing a Hyundai you know, you gotta work at it.

Enjoy the pictures gang,

Rod

I have met the enemy and his name is "stairs"

2011-09-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

So, I was sitting here contemplating what today's blog should be about. We just did a WOD consisting of five rounds of a 400 meter run and 15 overhead squats and I was thinking, "You know that kinda sucked but I don't feel too bad right now."

Then I tried to stand up.

HOLY GOD PLEASE MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!!

The above thought flashed through my mind as my quads seized with stabbing pain. Then I tried walking up the stairs to the kitchen and of course the pain was worse.

And as many of you know, the second and third days are worse after a workout. I'm not looking forward to getting out of bed tomorrow.

Squats suck. That's all I gotta say.

Prior to this I was looking over Ikaika's shoulder in order to read the events of the Maui Strong Man competition. Didn't look too bad at first but then I took a closer look to what was posted online when I got home. The competition includes:

- a 50 meter car push, a Hyundai sedan for women and a Honda Ridgeline for men. On a flat surface? Can do.
- a three inch barbell hold, 225 pounds for men. What's a barbell hold? I looked it up online and you hold a weighted bar. I'm not sure how long I could just hold 225. A minute? Thirty seconds? Maybe I'll try tomorrow.
- a Farmer's Walk consisting of carrying 500 pounds for 50 meters. WTH? Five hundred pounds? What are they supposed be carrying? A Volkswagon Beetle?
- A Sandbag Sprint for 100 meters. Guys carry a really awkward looking 200 pound sandbag (I watched the video online) back and forth. Kinda looked like it sucked.
- A one armed barbell lift of 135 pounds. That looked really tricky. Gonna have try that at the gym for sure.
- The stone lift, consisting of lifting a rock weighing around 40 to 600 pounds. Small kine big range for the weight yeah?

As you can tell, I'm interested. I wonder . . .

Gotta think about this, later gang,

Rod

No workout for one week leaves one weak

2011-09-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

A long time ago (as in back in high school) while reading a Muscle and Fitness magazine I read this one line about what it means to skip a workout:

"Think about it like picking up a bag of beans. Missing a workout means you spill all those beans and have to start picking them up all over again."

For years that saying would bounce back and forth in my head over and over again. I thought it was a stupid metaphor to use but it stuck with me for some reason.

Then I started Crossfit and that stupid metaphor made sense. Because now when I miss a RFM workout it feels like I really really effed up somehow. Nevermind that I had to go to Oahu for work. (And no I didn't have time to go to Hard Ass Fitness. And when I say I had no time I meant I was busy sleeping in the hotel room.)

Anyway, today sucked as you can tell. It was my first day back since the Fight Gone Bad workout and eating like crap for two weeks. Here are the highlights:

(1) I did so badly at back squats that Kehau coined a new phrase to describe my lack of intensity which she coined "cardio bogging." She said I had a lot more reps in me even though I was breathing hard and that I should have kept going. Maybe after I get another week under my belt.

(2) Ikaika and I pondered throwing on 115 instead of 105 for the WOD, which was 8 minutes of AMRAP of 4 deadlifts, 3 front squats, 2 push presses and 1 six point burpee. The front squats killed and I thanked the RFM gods above that I kept those extra 10 pounds off.

(3) My hands hurt. My hands never hurt. One of my fingers feels like someone hit it with a hammer. Ow.

On another note, I got Rikki's profile done! I'll send it over to Bump and Kristi and hopefully they can give it the okay and post it. Who wants to be next?

Actually I'll post my own bio here so that you folks can see the format. Plus I think if you see that I'm mostly harmless you'll all start to send me your info, right? Here goes:

Name: Rod “No Squats” Antone

Occupation: I write sometimes

Hails From: Paia, Maui then Boulder, Colorado then Honolulu, Oahu then Yakima, Washington then Albuquerque, New Mexico then Budapest, Hungary (six weeks) then back to sweet old Paia, Maui 20 years later.

Likes To: Spend time with his son Rylen, now aged 6, when he is here visiting from the mainland. Also a Netflix addict and professional Oakland Raiders fan.

Favorite Workout: Anything that does not involve the lower body.

Unfavorite Workout: Thrusters and burpees and wall balls. Oh my.

Started at RFM: July 2010 then quit for a month then rejoined in September.

Rod started working out at age 15 when he realized that girls liked muscles. At age 25 he realized weights weren’t enough because it didn’t burn off all the beer he was drinking. He ignored the problem until age 38 when he met Bumper at their class reunion and realized it was now or never.

RFM changed my life. It’s changed my body and my mindset. I’ve drank the Kool-aid and I want more.

Seriously though, I’m not sure where I would be if I had not joined. It’s also forced me to take a look at my diet all of the crap I’ve been digesting over the years. Nowadays I experience bliss just by working out at RFM, taking a shower, then driving back into town with the window down and letting the air cool me off. There’s nothing like it.

Later,

Rod

Fight Gone Bad goes well and why I haven't finished Rikki's profile yet

2011-09-19T20:22:00.000-07:00

This Saturday we held the "Fight Gone Bad" workout at the gym. It was part get together, part fundraiser and part competition all rolled up into one. Lahaina Crossfit was there, Upcountry Crossfit and that other Crossfit in Kahului, I forget what it's called though.

So we all cram into the gym and they do the workout in four heats. The first two are scaled down versions of the workout which goes like this: wall balls, rowing machine, push presses, box jumps and power cleans for a minute each. Three rounds total.

This was actually one of my first workouts at RFM last year. I remember doing the scaled down version and sucking wind.

This time I got to do the regular version. It wasn't until later that I realized this. I'm actually happy about that now. On Saturday I was not.

Going last also sucked but I was in good company. It was Lori, Frank and Jun in my heat along with the Crossfitters from other gyms. We ran two people per station and there was a guy named Adam next to me, getting ready to row. He was a lean dude and looked like he was in good shape so I was sorta worried that he might blow past me.

Thankfully I was prepared to row via a crash course from Kehau. We had done those hard core one minute rows before I went to Vegas and so I had the technique down. I didn't eat anything except breakfast that day because I was afraid I was going to puke up lunch if I ate later.

In other words, I was ready. Or thought so anyway.

And then it started.

I kept on trying to look over to see how many calories Adam was burning but the display was too small. I figured as long as I hit double digits I'd be okay.

From there I went to push presses which was the place that I knew I'd get most of my reps. I had hoped to do 30 per round but I think I might have done 20 to 25 instead. I just couldn't crank out more.

Box jumps sucked of course. I wish I could jump up and down at light speed like Derek. Jun is a stud at this too, guy has serious hops.

Power cleans were actually pretty hard. I thought I'd be repping them out like I did the push presses but I had a hard time making it past 10 reps.

The wall balls just plain sucked. I hate those things almost as much as I do thrusters. Come to think of it, it's the same damn motion as thrusters, we just use a medicine ball instead of weights. Ending the round with wall balls was nothing short of evil. I looked over at that guy Adam and he was blown out too. And that was just the first round.

At some point during the second round all the men in my heat took off our shirts. I needed to breathe better no matter what and I didn't care if anyone got a good look at my flab at that point.

By round three I stopped trying to keep up with Adam. He was ahead of me but I had no idea by how much. I did know that he was kicking my ass in box jumps and power cleans though. I was trying to make up for it with more push presses but my shoulders could only do so much.

When the third round was over I went to the ground. Frank was there already and it made me feel good. Fight Gone Bad had even taken him down.

And then I realized it. I just did the same workout as Frank. Same weights, same rounds, same time. He probably had reps in the 700 range of course while I had 215 but it still made me feel good.

In fact, I think this year's Fight Gone Bad might be the best indicator of how far I've progressed since last year. Sure I've got back problems and squat less than anyone in the gym besides Rocky the dog but otherwise I think I've come a long way.

The best part about it was I had gone home, showered and then went to Whole Foods to get some grub and I saw that guy Adam again. He actually thanked me. He said he kept on pushing himself because I was right there on his ass. I was almost stunned. I asked him was his rep count was and he said 258.

That's only 43 reps more than what I did. Even as I write this I still have a hard time believing it.

So thanks for pushing me too Adam. See you again next year.

Now, on to another matter.

I wanted to do some profiles for our gym members that Bump and Kristi would post on their RFM site. As I write for a living I figured it'd be a piece of cake.

I started with Rikki but had a hard time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong but then I realized, for all my years of writing for news and campaigns and public relations I never wrote anything for friends.

And Rikki was so honest and opened up to her personal reasons for joining RFM that I'm sort of handling her info like it's a fragile piece of glass. I want to do her story justice and I'm afraid that I won't.

I know what you're thinking. "Rod you write a fitness blog that is read by 8 people. Maybe. Why worry about it?"

Yeah well the point is that I still want to do a good job. Plus it's not going on my blog it's going on the RFM blog which actually gets some web traffic. Don't worry, I'll take another crack at it this week.

I've also got some cool pics of Fight Gone Bad but it's on my new phone and for some reason I'm having difficulty downloading. I'll figure it out.

Later gang,

Rod

Push it

2011-09-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we did snatch balances for 10 minutes, doing 2 reps per every minute. It's harder than it sounds, especially when you do Ikaika weight.

I know I know I know, I'm supposed to listen to my own body, let technique be my guide, etc. But when Ikaika slapped on those extra 20 pounds to bump his barbell weight up to 85 pounds I found myself doing the same. I'm a slave, I have no mind of my own, I'm sorry.

That and that crap killed my back. Which then leads me to the other part of this post.

The WOD was simple but sorta killer. Four rounds of running the 400 then coming back and doing 25 kettle bell swings.

I predicted that I would run stiff with my back totally straight and lo and behold, that is what happened.

On the last round though I tried something different. I said to myself that when I got to the halfway point I would rest for a second and walk and see if that loosened up my back, then I would run all out.

It actually worked. Sort of.

I started running fast, not totally all out but definitely not the stiff-backed jog that I was doing the three rounds prior. Not sure what happened, maybe I just needed to run it out all along.

Eventually the stiffness came back and I had to slow down but it was an interesting experiment.

Today I'm looking forward to shoulder presses and deadlifts and farmer carries. Oh my.

It's good training for running through the airport with luggage (see August post about RFM travel benefits).

Later gang,

Rod

The Hana Relay

2011-09-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

So first thing's first. I was early to the Hana Relay.

How early? Like an hour. We were supposed to be at the KMart parking lot at 6 a.m. but I came at 5 a.m. instead.

Don't ask me why, maybe I wasn't listening. Maybe I misunderstood someone. Maybe they covered that part while I was buying Coronas for the team meeting at Sack n Save.

Here's a photo of me waiting in the car at 5 in the morning and realizing that I could have slept for another hour.

I even made my own running t-shirt, it said "Raw Fitness Maui" in the front and "I Hate Cardio" in the back.

To give you a sense of what I was going through I will also include the back and forth text messages between Kehau and I here:

Me: Eh, we meet at kmart at 5 right? Or is it the gym?
K: Kmart 6 am
Me: 6!!!!! Holy shit I'm here already. Damn it
K: Shit I'm so sorry. We were razzing Luke abt 5 am bc he got to mtg hr late
Me: Oh man. K. Guess ill try to sleep in the car
K: You can maybe warm up :) oh man. This is classic. We always have ppl late but never early. Wow. This is for the history books.

Blah blah blah. And then I send Kehau the above pic:

K: OMG I love ur pic
Me: So glad u r happy. I'm going to run mad today, can't believe I could have had an extra hour of sleep. I'm so stupid
K: Maybe we should post our stream o texts. This is too funny. I'm dying

There was more but those were the highlights. Anyway, Ikaika is the first one there and he's not even running. He's delivering our running t-shirts which were cool "RUN RFM" which was a play on the "RUN DMC" logo.

(If you don't know who RUN DMC is stop reading my blog now and never come back. You are banned for life.)

Then Patty shows up and so does everyone else. Derek, Bump, Kalaheo, Kristi, Pat, Frank, Kehau, Kats, Lori and Ethel, Baldwin High School's female counterpart to Bump in the 90's. The gal can still run but we'll get to that later.

Soooo . . . we get running.

Pat takes the first leg then Patti. Meanwhile the rest of us jump in trucks and drive ahead to Baldwin Park where Kats gets ready to take the baton.

That's Kats in the white shirt waiting for his turn to run three miles, from Baldwin Park to Hookipa Park.

Again we drive ahead and wait. Everyone was worried about me and Kats because, well, cardio ain't our thing. Here's a view of where we were waiting for Kats at Hookipa.

I'm not sure how much time passes but at some point Kats comes into view but he's walking. Then he sees us and starts running again, God bless 'em. I wondered if I'd be doing the same thing. He crosses the line and hands off to Ethel who takes off and I ask him, "How was it?"

He answered, "That sucked."

At this point my turn was coming up soon. Ethel was running from Hookipa Park to Haiku Community Center. I was taking the baton from her and running 3.5 miles. The problem was that I wasn't sure where the hell 3.5 ended. But at this point I'm just thinking I want to survive and don't really want to think about it until it was actually my turn.

So we're waiting and then we see Ethel, and she's charging up the hill. I head up to the handoff point and then all of a sudden it's in my hand. Okay. Time to start running.

Except it's not really a run is it? I'm just jogging along. I'm concerned about my back because it was stiff before I even began but I didn't want to tell anyone. Just take it slow and easy.

Everything is all G until I get to the cemetery, then it's a long uphill fight. The worst part is that the road is uneven and my left leg has to reach a bit longer than my right. This causes my left calf to burn like a mother and my back isn't helping.

But then a strange thing happens, the road levels off and my back pain goes away and so does my burning left calf. I start hitting some sort of stride and it feels sorta good except I still don't know how far away the finish line is for me.

I try to put this out of my mind and I smell the guavas and think for a minute about my grandmother. This goes on for a while and then all of a sudden I see two figures in white t-shirts which I identify as Bumper and Derek. They tell me that the end of my run is about two hundred yards away.

Two hundred yards? That's it? But I had all this energy! I was barely sweating!

Seems I had paced myself a little too well and I took so long that my friends came looking for me. Damn it.

So for the last two hundred yards I sprint and try to get tired. A familiar feeling comes back to me and I feel like I do at the gym if I use a weight that's too light for the WOD. I should have pushed myself more, I could have done better.

But my leg is over and so is my part of the race. For the rest of the day we travel in the truck and I cheer my friends. I eat that chicken and drink that beer and we have a good time but I don't feel like writing about it. Maybe next year I'll be better prepared for the Hana Relay.

In the meantime, here's a few more pics for memories. Here we have Bump and Derek hiding under the towel in the back of the truck as the rain came down pretty hard:

And here we have Smooth Hand Luke after tearing it up on his run. There are references I could make here of Luke being too sexy for his shirt but I won't go there. We pick on him enough as it is.

Here we have Derek, Ethel and Kristi posing for the camera. If I'm not mistaken Derek's getting ready to run leg 12.

Ethel stretching on a wall somewhere. I think by this time she had run twice already.

Here Kehau scarfs down Patty's tuna mix. That stuff was pretty awesome, wish we had more crackers.

That's it guys, those are my Hana Relay pics and my experience on the run. Next year I'll be better prepared for sure.

Great Aloha Run anyone? Only 8.8 miles?

Let me know.

Later gang,

Rod

What's in a name

2011-09-09T17:31:00.000-07:00

There's no real workout blog today because we're all resting for the Hana Relay tomorrow.

However, I felt the need to blog because I'm looking over the list of teams running in the relay - there's about 164 teams - and some of the names deserve mentioning.

They include:

- Nature Nymphs

- The Booty Queens

- Mankini

- Happy Asses Again

- Runaway Brides

- Hairy Krishna's Gone Wild

- Drag Racers

- Big Testicicles

- This Shit is Bananas

And of course, one that I totally relate to:

- Running Sucks.

Also I learned yesterday at the team meeting that I will be running the fifth leg of the race, which is about 3.54 miles. I had picked the second leg of the race but did not know that it had been spoken for ahead of time by the Wonder Twins, Patty and Kehau. My spider senses are tingling, I smell a conspiracy here . . .

That's okay, I need the cardio because the last time I ran a mile it sucked. Then again I was trying to actually keep up and run fast. This time I will go sloooooooooooowwww and amuse myself with the people running in costume.

I am a bit concerned that our team name, Raw Fitness Maui, isn't too creative however. Of course, from a marketing standpoint you want people to know the name so they know who to look for if they want to join the gym.

Next time though, maybe we could come up with something more creative, such as:

- RFM Clean Snatchers

- WOD Runners

- Gym Gone Bad

- You So Smooth Luke

- Bumper's Sprinters

- I Stalk Kehau

My favorite of course would be:

- We Hate Cardio

Get a good night's sleep gang, and see you bright and early tomorrow.

Rod

Here comes the relay

2011-09-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

I'm in. I'm doin it. It's happening.

I, the proud founder of the I Hate Cardio blog/movement/cult, do hereby join all of the idiots who are running the Hana Relay this Saturday.

For those who aren't running, namely the sane people, the Hana Relay consists of 52 miles, 617 curves and 56 bridges. It starts from the Kahului Airport and ends at the Hana Ball Park.

That's right, I'm running as part of Team B for Raw Fitness Maui. Team B as in, not good enough to run with the studs on Team A so they had to make a second team of scrubs.

Yeah, but I'd rather be an RFM scrub than an elite athlete at another gym. Suckas.

I have to say though, Bob got me nervous the other day. He comes up to me and says, "So, I was running last week and I was good for about 12 minutes, then I started to bog pretty badly."

"I think it's because our workouts are intense but only last for a short period of time."

Great, so basically Bob's warning me that I'll be all good for little while, then my body will shut down and die. Good job Bob, thanks.

That's okay, guys like me and Kats have a plan. It's called, running slow. In some cultures they call it "walking."

Actually no, my plan is to look for someone that's running a comfortable pace, and then run right behind them. Ever see Days of Thunder? I'm gonna do some drafting then as I reach the end I'll pull out in front of them.

The only thing is I'm going to have to run three times, for about three miles for each leg of the run.

Can I run nine miles? Even if it's separated into three different heats? Hmmmm . . .

Guess I'll find out on Saturday.

By the way, Wednesday's workout was kind of a mess. It was a Fight Gone Bad prep workout that included one minute rounds of power cleans, box jumps, rowing, push presses and wall balls. We had to remember our max rep count then repeat and go for time for the second round.

Confused? I was. But I was sweating and tired and out of breath so whatever happened I got a good workout.

So . . . yeah. Here we go.

See you at the finish line.

Rod

Back pain strikes again, to relay or not to relay and rainbow socks

2011-09-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

You knew it was coming back. Someday.

My lower back tweaked in the middle of the WOD. Surprise surprise.

Took a while though. I swear I've been back pain free since whenever that Portland Crossfit guy was here. When was that? July? Somebody look in my archives and tell me tomorrow.

I'm starting to deduce what triggers the pain. It's not kettlebells by themselves. There has to be some sort of pre-fatigue workout like squats. Both of which we did today.

The thrusters may have had something to do with it also but I think I just hate them so much that I like to blame thrusters for everything.

First was a strength workout consisting of shoulder presses and squats. I did 15 reps of 95 lbs for presses and 15 reps of 140 for squats. Not too shabby.

Then the WOD. Three rounds of three thrusters, six box jumps and nine kettlebell swings with a one minute rest period after every three minutes of work.

Ouch.

I made it to the third round and did six sets before my back stiffened up. I didn't whine or fight it, I just laid down. I'm learning to listen to my body and my body appreciates it. My relationship with myself has evolved, yay.

Now if only I can listen to my mind like I listen to my body. For example, I was not listening to my mind when it said to me, "Make sure not to forget your checkbook so you can pay Bumper for the Hana Relay registration."

So right now I'm not sure if I'm going to get registered. I want to run, for real! As long as there's no back pain I'll run my legs off. If I can I'll stop off at Kaiser tomorrow and drop off a check for Bump then. Please?

And if I do run, I will not be running with Lori's rainbow socks like I did today. I had my workout shoes and no socks so Lori let me use some extra ones that she had.

You know, I like sacrificing my dignity just so I have material for this blog but . . . yeah, those multicolored socks were a bit much. It wasn't so much funny as it was . . . weird. And unfashionable. Not that I coordinate my outfits but damn I looked confused today.

Okay, gonna ice my back. Or mabye just lay down. That sounds like a good idea.

Later gang,

Rod

Easy like Sunday bloggin

2011-09-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

Before I start I'd just like to say you peeps missed a good get together at my place in Paia. Steak, beer and a good football game. Afterwards we played some music and grooved until midnight. Some of us went to Moana Cafe for more partying. I stayed home and cleaned up and decided to blog too.

Anyway, got some catchin up to do here. Let's start with Friday:

Friday was deadlift testing day. An scary message from our coaches online stated that we would be going so heavy on deadlifts that we weren't going to have a WOD. Instead we would have "mobility work as you may feel like you were hit by a truck after the heavy deadlifts."

Yeah.

So, I've sorta got a love/hate relationship with deadlifts right now. I used to love them until my back started tweaking. Now I try to be cautious and use strict form, to the point where the RFM coaches say my lift looks like I'm doing a three part movement.

Anyway, I tried to go big on Friday. I hit 365 which was a personal best for me. I was getting psyched up and yelled out, "C'mon gang let's get hit by a truck!" Big talk too soon.

Right after that I tried 385 and just couldn't get it past my knees. I felt the weight and it scared me and I said, no more for today.

It sorta felt like a couple of times when I was in the water and attempting to catch some decent sized waves. I got pounded down to the ocean floor and when I got to the surface I started paddling for shore for survival's sake. That's how badly I wanted NOT to do another deadlift after that scare with the 385. When I walked away I felt like I was paddling for shore that day.

But no worries gang, I eventually got back in the water (not that day) and I'll return to deadlift that weight. I want to hit 400 too. Kats hit 400 and he couldn't stop smiling. It was a big kid on Christmas morning kinda smile and I was happy for him. Can't wait to have that smile too. Good job brah.

So what now? Oh yeah, Saturday.

We had a special workout called "31 Heroes", in honor of Kraig Vickers, a Maui High School graduate who died in that Afghanistan helicopter crash on August 6th. I know Kraig's brother Mark and I knew Kraig too. Good guy and a good family.

So it is for Kraig that we did this workout. I'm not going to be so foolish as to compare Kraig's sacrifice to mine, because he gave his life for his country. He leaves behind a wife, kids and another unborn child on the way, a child who will never have met his father. You can't give more for us than Kraig did.

But, because this is I Hate Cardio and because I am who I am, I have to say this:

That damn workout sucked.

Thrusters, box jumps, pushups, burpees and double unders, as many as you can of each for a 2:04 minute round. Three rounds total.

Thrusters and burpees in the same workout? Insane you say? For you Kraig, only for you.

Thankfully we worked out with a partner, and God be praised that Luke was there to save my ass.

We tried to be smart, tried doing reps of 10 then switching off and letting the other one rest. But Kehau and Lori still handed us our ASSES. They beat us in reps and weight for their thrusters. I think their total was 700 plus reps and ours was 600 plus reps. AND their thruster barbell weight was around 105 pounds compared to our wimpy 75 pound barbell.

Hey, what can I say? They're good. One day I'll be just like them. And on that day I'll need to buy new jeans because my quads won't fit into anything.

It was good to see that Luke was tired too. He's the guy in the gym that makes everything look easy, but yesterday he was bogging like the rest of us. Hell if someone wasn't bogging I'd check to see if they were part cyborg. Give me power cleans instead of thrusters ANY day.

The aftermath? My triceps are sore like a mother. Hot DAMN they hurt. Must be from the pushups I guess. (Bump I think we might need more chest work, just a thought.)

But you know what the pain means right? Pain means you're alive. I'm alive because I live in a country that is protected by people like Kraig. God bless 'em all and the sooner we can bring everyone home the better.

Aloha gang,

Rod

Weight belts, relay races and the blog mid-life crisis

2011-09-01T02:19:00.000-07:00

You know, there was a time when I couldn't wait to write this blog.

Now, though, it seems like I never have time for it. But like the workouts, you have to make time.

Or maybe it's just harder to come up with new stuff, to try and keep things fresh. Ah well.

Maybe I'll come up with a magic writing formula one day, for now though I'll just keep doin what I'm doin.

Like today. Searching for that one rep max for push press. The board said warm up with 50, 60, 70 percent and so on and so forth. Hell, I just kept putting on weight until something didn't feel right.

I got to 205 pounds and was tempted to stop. Then I saw Ikaika's weight on the board which said 215.

That's okay, I was still going to stop. Listen to your own body right, don't compete against anyone else except yourself.

Right.

Except . . . well . . . I didn't really struggle with 205. I mean I did, but I had a little left in the tank.

So I strapped on Bob's weight belt, tightened up the wrist straps and went for it.

Man, 215 was heavy, but I did it. Maybe the day will come when I rep 225 for push press, but it ain't happening anytime soon.

So yeah Ikaika, I did 215, but if you had the weight belt I think you could have done 225. Stabalizing my back made all the difference.

Speaking about my back, I'm getting small kine nervous about the Hana Relay. I think my stamina will be fine, but my back might give out again. Hopefully not.

Three miles a leg should be fine. I do Crossfit, right?

Crap. I should start running. Like, a lot. For an hour a day. Up and down hills.

Except I hate running. I hate cardio. It's the name of my blog damn it.

I'll run when I'm ready, which will be the day of the Hana Relay, not before.

I'm going to be sore for a week aren't I?

Sigh. Bump, maybe we better start running a mile for our warm-ups. Just a thought.

Later gang,

Rod

Video don't lie

2011-08-31T01:21:00.000-07:00

Finally made it back to Crossfit today, work on Monday kept me from the 5 p.m. workout.

Today we did snatch balances for 30 minutes. You know, pull the bar off the ground, flip it above your head and squat down under it. It's tough enough without any weight, just because it's easy to lose balance and either lean too far forward or back.

Today however we had a secret weapon. Ikaika's iPhone video camera. At first I was like, no way dude, get that away from me.

But I gotta admit, nothing like really scrutinizing your technique than watching video right after you do it. And slowing it down so Bump can catch every movement.

It was a real useful tool. First I was pulling the weight too early, then I wasn't pulling the weight close enough to my body. Small things but they matter when you're trying to do it right.

Afterwards we had a gasser of a WOD. Eight rounds of 20 seconds of kettlebell swings, 10 seconds of rest then 20 seconds of mountain climbers.

Wow man, that was just straight up cardio. But the good thing is my back isn't freaking out anymore when it comes to kettleball swings. At least not yet. My left arm feels a little tweaked though from the snatches. I'm still doing something wrong obviously.

Also, the diet. Man, I've gone so far off the path that it sucks. For lunch I had bread and butter, then I had some pancit for dinner and that was just today. It's been bad since I got back from Vegas and it needs to stop. Like now. I weighed myself today and I was still at 188, but if I keep this up I'll be back to 200 in no time. I've got to stop. Now.

Alright. Deep breath. Do it.

Okay, let's see if that works.

Later gang,

Rod

I live. Barely.

2011-08-27T14:35:00.000-07:00

As many of you know I am back from Vegas. I will not go into details except to say I did not come out ahead financially. I did lose/have my wallet stolen but that might have been a good thing as I was forced to not spend anymore money.

But this isn't a blog about Vegas. This is about how I Hate Cardio. And there's nothing like coming back from a week of not Crossfitting and hating cardio all over again.

Friday was my first workout since I've been back and it wasn't THAT bad. Some deadlifts and good mornings then the WOD. I lucked out coming back on deload week. Because of my back I don't go all out on deadlifts anymore, so I know I'm not doing as much as I could. But you gotta listen to your body. At least when I'm not in Vegas I listen to my body.

Sorry, had a small flashback. The trip was sort of like a combination of Fear and Loathing and the Hangover. Without illegal drugs of course. There was a lot of confused wandering though.

Anyway, the workout. Deadlifts. Kat's is going to hit 400 soon and I would like to also, but I'm afraid of my back. Just as I'm afraid of doing more than 225 on bench because of my torn pec. I'm taking it slooooowwwww.

Then came the WOD. Six power cleans with no squat. I laugh at that. But then they added 40 double unders. For four rounds. Are you frickin serious.

By the way, I can DO double unders now. Like ten in a row. After that I get tired and start doing five and six. And then three and four then one and two. But I can do 'em.

It's frickin tiring though. Oh damn. Now I know why everybody complains about their shoulders. Had no idea the shoulder muscles involved in spinning that rope around twice on one jump.

Suffice to say, that was sorta brutal. After the second round I got confused and didn't know what round I was on, so I followed Kats. I knew we were working out at about the same speed because I ripped through my power cleans but was not as fast as he was on DU's so after I was done with what could have been my third or fourth round I watched him. If he grabbed the barbell again we both had just finished our third and still had our fourth left. If he sat down I was done too.

Bastard walked over to do more power cleans. Damn it.

I ripped through that last round and ended with a time of 11:27. I think. My back isn't happy.

But my liver is happy to be home. And so is my lingering bank account. Next time I get excited to go to Vegas someone please talk me out of it.

I will say this though, because I was on mostly a "liquid diet" in Vegas I lost even more weight. (Which I put back by eating crap when I got home this past week, whatever.) I tried to take a picture but didn't do a real good job, forgot to turn off the flash on my Blackberry. I know I'm going to get stupid comments about this but whatever. I don't usually put pictures of myself on this blog but you gotta show the progress at some point right?

Okay gang, peepshow is over.

Later,

Rod

RFM Travel Benefits

2011-08-18T14:43:00.000-07:00

There's no RFM mileage plan if that's what you're wondering.

No, I mean like I've been trained to endure the hardships of traveling. Like if you're traveling with a young child and carrying all the luggage. Or you have to run to try and make a connecting flight. Or both in my case.

First off the gate on Maui was the last gate farthest away. I carried both duffel bags and my son's overpacked backpack (he's 5-years-old) for what was a 1600 meter sprint as we tried to make the gate.

Then in Portland we had to catch a connecting flight and it was the same drill, except it was across the airport to catch the connecting flight to Seattle. About a football field away.

Then when we got off the plane in Seattle we had to go up a bunch of stairs. And I'm telling you, without RFM training I would have collapsed.

But you know, all that pain does a body good. As I treked through the airport carrying all that stuff I was thinking things like:

"Wow, those suitcase carry workouts are coming in pretty handy right now."

and

"This is kinda like doing deadlifts and running 400 meters except I don't have any chalk."

and of course

"This is much easier than thrusters. I effin hate thrusters."

So rejoice my RFM bretheren and sisteren, one day you will be put to the test and your RFM training will all make sense. Hell, I even picked up my son and ran carrying him and all our stuff at one point.

Didn't even hurt. Hell I was looking around for more stuff to carry. "I wonder if I can carry that woman's kids too? Hmmm . . ."

(Not wanting to trigger and amber alert I decided not to do that by the way.)

By the way, I'm still stuck in Seattle. Long story but I wasn't able to get on the earlier flight from Seattle to Vegas and had to stick with my 4:30 pm departure time. Ah well.

Adios kids,

Rod

She's identified herself

2011-08-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

Bump you were right, it was Estelle. Here's the email she sent me today:

Hi, Rod!

It's me, the lady in the parking lot. I was surprised that you mentioned our conversation in your blog especially since I didn't think you could hear what I was saying over the UPS truck...haha. I started going to RFM last January but got two injuries (clumsy) and had to start training in May so I stopped going. I still visit the site because I met some wonderful people and enjoyed my experience that I wanted to keep in touch somehow.

Your "I Hate Cardio" title intrigued me that I had to check out what you had to say. I swim and do marathons so I, on the other hand, LOVE CARDIO. It's the weights and strength that I hate. You write extremely well and I can relate to your experiences. And I crack up a lot!

So say "hi" to the old timers for me. And thanks for the mention in your blog...that made my day! =)

Estelle

Don't be a stranger Estelle, come and visit us sometime!

Rod

Sometimes you just never know

2011-08-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

So today I was not feeling good about the workout. Not at all.

I was tired and kept yawning. The warm-up Kehau put us through didn't seem like it was going to end and my deadlifts were lacking. I went up to 295 and cranked out four reps.

Meanwhile this guy, a visiting Crossfitter from Portland, Oregon cranked out 12 reps of 315 plus. I wasn't surprised, usually anybody who visits the gym is in good shape. Let's face it, if you're so dedicated to working out that you're determined to workout DURING your vacation then you're probably no slacker.

Then came the WOD, which, although it included my favorite handstand pushups, was not rocking my boat. We had to do 10 HSPU's, 20 kettlebell swings and run the 400 meter.

I was thinking I could crank out the HSPU's, try to make it through the KB swings and then hope my back didn't stiffen up during the run. I wasn't even thinking about trying to beat this guy.

Seriously.

And then, a funny thing happened.

I cranked out the HSPU's as I expected but then when it came time for the kettlebell swings I HAD NO PAIN. None. Zilch. Zero.

I was trying to use a lot of hip like we're supposed to but I always try to do that anyway. But this time I think I might have gotten something right because it was easy. I even had to look at the weight of the kettlebell because I thought I must have grabbed the lighter one by accident.

Nope. There it was, the heaviest one kettlebell we had, swinging up and down in front of me.

I cranked out 20 and started running. Still I'm thinking there's no way I'm going to stay in the lead. Sure enough I'm jogging and Patty and the Portland guy comes up behind me. They caught up to me on the way back and to my surprise didn't pass me.

So the three of us roll into the gym together and I'm STILL thinking that this is too good to last. Portland and I start get in the handstand position and start going. I jump off first again and start the KB swings and again I finish first.

My run was the same, trying to conserve energy but still trying to keep a decent pace. Portland and Patty caught up again and we ran in together once more.

This time though, I was thinking I might have a chance.

So again I rip through the HSPU's and KB swings and this time I start running a tad bit faster. I got to the halfway mark and see Portland coming the opposite way. As soon as I pass him I kick it up another gear. Not the afterburners, but just a tad more speed.

I didn't hear anybody's footsteps behind me as I rounded the corner and entered the gym. The clock said 10:19.

And get this. I wasn't even winded. Sorta sweating a little but there was no lying down on the ground and dying like I usually do after the WOD.

Yeah, no joke. I still don't know what happened.

Maybe it was just the right WOD or maybe the extra cardio workouts I've been doing have had an effect. Maybe I finally started doing kettlebell swings the right way or maybe because I've trimmed down there's less strain on my back.

Maybe it was all of the above. All I know is, that was pretty sweet. A frickin pain free workout. Afterwards I wondered if this is how Derek and Bumper and Fank and all those elite guys at the gym feel all the time.

By the way, I asked for the Portland couple's name and took their picture with my cell phone because I was totally going to brag on my blog. But now that I'm writing I don't feel like bragging anymore.

Except to say, HA!!!! BEAT 10:19 DEREK!!!!

Rod

Cashew clusters, Ab Ripper X and Zombiefication

2011-08-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

So, I think Bumper is a closet sci-fi geek. Either that or he just likes zombie movies.

I mean, who doesn't. But while I love zombie movies I think Bumper only became a fan after watching Zombieland, which stresses "cardio, cardio, cardio" as a way to survive the zombie apocalypse.

Whenever I whine (which is often) about something or ask if I'd be better off doing a non-cardio based type of excercise he points out that I need to do this or that because I'll be better prepared for the zombie infestation. This is true.

But lately while trying to lose weight I have to admit, I'm feeling more like the zombie than the guy trying to get away from the zombie. Mac salad is my brains of choice and I am craving that crap like no tomorrow.

Instead I'm eating cashew clusters from Costco, which on the package advertises that it also includes "almonds and pumpkin seeds." Kinda filling and they have a sorta sweet taste. They're not terrible, like those effin rice cakes. Seriously, who made those? They suck.

In any case it's been kinda hard to workout more and eat less but I'm trying. Yesterday I did the heavy ropes AFTER the regular WOD and then came home and ate . . . salad and peeled the skin off of some chicken.

You know I didn't even eat any ice cream or birthday cake on my birthday? I'm not even sure I miss it but it's just the fact that I can't have it. Kinda like how in the 8th grade you ask the girl that you're not attracted to, to dance with you because you're bored and all your other friends are dancing and she says NO. You're not really heartbroken, just annoyed. That's how my stomach feels right now.

And today is rest day but I did the P90X Ab Ripper X workout. It hurt less than when I did it on Monday. Better than just lying in bed, which is what I wanted to do when I got home from work. But now all these nuts make me feel like having . . . a beer.

It's not just the nuts, it's my job too, which is like eating nuts because it makes me nuts. I love my job but sometimes I feel like I'm 911 dispatch and everybody is calling all the time.

But I digress. It's good to be paid. And it is good to not eat stupid stuff. Mac salad is stupid. Kale salad is not. Then again, what if I mixed the two and then . . .

Enough. Mayo is not my friend.

By the way, I'll be starting my interviews soon. Just know that if I call or email you HAVE to answer my questions. I work for the mayor, damn it. Plus Bump is my classmate and you WILL do burpeees if you refuse.

As they say, "resistance is futile."

Oh and one more thing. And this is pretty cool, can't believe I almost forgot.

Somebody stopped me in the parking lot at work and asked me if I was Rod (no wait, it's not what you think) and then said, "I hate cardio, right?"

I looked at her and for a second almost forgot to say, "Yeah." I couldn't believe it, I was sorta shocked and surprised and . . . pleased. Somebody who I did not recognize from my RFM classes reads my blog.

This kind of giddy happiness from being recognized may seem idiodic to most of you if you're thinking "Wait, weren't you on tv?"

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. But this is different. I started this blog and now people are reading it (besides my friends from RFM) It's cool. I was stoked. This lady made my day.

I have to admit, I was a teeny weenie bit disappointed after she explained that she wasn't TOTALLY unrelated to RFM. Apparently she used to be an RFM member and still checks the RFM blog and that's how she came across the link to I Hate Cardio.

That's okay. It was still cool.

So my dear, if you are reading, please post something and identify yourself because I forgot your name and all the old timers at RFM will be asking me for your identity.

And on that good note, it might be time to get that beer.

Later,

Rod

I feel dirty

2011-08-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

Today I skipped the RFM workout for several reasons, (1) I forgot my shoes again, (2) it looked like a lot of squatting which I really didn't want to do and (3) I wanted to try something different.

What? Something other than Crossfit? Do tell.

Well it all started when I saw a friend's pic on Facebook and saw this guy that I went to high school with that's actually older than me. He will remain anonymous but here's the gist of it: dude had abs. Hell, he had abs on his abs.

When I asked what the hell he did for a workout I was told P90X. Damn it.

So what did I do when I came home? I popped in the Ab Ripper P90X dvd that I had stored away.

Working out and listening to the fast talking haole guy while I was sweating in my room, it just felt wrong. Yes my abs hurt and yes I may try to incorporate this into my regular workout (maybe on Thursdays) but it's juts not the same. I felt like I was having dirty sex in a cheap hotel room with my mistress. Except not in a good way.

Hmmm . . . that didn't come out right.

Anyway, after the workout (which was only 20 minutes) I tried to also do the push-up workout too but you know what? Without my coaches there to push me I only lasted five minutes on that DVD.

So much for that little experiment. Back to the gym tomorrow.

Also, you may have noticed that I have not been writing at all on my blog. Well, it's hard. For a little while it felt like the I Hate Cardio experiment had also run its course.

No, not really. Actually I just wanted something interesting to write about. My workouts just weren't doing it for me.

Then it hit me. My most favorite blogs were about my fellow gym members. I should do what I do best and interview all of them and post them here.

And no, I don't care if you don't want me to write about you. You signed a waiver when you signed up for RFM, it's part of the gym by-laws. Seriously, go look at it. Bumper said what? He just forgot about that clause probably.

So here's how we'll start, everybody SEND ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS to antonerod@live.com and we shall go from there.

Don't worry, I'll be gentle. I'll have you know that I've interviewed mayors, governors, congressmen, senators, Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson and the entire cast of 90210 so you guys are in good hands.

Just don't confess to any crimes and we'll be fine. Otherwise I have to call Oran and then you'll have to do a whole different kind of interview that won't be nearly as much fun.

You ready? Let's get started.

Rod

You gotta have some inspiration

2011-07-28T16:21:00.000-07:00

So, not sure if anyone noticed, but I haven't been blogging lately.

It's not because I'm lazy, or haven't had time, or am not interested anymore. It's just that, I've gotta feel it when I write something. And I just haven't been inspired lately.

Sure I've had some good workouts, lots to talk about. Like I ran a 1:22 for the 400 this week. Not bad I guess. I'd like to improve for sure.

Also I managed to crank out 40 pullups on Tuesday's WOD which had us doing four rounds of running the 200 then cranking out as many reps as we could on pullups. I was slow with the run but made the most with the pullups. My biceps hurt and I was happy but still not inspired to write.

And on Wednesday I started doing double unders with some consistency. Like nine or ten at a time. I was surprised and stoked but still not in the writing mood. Yeah, I don't know, just wasn't feelin it.

I've even had some pretty good funny stuff happen. Carried Lori for the 200 on Tuesday then carried Kats (for a much shorter distance) on Wednesday. Bump is promising pain and fortune with extra cardio workouts and I'm actually looking forward to it, although I think I'll hate it when I actually start working.

Still, no inspiration.

And then I clicked on this link: http://games.crossfit.com/about-games

Watch the video. Watch these people workout. See how in shape they are. See the upside down push-ups USING THE RINGS!?!?!??!!?

Yeah baby, that's what I'm talking about. Crossfit games. I want to get there one day.

But how? How do I compete? How do I train for something like that? It seems like at my present pace I'll be 45 years old before I can even try. This is not a rip on RFM or their training by the way, I'm looking at myself and saying that this body will take some time to get into the kind of shape that it needs to be in for the games.

Is it possible? Sure. The great advantage of being me is that I'm pretty stupid when it comes to acknowledging my limits. Of course there are some drawbacks to that (see torn pectoral blog post from last year) but mostly it's a good thing.

Ok let me rephrase that, with RFM's help and guidance it is a good thing. For the most part. I think.

So, sorry it's taken so long to get inspired, but it feels great to write again. And to have a lofty goal to draw inspiration from.

While we're on the subject, what inspires you?

Let me know.

Rod

RFM members looking good, no numbers for Ikaika and why I'm too tired to hate cardio right now

2011-07-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

First I want to shout out to Carol, Jun and Erin. They've done what I haven't, which is lose a lot of weight and lean up something fierce.

Carol has to be down at least 50 pounds and Jun and Erin 20 pounds. It's gotten to the point where I just say to people, "Paleo?" And they nod their head and say yes.

I'm on Paleo lite. I know, no excuses. Eff me.

On to other matters. Ikaika has shut me out.

Usually I take my cue from him when it comes to what weight to use for the workouts. Hey, I can do worse then try to emulate a strong, fast guy who's 10 years younger than me right? I figured he was a good benchmark. Plus I get to tease him in my blog so it makes for good material.

Yesterday though Ikaika erased his time and his weight so I was left with nothing. Bump says that my workout record notebook should be my guide. Thank you Master Po.*

*(Eighties reference to "Kung Fu", the tv series. You know, Kwai Chang Kaine, grasshopper, steal the pebble from my hand? Is anyone getting these references? You all suck.)

And finally, I knew I was going to be hurting today and so I waited until I hit the apex of pain to write my blog.

And yes, it is here. I am limping around as we speak.

In my zeal to try and get leaner and meaner I've turned to some extreme sources. Namely the RFM coaches.

First came Bump with the heavy ropes. I've still got some skin missing from that day.

Then came the prowler plus 90 pounds. I hate to admit it but that was the easiest day. I need more pounds or more rounds. Or both. (I know, I know, I'm asking for it but it's the truth.)

Then yesterday I took up with Kehau's madness. I should have known it was going to be bad, mostly because she wasn't training me, she was training herself and letting me tag along.

It was sort of like going surfing on the North Shore with a pro surfer, or jogging with a cross country marathoner. You're just struggling to stay alive.

For some reason Kehau was killing herself with the rowing machine. It's an evil beast that causes much suffering. She was rowing at 70 percent for 20 seconds, 80 percent for the next 20 then going 100 percent for the last 20. One minute of hell.

Of course, once she explained it to me I said, "Sure, sounds great." She took the time to show me how to row and all I could think was, "Your quads are HUGE and work like giant pistons and you're still tired. I'm dead."

This is probably only the second time in my life that I was afraid to workout with a female. I recall years past while I was still living on Oahu I met a gal working out at 24 Hour Fitness. I remember she was a DEA Agent and built like a bodybuilder. I had met her in the field at some drug bust or another and we got to talking. Soon we had a hiking "date" set up to do the Stairway to Heaven.

For those who don't know, the Stairway to Heaven is a hiking trail on Oahu. It was built by the military way back when and is literally a stairway up into the mountains. The hike is basically stairmaster on incline for an hour and a half.

Anyway, the end of the story was that this DEA gal wasn't even tired when we got to the top while I was heaving and wheezing. Crash and burn does not even begin to describe that debacle. Needless to say there was no second date.

With Kehau I was not worried about being embarrassed so much as I was worried about puking. We did five or six rounds of that crazy rowing. Oh, did I mention she also kept on adding 45 bumper plates so that the rowing machine was at an incline? It wasn't pretty afterwards.

But I'm hoping it'll be worth it. I think I'll ask Bump if I can do the ropes again on Friday.

By the way, if there's ever a RFM trip to Oahu I'd like to be the first to suggest a Stairway to Heaven hike. I would like the opportunity to redeem myself. Here's what we're in for:

Late,

Rod

Whole Foods parking lot rocks

2011-07-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

A while back we were talking about stuff to do on Maui and Derek had randomly mentioned that he wanted to tailgate in the Whole Foods parking lot. For a brief second I was going to ridicule him but then thought, "That's kind of a cool idea."

See I've always thought that somebody should build a subdivision across the street from Maui Mall on the beachside. A condo at least or something. It's all industrial stuff from the harbor to before Kanaha and sorta lame. Think about it, you could live in town but next to the beach, across the street from Whole Foods and Longs and the movie theatre. Instead they got a sewer treatment plant and some other businesses. Waste of some prime real estate. Of course you'd be screwed if there was a tsunami but that's another conversation.

Anyway, the picture above is a glimpse into what life COULD be like. I ran into D at Whole Foods and we grabbed a six pack and headed back to his truck. The beer was good, the view was nice and the breeze perfect. It was one of those "life is good" moments.

I know I'm supposed to write about a workout here but I think I'm just going to leave this post as is for now. Mostly because I'm thinking about that cool breeze again and just want to lie down and daydream. Aloha gang.

Rod

Forgot the shoes, wimped out on the weight and phantom sirens

2011-07-13T02:00:00.000-07:00

It's not often that I talk about work on this blog, but tonight I will.

Not right now though, first I talk workout.

Today I forgot my shoes. Yawn.

Nothing new, I've done this one before. Check out the blog from last year.

But it was amusing to watch the new people be amused. Gladys thought I was crazy, especially since we had to run the 200 meter six times today.

The truth is, I love running in slippers. My feet feel lighter and I feel faster. Which is weird because I have some nice New Balances and they work pretty well but I guess my feet like freedom.

So today's workout was simple but intense. Ten pushups followed by the 200 meter dash, six times.

I can crank out 10 pushups as fast as anyone not in the military and I positioned myself outside so I could take off and save that extra two seconds. I was the first off the block but of course Derek catches up no problem. Ikaika follows and before the first round is over I'm behind the two of them.

That trend stays throughout the whole WOD. I end up doing 10 minutes and something seconds I think. It wasn't too bad and I wonder now if I would have ran faster or slower with shoes. It's kind of a catch 22. My feet feel lighter but also more prone to injury. So while I run faster I also feel myself slowing down out of fear of breaking skin.

I know, I gotta commit one way or the other. Maybe the answer is to buy super light shoes.

Well I have investigated, and looked at Innov8's and those funky finger-toe shoes and everything else out there. And you know what, I found the most Crossfit props for these:

That's right, the Adidas men's Samba. I was so surprised but apparently you can run in these and the flat surface is good for powerlifting. Not as cool as those finger-toe shoes but better than running shoes. I'm glad the classics never go out of style. These look cool with jeans too. I'm so stoked because I love buying things that are multipurpose. I can wear these suckas anywhere.

What I'm NOT stoked about is being lame when it came to lifting weights today. We were doing the tall snatch which Jun and I were finding kinda tricky. Derek and Ikaika were lifting in the big boy section of the gym and after my sets I wandered over there to watch. Kaika slapped out 8 in a row using 135 then Derek slapped on 155 and did a couple of reps.

I walked over and picked up the weight, intending to do at least one rep and just put it right back down. It just felt too heavy. I was like, "Yeah, I won't be yanking this up on my front shoulders and squatting down. Nope. Ain't gonna do it."

Afterwards I was mad at myself. WTH? Why not? What's one rep? But I guess I just wasn't feeling it today. Lame.

In any case today was much better than the thrusters, by God yes. I was happy when I came home. Gave my son a kiss and had some dinner and veged out a little.

Then at 8:35 p.m. I started receiving calls. A lot of them. Both cell phones were going off.

Apparently the civil defense sirens started going off in Wailuku. For no apparent reason.

I'll spare the details but in 20 minutes I was as tired mentally as I was physically. No joke.

And just in case you're wondering, there was no emergency that triggered the alarm. I'm hoping they track down the problem because that's not something I want to have to do again.

And with that, let us say goodnite folks.

Rod

I'm back and so are the damn thrusters

2011-07-12T01:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry, had a momentary lapse in sanity. I actually tried to be positive about cardio.

That wasn't working. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.

Nah, actually I don't feel like bitching about the workout today. I'd rather say cool things about my fellow RFMers.

Today Kehau offered to get me into Vegas shape while Derek said he'd support me through another round of Paleo.

How stellar is that? When was the last time anyone from your gym wanted to do something cool for you? The only thing 24 Hour did for me was withdraw $30 a month from 1995 to 2006. That's $4,000 for what?
I could use that money at the craps table next month. VEGAS BABY VEGAS.

I need abs because in the summer everyone cruises at the pool in Vegas. Last time I went we hung out and had cocktails all day, had dinner took a nap and hit the casinos at night. I'm looking forward to having that schedule again. It is bliss.

So I am truly stoked that Kehau has offered to get me into cabana shape. If she can't help me then I might as well start eating bacon and mayo sandwiches every day. Because there's no hope.

Instead we're going to embark on some sort of mad journey which involves running, pushing the damn sled and something else. Three times a week. On top of an already hard workout at RFM.

Yes indeedy, it's time to hurt. I'm ready for it though. Vegas is the ultimate motivator. I yelled "Vegas" while doing abs today. It worked.

Having said that, it was still tough today if not totally frickin awful.

Four rounds of 10 thrusters then 20 double unders. For time.

I did the required 95 pounds for men, no more, no less. I tried double unders the first round and then couldn't even lift my legs for the second.

So I switched to single unders, 60 of them. It still sucked because I still had to do the thrusters.

Every one of them was terrible. I managed to crank out a full set of ten on the first set, then had to do five or six then rest for the other three. Bump gave me some advice to set my feet and drive from my heels so I don't wobble all over the place. I think it helped.

Actually what I know helped is the front squat training. I hate that crap but it works. It's like increasing your bench by going heavier on incline bench. Don't ask me to explain it but that works too. Not that I do incline bench anymore, but maybe we should try. Couldn't hurt, right? I'll let Bump take that question. Makes sense to me though, but I'm not the guy with the Crossfit certificate on the wall.

Alright folks so say it with me, VEGAS!!!! Let's do this.

Peace,

Rod

I feel so wonderful today

2011-07-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for the next time that I get to do thrusters. And burpees.

I hope I get to do them both at once.

In fact, I think I'll come up with a fantasy workout, that incorporates everyone's most favorite movements.

Maybe someone will read my blog and implement this workout on Monday. That way everyone can say happy things and smile and laugh together.

I'm hoping that one day we can all do this workout whlie holding hands and a church choir sings and puppies and children play.

Anyway, here's my contribution for a workout this week:

5 rounds

5 burpees
5 dips
5 thrusters
5 handstand PU
5 wall balls
5 kettlebell swings
5 box jumps

The first round starts off with a 100 foot bear crawl and the last round ends with a 100 foot bear crawl.

I can't think of anything more wonderful than this workout. Smile everybody.

R:)d

I can't hear you. Really. I can't

2011-07-08T23:34:00.000-07:00

Today I realized something about my body. It's a lot like the a starship.

(If you've never watched a damn episode of Star Wars, Star Trek or any sci-fi movie in space get the hell away from my blog now. Seriously)

Anyway, in these sci-fi movies when the starship or spaceship is damaged the crew stays alive by re-routing power to vital areas. Example:

"Captain, we've been hit! We're down to 40 percent power!"

"Shut down everything but life support and shields! NOW FIRE ALL WEAPONS!!!"

"Uh, you just said shut everything down except for life support and shields. Our weapons are useless."

"Crap."

Whatever. What that needlessly long example shows is that when damaged, you've got to conserve energy.

Case in point. After the WOD people at RFM foolishly try to speak to me. Today Derek said something about my hips and people laughed. I laughed too but just to be friendly, then I walked to my car.

I have no idea what they were saying. I usually don't.

At the end of a tough WOD my body shuts down the language center of my brain and I have trouble hearing and speaking. I'd say out of the five senses that a human being usually possesses I'm down to three by 6:15 p.m.

So sorry guys. I really don't know what you were saying. I'm sure it was important and/or funny. I might have even responded but God knows what I said because I don't.

Especially today. Today was a beater. Wall balls and pullups and a 400 meter run. For four rounds.

My running sucks. I tried to do that special track running technique that MHS star Kikuchi was trying to teach us but I couldn't lift my legs. However by the last lap I had somehow extended my stride which had me going faster (a little) and helped my back but I'm not sure how I did that either.

I will thank Bumper for incorporating more weighted pullups though, because it really made the difference for me today. I cranked out the first round of deadhang pullups and then managed to kip my way past the other three rounds.

Oh yes, and having the 14 pound medicine ball instead of the 20 helped too. Then again maybe it was the front squat training that we've been doing. I fixed my grip and made it more narrow and holy crap it was easier today. I didn't do as much weight as Derek but at least the final 4 reps of 190 didn't destroy me like it usually does.

In fact, the front squat was easier than my push presses earlier in the week. Which is strange. For me at least. I hate squats and love presses. Usually. Today was different.

Strange day today, but mostly in a good way. I do not understand all that Bumper does but his tweaking of the strength workouts seems to be working for me.

Now, on to other matters. This one I will address only once so listen up.

I hate all WOD's. Bear crawls for 100 feet I hated more than usual but believe me, I hate them all.

I hate thrusters and I hate burpees. I hate deadlifts and I hate kettlebells swings and I ESPECIALLY hate when Bump schedules both on the same day, which he has been doing for every single workout for like the last 5 months or something. It's like taking a wrecking ball to my lower back every time.

But I do them, because I know I'll be better for it.

However it is my God given right to hate the WOD. If I can't hate the WOD then damn it, the terrorists have already won. I've got a First Amendment right to hate the WOD. My hate is protected by the U.S. Constitution and the ACLU.

My damn blog is called I Hate Cardio for God's sake. It's my frickin job to hate the WOD.

But that's okay. Ali hated Joe Fraizer and said he was a better champion because he said Joe forced him to go to that next level. I think his exact words were that Joe Fraizer helped him become a better man.

As much as I hate them, the WOD's are helping me become a better 38-year-old man. In fact when I turn 39 in August I expect to be even better than I was when I was 38 and I expect to be in better shape at 40 than the year before and so on and so forth.

And guess what? I'll still hate the WOD's, especially burpees and thrusters and bear-crawls. Expect me to whine and moan. But also expect me to run, jump, push, pull, lift and squat as much as I can.

It's how I thrive. I focus on hate during the WOD. It gets me going. Some examples:

- I hate Derek when he runs
- I hate Lori when she does air squats at light speed
- I hate Ikaika when I see on the board that he grabbed a weight 10 pounds heavier than I would have used
- I hate Luke whenever he does anything

Maybe that technique doesn't work for you, but it does for me. Join the hate brigade and sip on the Haterade.

Adios and stay thirsty my friends.

Rod

What all this training comes down to is . . .

2011-07-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

. . . how do I go looking like this guy . . .

To looking more like this guy . . .

Because let's face it, that's why I'm doing all this stuff. I'm shallow, yes I know.

Anyway, please do not take this as a "Rod's not happy with RFM" because I'm totally not. It's just that as Vegas looms near I begin to think less about fitness and more about appearances. Give me a break, I just got divorced.

Also I'd like to go on the record to say I am very happy with what RFM has done for me thus far. I feel better, I believe I look better and I've gotten many compliments. Above all I'm estatic that even though I have half a pectoral my chest strength is as strong as before.

What I'm talking about is slimming down, but it really has nothing to with RFM and more to do with my diet. I like to drink after work and what I have also discovered is that you cannot really modify the Paleo diet (I can't anyway). Just a little bit of gluten messes everything up totally. I've really cut back on the sweets but still ate ice cream twice and had one jelly filled doughnut with the jelly squeezed out of it over the last 7 days. Is that good enough? It would be better if I didn't eat that stuff and I'm trying. I really really am.

Again, this is just me. Some members of my gym are on a modified Paleo and it works, I see their results. They've found something that works and now so do I. Vegas in the summer is a great motivator.

On another note I'd like to report that my back pain has lessened considerably. I'm actually proud to say that the stretching I have done before our workouts has helped along with trying to do very strict deadlifts. Of course I was being so careful going up that I forgot to fully widen my hips at the top as pointed out to me by Bump. So noted and thank you. We'll see if I can remember next time.

My kettlebell swings need some work though. Ah well, one thing at a time.

Also I'm starting to do some core strengthening before the workouts as well. It just makes me feel better. I should probably incorporate some double under practice too because that's starting to piss me off that I don't have those yet. Oh and ring dips. Grrrrr. . . but Ken showed me something with the rubber bands that I might try next time.

Yeah, no funny stuff today gang. Sorry. But that's why we have other blogs now. I have to say with no BS that Rikki is on a roll, her stuff is fresh and entertaining and she has the passion of a new RFMer that you can't replicate. It's like that new car smell, once it's gone it's gone. Kehau is funny too but her blog is more about eggs and chickens. If she starts talking about fighting roosters then I'm in there like swimwear on a fat man. Carrol is great but she still scares me. When I read her blog I feel like she's going to jump from behind my couch and say "MOVE IT DIRTBAG!!!!" (Just had a Police Academy flashback. 80's alert!)

Anyway, aloha and I'll see you at the gym,

Rod

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto

2011-07-06T23:50:00.000-07:00

So if you read the comments section of the last blog you'll find something from a "montanna." It is strangely worded and my Spidey sense is tingling.

I do believe I Hate Cardio has been spammed.

Henceforth I will set up traps and tests that only real people will be able to pass. This will not happen again.

It does however mark a significant milestone for me. I just read my first blog from last September and back then I never thought I'd be attracting spam. Then again from what I've read online it doesn't take much to attract that crap.

Anyway, for you newbies check out my first blog attempt ever. It's entertaining if not a little unfocused.

But like Crossfit, you've to start somewhere right? Here's my beginning:

Like I said, I hate cardio

Especially running. And aerobics. And Tai-bo. And Zumba. Especially Zumba. Looks great when girls do it though.

Anyway, like a lot of guys I lifted weights for years. It was like relaxing and working out at the same time. You sit down and lift. You stand in place and lift. You even get to lie down and lift. It's easy.

Then came my 30's. Then came kids. Then came busy schedules and tight budgets and no money for the gym.

Then one day you look in the mirror and say, "Who the hell is that guy?" with two chins and a belly sticking over your belt. At some point you either grab another beer and say what the hell or start figuring out ways to jump start your metabolism. And the only way to do that is to do some cardio, which, like I said before, I hate.

So I dabbled in P90X, tried one Insanity workout and decided watching a DVD at home wasn't for me. I tried running on the road and swimming at the beach but that was a bust too.

Then fate stepped in and introduced me to two types of workouts which got my cardio going and kept me coming back for more. So this blog is my own personal comparison of both while I go through the workout process.

First there's Crossfit. It's a form of excercise that as far as I can tell, wants to give you functional strength. What does that mean? Well for me it means not having sore legs when helping my friend move boxes upstairs. It also means not getting winded while snowboarding or just playing around in the park with my kids without telling them that daddy needs to rest for a while.

Here on Maui the good folks at Raw Fitness Maui (http://www.rawfitnessmaui.com/) have welcomed me into the fold. They powerlift, do a stupid amount of pull-ups and make me run. That's right, I like running when I workout with them. Why? Because after making me squat and do snatches and thrusters and other painful things I am very happy to run away from their weight room. They hurt me on a daily basis and I am happy about it. It's sick.

Then there's Elite Fitness, (formerly Peak Performance and their website is still called that (http://www.peakperformancemaui.com/), located in the hard to find Waikapu Industrial Center. What they put me through over there I like to call Fight Science Fitness. So far I've hit the heavy bag, practiced my footwork and cranked out push-ups like there's no tomorrow. There are some pretty good mixed martial arts fighters there who have been nice enough to take time out of their workout to show me how they get in shape. Granted, it's not their workout but it's good enough for a scrub like me. Those guys are nuts. The first time I worked out with them I came away with bloody knuckles and a sore back. But I was sweating like crazy so I knew it was a good thing.

So check out this blog if you like reading about how an out-of-shape writer in his late 30's hurt himself today. Along the way I'll introduce you to the coaches and other guys at the gym. And hopefully I get better at this website thing.

Anyway, here we go . . .

100th blog post, 30 days till Vegas and scenes from a Floatila

2011-07-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

I had big plans for the 100th I Hate Cardio blog post but seeing as how I have real work to do I'm going to keep it short. Somewhat.

When I first started this blog it was going to serve two purposes, (1) to get my ass in the gym and keep it there because if I blogged about it I'd be held accountable and (2) to give my friends some exposure to help their business.

Well, 100 posts later and I'm not sure if I've accomplished either of those missions. The fact is I go to the gym unless work gets in the way and my blog doesn't have anything to do with it. And although the gym is doing better it's because RFM is a fitness mecca and people recognize quality when they join.
As much as I'd love to say that there's been a 20 percent increase in RFM membership because of the I Hate Cardio blog that's just not true. But what I have accomplished thus far is (1) provided entertainment for the six or seven people that read this blog and (2) give myself a creative outlet.

These aren't the same goals as when I started, but I've accomplished them nonetheless. But I'm still trying to help Bump and Kristi promote the gym, always. I owe them a lot.

In any case, happy 100th blog! As a reward for my faithful readers I've taken a page out of Kehau's book and included food preperation instructions. Namely for grilling steak, the world's most perfect food.

So here it is:

- Buy tri tip steaks from Costco
- Place in pan
- Pour high grade olive oil
- Rub Hawaiian salt and cracked black pepper onto steaks
- Squeeze juice from four limes onto steaks
- marinate overnight
- grill to perfection
- eat and give thanks

I'll put my steak up against anyone else's steak. Look at me, I'm 200 pounds. I know what I'm talkin about.

Also, a friend of mine has said he wants to go to Vegas mid August. I'm down but I've got to get some abs. I'll do whatever it takes. Anything. I've heard that I have to eat nothing but boiled chicken and broccoli. I can do it. I'll do abs everyday. I just don't want to be cruising the Palms pool with this gut. I'm done with the gut. Vegas in the summer and the gut do not mix.

Finally, I've talked about having a "floatilla" on Maui but some of you don't know what I'm talking about. So here's a KHON story about what happened in Waikiki this year. Click here http://www.khon2.com/mostpopular/story/Hundreds-gather-at-party-spot-in-the-waters-off/2tfZRGTd2k6WhNoSY9i9lw.cspx

And I leave you with the top ten keywords and phrases that lead people to my blog from search engines:

1. Rod Antone
2. "Rod Antone"
3. cardio hunger
4. cardio pistols
5 clean and jerk pregnant
6. commando squats
7. i hate cardio rod antone
8. Kehau blog fitness on Maui
9. Maui paleo
10. my injury workout site: blogspot.com

Enjoy,

Rod

Blog threats

2011-07-01T22:29:00.000-07:00

Today I received a disturbing comment, which went something like this:

"UPDATE YOUR BLOG, WTF???"

I felt somewhat violated and afraid and almost went to the Maui Police Department to flie a temporary restraining order. Instead I will keep blogging regularly and pray that this said person can be captured by the proper authorities.

I only hope that she, I mean, this person will not become violent. For example she, I mean this person could force me to arm wrestle in a bar. Or they could push a car over me. Maybe even tell their friends to stomp on my foot with her snatch foot stomps.

Don't worry folks, I don't get intimidated easy. Unless I'm at War Memorial Gym after a MMA fight and am outnumbered 200 to one. But I didn't go, so I'm safe. For tonight at least.

Feeling confused yet? That's okay, lets talk about the workout.

Today we did weighted pullups again, this time Ken the human flea was working out with me. He is named as such because like a flea he can jump 40 times higher than himself. It's true, look it up.

Luckily I did not have to jump with him, instead we put weights around our waists and pulled upwards. Then we did core strengthening movements which actually felt pretty good. I think I might even include them with my daily pre warmup stretches.

Then we did five rounds of :30 of dips, :30 of air squats and :30 of situps. I thought I didn't do too badly, 221 for the final tally. And that was with ring dips. Of course everyone else did more. I should have goen a bit harder on the air squats for the first two rounds.

I don't know, maybe for just one workout I have to NOT think about the sets or rounds coming later. Maybe I shouldn't prepare for what's coming next and just go all out every time.

I would do that, except that sounds like it would suck.

I tell you what, if anyone would like to do a no holds barred, stupid strategy WOD with me one day at RFM please let me know. I think I'll need a partner in this idiocy.

Have a happy Fourth gang. And don't be intimidated by those that are bigger and stronger than you.

Late,

Rod

Cheating, eating and big bastards

2011-07-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

First off I've got some other nonRFM photos that I'd like to share, stuff that I looked up when I started this other blog of mine called the Crossfit Alliance. The idea was to have a community website for all Crossfit Affiliates that served a different purpose than http://www.crossfit.com/. It was more to share the funny stories and inspirational stories and all that. Kinda fell to the wayside. Anyway I looked up some motivational pics to decorate my other site with and here they are in no particular order. (This was back in December by the way, before I started working 24/7.)

Okay this one isn't so much inspirational as I like it because my arms look HUGE. Like 24-inch eat your vitamins, say your prayers and let HULKAMANIA run wild over YOU kinda huge. Optical illusion I know.

And this one I like because that's a lot of weight and he looks crazy. That's the effort I want to put in when I lift and run and jump and do all the crazy RFM crap that we do. Anyway, those be my images that I had set aside for the Crossfit Alliance. Maybe I'll start it up again but this website and my job are plenty right now.

Ok, so let's talk cheating. People have been talking about me cheating in the gym and various blogs because I said I cheated the last time. But I don't do it all the time, especially not upper body workouts. Squats kill me though so if you're going to help me not cheat watch me anytime I drop my ass down to the floor. "I just cannt doo it Capt'n, I donnat have the pooowweeerrrrrr . . . ." (Three cheers if you get that Star Trek reference because it goes through my mind when I fail at the gym.)

Also, Rikki is stepping up some GAME. She's already got 15 pictures per blog post and writes pages and pages of content. I feel like I'm trying to compete against a heroin addict looking for smack. You just can't stop her. Good job Rickster, keep it up.

Also, Tehau the Mentalnesian has gained more commenters than I. It's like reading the old Star Bulletin online comment page. They're longer than the story itself. Wow, I know she's popular and strong and intimidating but where's the love for I Hate Cardio? Where are my comments? Although I must admit, who can resist a good egg-pun? For more eggsamples check out an ancient Star Bulletin story by clicking this link here: http://archives.starbulletin.com/2001/06/12/news/story2.html

Okay, gotta get ready for work. Adios and see you at the gym. Today's workout should be fine. Those airsquats are going to suck though. And this brings up a good point. Should I take a step back and and do bar dips or continue to struggle through ring dips? Derek brought up a good point about technique and I'm wondering if I should scale back on certain things.

Finally, eating. I'm going back to Paleo (sans beer and liquor) and reading the Whole 30 blog every day for inspiration. The only line that matters is "all you're doing is making good food choices, every day."

That's really what it boils down to. Don't REACT to your hunger, take ACTION. Make the choice and walk away to find something healthy. We aren't starving children in Africa and we won't die because we have to wait a couple of hours to go to Whole Foods. So man up. (I'm talking to myself right now but apply it to you if you want).

Late,

Rod

Crossfit Cheater, That's Me

2011-06-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

First off I'd like to apologize to Ikaika for calling him a cheater. He's the real deal.

I'm the cheater.

Yesterday as we did our WOD I totally did not do 10 reps for all four rounds. I know I did 10 for the first round, then 8 for the second, six for the third and 8 again for the last round.

I just couldn't do it. By all rights my pushup count should have been zilch.

Today we are supposed to run 400 meters then do 50 KB swings then run another 400 meters.

Today I will not sacrifice weight for reps.

Although I will likely pick up the 53 lbs kettlebell, just to try it out. If I can't do it I'll switch to the 44 pound kettlebell.

I promise. No more cheating. Besides, I'm only cheating myself.

Sunday blogging, Friday drinking and a buncha old pictures

2011-06-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday and there's no workout but I've got to blog.

For one thing I've got way too many pictures on my home computer that I need to finally make public. Nothing embarrassing just stuff that I've had for a while. Old stuff from the other gym, etc.

Plus I've been trying to incorporate more than two pictures as part of the overall look of my website but it ain't happenen. Not that I know what I'm doing but I think I'll have to change the overall design and that will just eff things up. Took me 20 minutes just to figure out how to change the color of the "I Hate Cardio" title of the blog. Sigh.

So let's show some pictures. Funny comments may or may not follow:

Hey look, it's Bob. Bob trains like a madman and we all like to give him a hard time but it's sort of like kicking puppies because he just smiles and takes it. So I'll just say that this pic is a good exmpale of the kind of work he puts into the gym. Hundred percent sweat and no B.S.

This one I want to apologize ahead of time if I'm wrong but is that Carol? Because if it is she sure as hell doesn't look like that anymore. If it's not please feel free to come up and slap me in the face but if that IS Carol then she is literally a fraction of the woman she used to be. Unreal kine work ethic on her too and it's obviously showing. (Please I hope I'm not wrong.)

Oh look, it's a fat guy with pale white legs stretching his fat ass on the floor of the gym. I hate this pic.

Whether you call her Kehau, Tehau or whatever she's one strong wahine. This must have been a whlie back because I can see her husband Frank working out in the background. For the newbie Frank is too far advanced in his fitness to work out with mere mortals. I hear nowadays he does a Mr. Incredible workout benching trains and stuff. And if you haven't seen the Incredibles go rent it just so you get that reference.

One of Bump's more mental workouts. Actually the worst part about this (for me) was just scratching my knees on the asphalt. What? I dislike pain. I hate lunges too but whatever.

The end. Nuff said.

Actually another reason I posted these pics is because for the first time I can actually see what some of these pics are. For the longest time they were unidentifiable until someone taught me I can type in ".jpg" after the image title and it'll show up. Yes indeedy, he can be taught some new tricks.

And while I'm at it I might as well post some new pics. Here's the latest from the RFM karaoke night out at Ohana's on Lower Main.

I know this is a tiny image but I'd like to add some captions. Ever make up captions for a picture? I'll give you some examples of why it's fun:

Val: "Look at my calf muscle biotch!"

Patti: "Hey Rikki, do you read Korean?"

Rikki: "Hey Patti, shut up and look cute, like I'm doing."

See? Fun for the whole family. Let's try another one.

Why don't I let you folks try some. I'll be watching for them in the comments section of this blog post. Enjoy.

See ya Monday,

Rod

Ikaika the cheater and clarifying comments to Kehau, Maui's Strongest Samoan Woman

2011-06-22T00:36:00.000-07:00

Here at Crossfit RFM if you hang out long enough you'll start to figure out who you should partner up with based upon similar strength/speed/conditioning etc. Like I would never partner up with Lori, Kehau or Derek. Those three are too much. I. No. Can. Handle.

But Kats and I are around the same level. Some things he does better than I do, and some I do better.

And now there's a new guy, Ikaika, who I THOUGHT might be at the same level as Kats and I. He's in the 200 pound weight class just like we are and he ACTS like one of us.

But he's not. He's a cheater.

Ikaika totally sandbags on weight. Today we did these heaving hang snatch balance things with the dumbell (no I will not explain what those are) and by all rights Kats, Ikaika and I were all supposed to use about 50 pound dumbells. Except those would really really REALLY suck.

Instead Ikaika grabs a 40 pound dumbell which Kats and I are still dubious about. So what do we do? We grab 40 pound dumbells too because we figure we're all at the same level.

Not.

So the workout is 5 snatches per arm, 10 pushups and a 200 meter run, AMRAP for 10 minutes. We start and Ikaika takes off. His 40 pound dumbell goes up and down effortlessly. Meanwhile Kats and I are struggling. My back starts to hurt and Ikaika runs off laughing after his pushups.

I try to chase after him but as you know by now, running is not my strong suit. Also my back is starting to tighten up and I Hate Cardio. (Just in case you missed the title of my blog.)

So Ikaika and Derek both finish six rounds which means he is part of the ELITE athletes that train at our gym. Bastard.

That's okay, Kats and I stand alone as the intermediate level guys at the gym. And Bob. Can't forget about Bob.

I'm sorry Ikaika but you are banned from working out with the intermediates. Go train with Derek and Luke, aka "Mr. Smooth." And go use those 50 pound weights like you were supposed to and leave the 40 pounders to me and Kats.

On another note, I said Kehau was an elitist because she wrote about things that I cannot relate to on her blog. I must clarify. Kehau is not an elitist. The other people who read her blog are. Crotch pot cooking and producing your own beef stock out of thin air are things that I cannot do and thus I feel unworthy to comment upon. Kehau is very much a regular person like the rest of us, except that she can push cars with her bare hands. I'm not kidding, check out this photo:

That's a damn Hyundai sedan people. One HYUNDAI. She pushed it 50 feet and the parking brake was on and there were four fat guys sitting inside. Other than that she's a normal chick though. Plus her blog rocks.

Okay, take care. I might have to go to a work thing tomorrow evening which will suck because I'll miss being humiliated at the gym. Ah well, duty calls.

Later,

Rod

Push it

2011-06-21T02:04:00.000-07:00

I hurt today, in a good way. In a way that I haven't hurt in a long time.

I actually pushed my body today and it felt good. Except for the part where I couldn't feel my hands.

Today started off brutally, with Kehau's warmups from the Underworld.

Inch worms and crab walks and bear crawls and a whole bunch of other crap that I really don't want to explain because it would involve more typing, which would anger my hands.

(Are you sensing this is going to be a short blog post? You soothsayer you.)

Anyway, you know the workout is going to be something special when the warm up about does you in.

Then we do weighted pullups and situps. I am sweating truckloads at this point.

Then it's time for the actual workout, 21, 15 and 9 reps of dumbell trusters and pullups. I go for the 35 lbs dumbells because Ikaika did the same earlier that day and because I'm stupid.

The first 21 thrusters are tiring but I stick with the pack. Then the pullups come and I try to crank out as many as I can before exhaustion. I think I do 10 before resting. Not only am I sweating but I'm out of breath.

I finish the 21 and hit the 15 thrusters which I knew at this point would be the worst set. The middle sets always are. You don't have the strength of the first set and you're too scared to go all out because the last set is coming up. I try but it's brutal.

I finally make it through and hit the pullups and head straight for the red rubber bands. This is an indication of how bad it is as I can't recall the last time I needed to do assisted pullups. It's still tough as hell but now it's time for thrusters again.

This time I manage to power through thanks to Derek who was yelling at me. Then I hit the pullups and I hear him say "forget the rubber bands." I have an out of body experience as the geek in me recalls Obi Wan telling Luke to "use the Force" and then Luke puts away his targeting gear. For some reason I listen to Derek and do not use the rubber band.

He says do 3 and I do 3. He lets me rest for what felt like a second and says do three more, and I do three more. He pushes and I do the last three then drop. It's over.

I'm out of breath but the worst part is my hands are shaking. My grip is totally destroyed. I can't hold on to my notebook to write my time and the thought of gripping my steering wheel to drive home is out of the question. I feel like I need air and so I lie down outside hoping to catch a breeze. Meanwhile I try to get some feelings back in my hands. It takes about 10 minutes.

Holy damn that was a good workout. Much mahalo to Brother D for helping me push, I seriously couldn't have done it without him.

Here's hoping I don't have to grip anything during tomorrow's workout, otherwise I'm screwed.

Later,

Rod

A Fight Gone Bad, the coach asks me for help and why I don't comment on Kehau's blog

2011-06-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

Today was a Saturday and while I don't usually don't do the Saturday workout today was a Fight Gone Bad.

FGB: the aftermath

Aptly named by BJ Penn it's a nonstop, five station workout. For three heats you pound through a minute each of wall balls, power cleans, push presses, double unders and box jumps with a minute rest in between.

I did this workout once in the beginning last year, when Lahaina Crossfit was visiting and participated in our workout too. My total rep count was 166, a low number but while everyone was cranking out 20, 30, 40 or more double unders for each set I cranked out five or six.

I'm working on it damn it. In fact 5 or 6 double unders is a new highlight for me. Yay.

Anyway, after the workout, Bumper comes up to me and says, "Rod, the girls are saying we're 0 and 3 for boys night out." Then gives me the look that says, "What are YOU going to do about this?"

What? Really? Do we really want to go there Bump? You're going to make me in charge of this? The newly divorced guy with 12 years of prior debauchery and hedonism under his belt from his days of living on Oahu?

Anyway I gave him the same look he gives me when I try to jump from 135 to 225 on push-press. It's the look that says, "are you sure about this?"

Okay okay okay, I'm kidding. Mostly. I'm 38 now and I like to drink during the day and sleep at night. I have a few ideas:

- On July 4th we used to do this thing called the "Floatilla" where we anchor boats off of Waikiki and drank and surfed all day. Maybe we can recreate the event on Maui. Anyone got a boat?
- We paddleboard in Kihei during the day then go out that same night in the area one Saturday. As I am from Paia I would want to stay in Kihei and not drive. I might be able to get a comp room at the Maui Coast for all of us. Two beds and a fold out couch should be enough.
- Twilight golf at the Dunes and everyone brings their own liquor to the course. Some sort of drinking game ensues. First one who drives their golf cart into the water loses.
- Can we say Vegas? No? Oahu maybe? Hana? I once set up an excursion where we rented a van and drove to Seven Sacred Pools and camped there, all the while jumping off of every waterfall from Haiku to Hana ending with a jump off of "the bridge" near the Pools. Those were the days of my youth and my body aches at the thought of doing that again but I am willing if we have enough recruits.

Anyway I'm sure we can think of something. Vegas, what? I must be hearing things, sorry.

And finally tonight, I'm responding to a critique from Kehau about not commenting on her blog posts, which are smartly written and entertaining.

However, I must be able to relate to the subject matter. For example, crockpot cooking.

Really? And the following discussion about making your own beef stock. Again, really?

I'm beginning to sense that Kehau's blog is geared more towards the female Crossfitter/foodie/skanker. This blog is geared more towards us less talented types, who aren't good at everything that they do.

And with that, I say aloha and let's do that boy's night out real soon.

Lataz,

Rod

Found my Lululemon shorts

2011-06-16T23:51:00.000-07:00

It's been driving me nuts. I paid $60 for those shorts! (Long story short: I followed a cute gal into the Paia store and had to buy something so it didn't look like I was stalking her.)

But this was back Janurary. I wore them once then I lost them. Instead I went and got some cheapo replacements from Footlocker, which cost $9.99.

They're both black, have the built in spandex and are made of some tough, stretchy sort of nylon material. So why the price difference? Well, my consumer reporting skills are somewhat lacking but I will try to explain. Mainly I found two, count them two important differences:

- Lululemon shorts have pockets. The Footlocker version doesn't.
- Your ass sweat seeps through and shows in the Footlocker version. Lululemon keeps it all inside.

Yup. I'm not sure what the hell they make the Lululemon shorts out of but if you don't want your ass sweat to show, these are the shorts for you. That's what $60 buys you and damn it, it's worth it.

And in case you were wondering my Lululemon shorts were hidden underneath a pair of khaki shorts that I don't wear anymore.

Also I have to bust a couple of my female gym partners. It might have been sometime last week when we had to do overhead squats I believe. They were watching Luke do the workout and one of them says, and I kid you not, "I love watching Luke workout, he's so smooth."

Okay, so if you don't know Luke this might seem a bit weird or pervy. But Luke's body mechanics are such that he does perfect technique on almost everything. Unlike myself. Usually I make up my own technique which leaves Bumper shaking his head. Think caveman powerlifting and you get the idea.

This would be the opposite of Luke. If you haven't seen Luke's muscle-ups you haven't hated yourself lately. It's so perfect you feel like either kicking his ass or kissing his hand, so I sort of understand what these gals, who will go unnamed, were admiring.

THEN AGAIN . . . they were probably looking at his butt go up and down too and loving every second of it. One of our trainers Kristi has unreal stomps when she does any sort of snatch and grab movement. She stomps her feet hard on the gym floor and that weight goes up like nothin. I was stunned and watched her over and over again to try and copy what she was doing.

Of course, when it comes down to it I'm still a guy staring at a woman's legs. You sort of have to, just like these gals were watching Luke. So it's sort of like a free pass to stare under the pretense of studying biomechanics.

Out loud you say: "Damn, that's good technique."

Inside you say: "My gym is awesome. I'm never going back to 24/Hour Fitness."

Hey, that's a freaking great idea for a commercial. Would have been better for TV than radio though. Ah well.

Also my son is here! He's living with daddy this summer and I couldn't be happier about it. Of course I took a couple days off from RFM but I should be back on Friday (tomorrow).

Betcha you're wondering who those two gals were that were staring at Luke huh? Not gonna tell ya. Gotta protect my sources.

Later,

Rod

Weak

2011-06-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

You know, when I first started this blog I didn't really have a direction. Just slap something up there and keep writing.

I've also been sort of the same way at the gym. Just go and workout. Do the Workout of the Day (WOD.) Get sweatin. Fall on the ground then go home.

But you know, that just isn't enough. Nuh-uh.

I've been seeing some performance problems lately. (No, not the Viagra kind.) Mostly involving leg strength.

Up until now I've had the attitude that my legs will get stronger eventually, but yesterday's workout was so pitiful that I may have to reevaluate that. I couldn't do one pistol squat. Not even one. Like just ONE.

And I'm always out of breath on my runs. And I'm just talking about the jog we go on before the warmup.

How sad is that? I've been doing Crossfit for months now. But I think I know the reason why.

The reason is I haven't been pushing it. I haven't tried to go beyond my capabilities. If you don't do that then you don't improve.

The only place I've been trying to do that is using my upper body strength when it comes to lifting heavy weights. Yes I've had some good gains but I don't want to just excel in that area.

Even Derek made a comment which was flattering and yet very telling at the same time.

He was watching me throw up some heavy weights during the push-press and said, "Man, I wish I had your upper body. Like from your chest up. But that's it."

It was one of those compliment/jokes which I thought was actually pretty funny but then got me thinking.

I gotta start working on my weaknesses. My legs. It's time. Time to push it. I want to be able to do pistol squats again like I did when I was younger. Freaking Kehau and Lori did a combined 200 reps yesterday.

Usually I would look at something like that and just make fun of myself for not being as strong as the girls, but really, I need to step it up. Time to stop hiding behind humor.

Not that the jokes will stop, but I need to step it up. We'll see what happens today if I can back up what I'm posting.

On another note, Kehau has a pretty cool fitness blog and she's writing about cool stuff, like learning how to swim. She has cool subject matter and I'm sort of jealous.

Looks like I gotta step up the game here too. Otherwise no one is going to want to buy a I hate Cardio tshirt.

Later,

Rod

Hey look, Kehau started her own fitness blog!!!

2011-06-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

www.changfit.wordpress.com
But don't click on it yet because she's doing a "soft lunch" first, which means "I'm too chicken to put this thing out in public."

So I'm helping her by getting it out there. Not that there's a danger of being overexposed on my own fitness website which six people read every other week but hey, it's a start.

Right on Kehau, you go for it. I enjoyed her learning to swim post and you will too. Go get 'em.

Rod

Crossfit RFM gets some Countywide exposure

2011-06-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

Stacia and I wrote a little article in the County employee newsletter that appears this month. Hopefully the 2000+ County employees who read it decide to check out the gym this summer. Enjoy folks:

******************************************

The following is a personal narrative from County employees

Stacia Ash and Rod Antone regarding their experiences at

Crossfit Raw Fitness Maui which is located at

800 Eha St.

Stacia: On March 10, as part of the County’s health and wellness

program, Kristi and Robert at Raw Fitness Maui offered

County employees a free Demo class at their Wailuku based

gym Crossfit RFM. I attended this free session with several

county employees including Holly, Rod Antone and Mike.

Rod: Just to let everyone know Robert “Bumper” Kikuchi is my

classmate (Maui High c/of 90!!!) and he talked me into checking

out his gym during our 20-year class reunion this summer. I did

and it changed my life, no joke.

Stacia: Rod’s about 6 months ahead of me training wise. For

me, my Cross-fit workout began with a brief overview of the

Cross-fit format. Next we did a warm-up and Robert gave us

some instruction and demonstrated some of the movements in

the workout of the day (WOD). Then we did a modified work-out

and got our heart rates up!! Finally we ended with a gentle cooldown

and stretch.

Rod: My first workout I warmed up with a 200-meter run then

did a quick sit-up, push-up and squat routine that made me

sweat right off the bat. Then I tried to do seven sets of seven

rep thrusters and burpees. I failed totally and think I got three

sets max before collapsing. Don’t worry, Bumper only saves that

for his classmates.

Stacia: For me, I found this style of working out to be fun,

exciting and motivating. Part of what made this so is that we

work out together, cheering each other on and subtly competing

against and pushing each other. I also enjoy the fact that you

never have to decide what you are going to do that day, it is

all decided ahead of time by the instructors and laid out on the

whiteboard for you to see and follow. The weekly workouts are

also posted on the web, so you can see in advance what you

will be doing so you can prepare mentally if need be!! (or avoid

a particularly intimidating day)

Rod: Stacia is right. Working out at Crossfit is like being at a

team practice. You warm up together, you work out together and

you compete against each other AND support each other at the

same time. Everybody has strengths and weaknesses and each

workout addresses each person’s own set of limitations.

Stacia: Also the emphasis at Crossfit at all times is to ensure all

participants are able to safely perform the exercises correctly

with proper technique and form. Because the focus is on quality

of instruction, technique, safety and effectiveness, they require

all new clients to attend a series of introductory “Elements”

sessions before being eligible to attend the open classes. The

Elements program is a series of 6 sessions (3x a week, Mon.,

Wed., Fri.) over a 2 week period. Now, normally the Elements

sessions cost $160, but they generously offered COM employees

to attend this for FREE!!!

Rod: The cost might worry some people but I would never pay

this for a regular gym. Crossfit RFM is more like having a personal

trainer, which would usually cost $60 an hour. Once you

try it you’ll understand why it’s worth it.

Stacia: Although I am adventurous I am also frugal so I was

worried about cost too. Still I decided to give it a try and I am

glad I did!! Not only did I love the work-out format, but I LOVE

the instructors (who are buff, beautiful and lovely people), I love

the other gung-ho participants who attend, and I LOVE the actual

work-outs. I am already a very active person. But this style

of working out is all new to me…..they have me doing really

interesting difficult things that I would not normally do!! For example,

I cannot do a full pull-up on bar, I can squeeze out about

one half of a pull-up…shameful I think. But at this gym, we use

assist bands and I find myself able to do almost 10 pull-ups!!! I

am so proud and I can’t wait to get stronger and move up to the

next band/level of difficulty! Plus we jump-rope and do so many

isometric exercises I never dreamed of.

Rod: They are buff and yes Kristi is very cute (Bumper not so

much) but looking great is secondary at Crossfit RFM. The main

thing is they want you to feel great. They want you to be able

to run up those stairs and not get tired or carry your kids and

chase them around the house and not be winded. Your body will

get physically fit as you train but the difference is you’ll have the

practical strength, speed and stamina to go along with it, unlike

a regular gym.

Stacia: I just finished my 6 Elements sessions and I am super

excited to begin working out with the group…I start tomorrow! I

highly encourage all county employees to give this format/gym

a try. They have free classes on Saturdays at 10 a.m. and it’s so

addicting!

For more information, visit www.rawfitnessmaui.com.

Coach Bumper slaps doctors around with his post, yeah boi

2011-05-31T23:59:00.000-07:00

So if you head on over to the RFM website you'll see that Bump posted a big "eff you" to the doctors that told him to slow down because he needed some minor surgery on his ankle. This is my favorite part:

"You see, every sprain, strain, and tweak to that ankle came about from doing something I enjoy. I was having fun. And I was staying fit. I like to run, jump, squat, clean and jerk, and snatch. I don't do well sitting still. And I’m not about to stop."

Right on man, good for you. I feel the same way about ... drinking. And gambling. And other things.

No but seriously I do likes me some Crossfit. Effed up back and all. Of course my back likes to switch around which RFM workouts it hates. Before it was front squats and power cleans, but now it's deadlifts and kettlebell swings. Go figure.

For instance, last week we were doing three rounds of running the 400, 12 deadlifts and 20 box jumps. Pain pain pain. I didn't even make it past the second round. I know we're supposed to be happy about living to fight another day but if you do it too often you're a freakin pansy. Or you feel like one at least.

Anyway, today was a bit better. We had to hold the L position on the rings for as long as we could and we had 5 tries to get our best time. I did :37 seconds on my second try. Wasn't too bad but everybody kept making fun of my "concentration face." Yeah yeah, go to hell. Did any of you do :37 seconds? And that was with my half of a pectoral trying to hold my right arm steady on the rings. That's right biyotches.

Then we had one of those "just freaking go as fast as you can" type of workouts. Ten rounds, count 'em ten of 5 burpees and 10 situps. Of course the abs are burning from holding those L sits but that was the point I guess.

So we started the timer and we were off. I was keeping an eye on Kehau and kept up with her for the first two rounds but then started wheezing during the third round. Damn. Sometimes the childhood asthma comes back at the weirdest times.

I kept going and lost count a couple of times but in the end I finished it before 10 minutes. I think I would have gotten a faster time had I not lost count because I think I did one round twice. I hate burpees but I can rip through those situps pretty fast. I've got abs under the flab, for real. You just can't see it because I'm a fat 200 pound man. Otherwise I'm in great shape.

Oh yeah, I should probably mention that Kehau is supposed to have a fitness blog of her own, but it's supposed to be a "soft opening." What the heck girl, you write for a LIVING. Just post the damn thing already, geez. I want to post comments already.

And on that note, (Like the segway? You've gotta have a way to transition.) I've had some people at the gym tell me they can't post comments on the blog anymore. Which sucks because reading comments after I write this damn thing is the best part about keeping a blog. Let me know if it's still a problem gang.

What I mean is tell me about it at the gym of course, since you can't leave a comment for me.

Until next time,

Rod

Trying to beat the clock

2011-05-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

So while front squats aren't my favorite weight lifting movement I actually have an easier time with it than I used to.

My wrists are still inflexible so it hurts when I have to bend them backwards but the weight feels better on my legs than it does during back squat.

Still a bitch though. Today for strength I did 8 reps of 185. Good enough right?

Then for the real workout we did as many rounds as we could for 10 minutes that included a 200 meter run, 20 situps and 20 walking lunges.

Not bad. I actually looked at that and didn't wince today.

So we all line up for the first 200. Heidi the long legged sprints forward while the rest of us follow. I'm last.

We hit the situps and I start ripping them as fast as I can. I think I might actually have some abs under my flab if I could lose some weight because my abs don't get tired as quickly as they used to. Damn those martinis. And porter beers. And Jack and Cokes. Oh well.

I get done first then hit the walking lunges. I finish those and I'm off and jogging. Jun finishes and catches up with me. In fact for the rest of the workout Jun and I are about neck and neck.

He finally slows down a bit during the fourth round of situps though and I race past him. Then the lunges and I'm out the door once again, this time sprinting a little faster because I see the 10 minutes we have is almost gone.

I hit the halfway mark and turn around and I hear everyone yelling, "30 seconds Rod!!!!" Ah crap.

I try to turn on the afterburners, although in my case it's more like trying to start an old weed eater. Either the motor catches and you start workin or you don't.

To my surprise the engine turns over. A little bit. But by then everyone is yelling, "10 SECONDS ROD!!!" Wait, what the hell happened to the 20 second warning? Crap.

I pump a little faster and worry that I'm not going to be able to stop and crash into the crowd. I figure if they're standing there they know the hazards and I push. The countdown gets down to the "3, 2, 1 . . ." and I step in front of the gym where I started. People cheer and get the hell out of my way as I stumble past. One of the new guys catches me and helps me stop.

"Ho brah you one animal," he says. I try to say thanks but you need air to talk and I have none in my lungs.

I lie down and try to breathe again. Meanwhlie I'm thinking, "Four rounds and one run. I can live with that."

On another note, I've also been thinking about a serious draft for the RFM radio script. Tell me what you think:

Male Voice: AT RAW FITNESS MAUI WE KNOW THERE'S MORE TO WORKING OUT THAN JUST LOOKING GOOD.

Male Voice: YOU HAVE TO TRAIN FOR STRENGTH
Female Voice: ENDURANCE
Male Voice: SPEED
FV: AGILITY
MV: COORDINATION
FV: POWER

(Anyway you list all 10 reasons why you train and say it fast, so that the words run over each other.)

Male Voice: IF YOUR GYM ISN'T HELPING YOU TO ACHIEVE AT LEAST ONE OF THESE GOALS THEN YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF, WHY ARE YOU THERE?

FV: COME CHECK OUT RAW FITNESS MAUI, WHERE YOUR FITNESS IS OUR PASSION. THAT'S RAW FITNESS MAUI LOCATED ON EHA STREET BEHIND SACK N SAVE. OR CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE AT http://www.rawfitnessmaui.com/

Something like that. Gotta iron it out but I think it'll work. What do you think?

Rod

The Filthy 50 and RFM radio

2011-05-19T01:28:00.000-07:00

So, here's a couple of updates.

I think I can handle front squats now.

We were doing them the other day and of course my wrists hurt like a mutha. But then Bumper showed me how I needed to shove that bar so close to my neck that I was almost choking and damn, if that wasn't like 100 times better.

I ended up doing 205 lbs for one rep. Considering my back squat is about 265 lbs for my one rep max I think that's pretty good.

Oh, but then today I regretted going heavy on the front squats. For today was the Filthy 50.

Not sure I can remember it all but it went something like this: 50 box jumps, 50 jumping pullups, 50 lungs, 50 knees to elbows, 50 of this 50 of that and on and on.

The end result was several times during the workout I laid down and wanted to stop moving. But then the clock kept ticking and you get up and keep trying.

Oh man. I'm beat. I need 2 days of rest I think. Maybe I'll go back to the gym on Saturday instead of Friday.

But before I go I leave you with my latest radio script for the RFM ad that will be played on Wild 105.5 FM.

The station manager is a friend (and employee of mine at the County) and is giving Bumper and Kristi some radio commercials in exchange for a membership. I wrote a mockup of what I think the first commercial should be, here it is starring Kristi and Kehau, aka Tehau:

KRISTI: "Hi I'm Kristi and I'd like to invite you to a free workout at Maui's premiere Crossfit gym, Raw Fitness Maui!"

KRISTI: "We just moved into our new location in the Wailuku industrial area and have more room than ever before for new members, so come on down!"

KRISTI: "Our trainers include myself, Robert Bumper Kikuchi and Tehau, Maui's strongest woman! Say hi Tehau!"

TEHAU: "CHEEEEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

KRISTI: "That's right, come down and sign up today and Tehau will push your car into the parking lot for free, no sweat!"

KRISTI: "That's Raw Fitness Maui, right next to Sack and Save and a shitload of Korean Bars. See you there! Aurite."

I know, I'm a genius. Thankyewverymuch.

Rod

New gym, hard workout, more pain

2011-05-17T01:09:00.000-07:00

We finally had a workout at the new gym which is located next to Sack and Save, a $hitload of Korean bars and an adult video store. All of us especially noticed the adult video store because it's the landmark of where we have to turn around during our 400 meter run.

Some other highlights: besides being bigger and having a shower, our new gym also has some cool breezes blowing on a regular basis. Not sure why it's so much cooler than the Mill Street location but it is.

Inside the gym though, it's the same. All business. And some personal horror.

Today we start off with shoulder presses. Today I threw on 185. Yeah. I cranked out one then I was done. Like nothing left at all for a second one. I think I overdid it. My upper back feels kinda stiff and my neck hurts when I look down.

But I keep eyeing out Bumper's record of 195 for shoulder presses and I see the gold medal. Of course when I told him that today he had that glint in his eye that said "I'll just lift 200." Yup. It's that kind of gym.

Afterwards I looked at the board and saw the following: 3 rounds of 5 pullups, 10 pushups, 15 squats and a 400 meter run. Hmmm, not too bad.

But then Bumper explained it. It's three rounds of three rounds. So nine rounds total.

Sigh.

So we began. There wasn't enough room for everyone to do pullups at once so I did the workout in reverse. Squats first, pushups then pullups. Everybody cranked out the first round pretty quick then ran. Coming back from the first 400 I remember thinking, "this sucks."

By the end of the second 400 I thought, "I hate this new gym."

By the end of the third 400 I had no thoughts. My mind was wiped clean with exhaustion.

Geez, is it only Monday? I wonder what day 2 a tthe new gym will be like.

I actually do not want to know, but I'll be there. Mostly so I can feel good about drinking on the weekend.

And if the first workout is any indication, I will feel very good about drinking a lot this weekend.

Peace.

Rod

2011-05-13T20:43:00.000-07:00

I have to work late but I just wanted to say goodbye to the old gym on Mill Street. And see the whole RFM crew down at the new gym near Sack and Save. Aurite.

Paleo meal of the week: humble pie

2011-04-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

Sooooo, Friday was a humbling experience in many ways.

First off, Bumper says the radiologist thinks my xrays are normal, which means I'm back to square one with my back.

Secondly, I don't do well in a workout that I should have excelled in. Hell, I don't even finish the whole thing.

Third, I lose in a footrace to Kehau, seen above. Mostly because I am slow and still fat but also because she is faster. A little anyway.

Once again, let's start from the beginning. Well, from the workout part anyway. I'm like whatever about the xrays already.

So yesterday's workout was deadlifts and handstand pushups. I rock at those.

Except it was sets of 21-15-9 reps. Of 225 pounds for deadlifts.

Hmmmm . . . could be a problem.

Not to mention we did deadlifts for strength. I kinda wasted myself too going a little heavier than I should have.

Anyway, I grind out the first 21 reps and it's hard. Then I get upsidedown for the handstands and my shoulders and back are already tired.

This is a new sensation for me. Ask anyone at RFM. I pump out those handstand PU's like there's no tomorrow.

Except for yesterday. Brah. My shoulders were cabbage and my back was sore from the deadlifts.

So I try to go back to do the 15 reps for deadlifts and I just can't. I end up skipping those and just doing the remaining sets of HSPU's just so I can respect myself in the morning.

Sigh. HSPU's were my redemption workout. When all else fails I still could be proud of those.

What do I have now?

(Please pause for a moment for a pity party).

Okay, that's done with. Moving on.

I should mention before this that before the WOD Kehau and I had a little race.

Yeaaaaaaahhhh, I kinda threw down the challenge and she said let's do it.

Faaaackkkk....

So we went across the street to the Hongwanji parking lot and did the whole thing. On your mark, get set, go.

I was running close to her but she was ahead of me the whole time. In the end I pulled back but it wasn't like I was going to overtake her. I just didn't want my ass in the street and getting hit by a car.

Good one Kehau. Guess I wrote a check my legs couldn't cash.

Some of you may ask why I decided to challenge one of the coaches, who have been training for much longer and are all in much better shape than I. (They are the coaches after all.)

Well, I can't help it. I'm the guy that talks for effect. I like going all in with nothing in my hand, just to see the other guy flinch.

One of my horoscopes once said, "You think you can get away with anything, even if there's no chance in hell."

Yes, that's me. But you know, it's a good match for Crossfit. Finally I have a chance to put a little action behind my words.

Texas hold'em anyone?

Later,

Rod

Answers

2011-04-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

So this week has been interesting. Some tough workouts accompanied by an interesting revalation.

There IS something wrong with my back.

First thing's first though, I've learned the maestro of mayhem for the workouts this week was none other than our very own Kehau, or Tehau as her tribe on the island of Samonga calls her.

Lots oh pain this week. Angry pain. The kind that makes you say, "Who the hell came up with that workout?"

Thanks Tehau. Let's look at the list for the week shall we?

Monday: Back squat supersetted with good mornings. I lift with the two young guys Pat and Rory and they force me to go heavy. Bastards. Then comes the fun part: four rounds of 200 meter sprints, 3 squat cleans, 5 push presses and AMRAP sit-ups. My joy knows no bounds.
Tuesday: Turkish get-ups. I'm not explaining this one except to say 20 of them is too much. They don't even do these in Turkey anymore. Then Helen, which is 3 rounds of a 400 meter run, 21 kettlebells and 12 pullups. The kb swings killed my back AGAIN and so I stopped during the second round.
Wednesday: Started off w/ some bench and supine rows (which I like actually) then TWELVE freaking rounds of 6 "dynamic" pushups (which prove Tehau is Samongan because you have to slap your chest on your way up), 6 V ups and 6 jumping squats. All of this has to be done in a minute. The sooner you finish the sooner you rest.

Can I point out how evil this is? If you fall behind you're screwed because you will never get to rest. She even used all 6's so this is the 6-6-6 workout. Go to church woman.

Finally today we have 21-15-9 reps of deadlifts and handstand pushups. I may actually enjoy this one, we'll see.

Oh yes, now that news about my back.

I went to the physical therapist on Thursday, you all know which one. Anyway I got some xrays and I've got one of my lumbar vertebraes sticking out past the others ever so slightly. It might be the reason my back gets stiff during certain workouts. Or maybe not. But I'm leaning towards yeah, that's the sucker that hurts me.

Answers are good. Just like how I know who to blame for this week's hell.

I'll fix you both soon, yes, very soon.

Happy Good Friday gang, see you at the gym.

Rod

The pain is coming

2011-04-18T23:05:00.000-07:00

I can see it.

Like when you see the tide pull back too far out and you know there's a huge wave coming.

Yup. I'm gonna be hurting tomorrow.

We did squats today, sorta heavy. Then another one of Bumper's mad doctor workouts.

Run 200 meters then come back and squat clean three times, then do five push presses then AMRAP of sit ups, all within 2:30.

Afterwards I looked at Kats and said, "I think I've got a headache from this workout."

I've felt tired, I've felt sore and I've felt regret after certain Crossfit workouts, but this is the first time I've felt ill.

Then again I figure it's like those guys at the gym that squat till they puke. Today was like that except puking was not the final goal.

Oh man I'm feeling my quads twitch as I write this. Geez.

Think I'm gonna lie down now.

I finally go to Kaiser, two WOD's in one day and Bistro Manila

2011-04-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Hey, so I finally went to see a doctor about my back this week.

I told him about how my back hurts when I perform certain movements and guess what he said?

"Well if it hurts just don't do those movements anymore."

Right on doc, that was SOOOOOOOOOOOO helpful.

You da best braddah.

Jesus.

Anyway, the doc sees I'm less than thrilled with his diagnosis so he says, "Well you can always get a second opinion, would you like to see one of our physical therapists?"

Why yes doc, seeing as how you look like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz and don't know what it's like to perform a physical action I would like to talk to someone who knows something about body mechanics.

I'll come back to see you when I'm 88 and need some Viagra then you can tell me, "Well just don't do those movements anymore."

Maybe then I'll listen to you. Then again maybe not.

Okay, so I get to go see Mr. Robert "Bumper" Kikuchi on Thursday (I think). Fix me up coach.

Nuff said on that subject.

On a related note, do not drink alcohol after giving two vials of blood. I did that Thursday and paid for it Friday. That and the tetanus shot didn't help either. I had two martinis and a stout which should NOT have affected me but it wiped me out. The next day was a disaster and I had to stay home and recover.

No it wasn't a hangover. Hangovers don't give you a fever.

So no, I did not enjoy my visit to Kaiser. On the bright side I've learned that the snack shop at the clinic has a killer lau lau plate.

Okay, so on to the workout part of this blog, which is why we're all here right? Well I didn't workout Friday and went in today (Saturday). Big crowd, lot of people there for the workout which was 60 bar facing burpees, 30 overhead squats and 10 muscleups.

Yes I said 60 burpees. Painful. But I was more afraid of the overhead squats.

The last time I did these my back felt like crap. Kehau said it best today. "Overhead squats reveal all your weaknesses."

You have to have the lower body strength to do the squats of course, but also the balance and upper body strength to hold it above your head. If you're missing any of that you're screwed.

I'm missing two out of the three so I had to play it smart. No big weight (the big boys were doing 120 lbs) so I figured I should do about half that.

Good thing too. The 60 burpees weakened my legs and I managed to squeak out 15 overhead squats before taking off the weight and just doing the bar. Then since I don't have muscle ups yet I did deadhang pullups but only managed 8 before the 10 minute clock ran out.

Not bad. I'm well aware of my limitations by now and know how to push myself without breaking myself. There's no way I could have squatted more weight. I do need to work on those muscle ups though.

And afterwards I even stayed to do the strength portion of Friday's workout. Deload week so I did light to medium weight for shoulder presses and deadlifts.

AND THEN I got everyone to go check out Bistro Manila because it was hot as hell and the halo halo there is so cold and nice.

Oh yes, that was good stuff.

And to the doc at Kaiser, there's no reason why I shouldn't have a sore back while doing overhead squats. Trembling legs, shoulders and arms yes, but not my back. And the reason why I want to be able to do the squats is because I can.

It's reason enough for me, so should be reason enough for you too.

Adios gang.

Rod

Not as bad as it looks

2011-04-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

So I've missed several key workouts this week and last and they all just happen to involve lower body workouts.

What a coinkydink yeah? No seriously I would have been there but for work.

I usually get off at 4:30 but there's always the chance of a late meeting, which is part of my job. And I like my job, really.

But I like working out too.

Anyway I did make it to Wednesday's workout which was my sorta workout. Bench for strength (deload week) then Pendlay Rows (I used to call them bent over rows back in the 24/hour Fitness days) superset with pushups. Ten rows and 20 pushups for 4 rounds to be exact.

Now see, I've done this with Bumper before, like two months ago. The rows are just a distraction and it doesn't really matter how much weight you put on there. It's the pushups that kill you.

Sure enough, I slap on the 45's on each side of the barbell and they go up and down like nothing. The pushups on the other hand, well, let's just say I rocked the first two sets, started lagging on the third and had almost nothing in the gas tank for the fourth set.

Seriously, I was down to doing one pushup then resting, then doing one more. The new kid Pat powered through the pushups like nothing. Nice job.

Later on I watched the D man, Derek, hit the workout. He struggled but never gave up. He's got the gimp shoulder which limits his upper body stuff which I can totally relate to because of my back and weak legs. I want to push harder at my lower body but am limited by my, well, physical limitations. So is Derek.

I watched him afterwards when he finished, the last to do so, then look kinda discouraged as everyone high fived him and said, "Good job!" and "Right on D!" He was all, "Yeah thanks."

I know that look, it was the "I EFFIN SUCK" look along with the "I'M SO TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT INJURY SLOWING ME DOWN" feeling.

He even said to me earlier that day that he was "tired of playing that card" when it comes to his shoulder and not being able to perform as well as he should during upper body days.

That's how I feel during lower body days m'man. My back tightens up like a winch and I'm freakin feel like I'm partially paralyzed.

I feel you brother. Believe me.

On that note I'm making another appointment at Kaiser. Right now. Please God do not send another tsunami to cancel my appointment.

Late.

Victory

2011-03-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

Kind of.

I'll start from the beginning.

Today for strength we benched. Ended up doing 235 four times. Yessir. Getting stronger.

Oh and we superset that with chin-ups. Like old school. No Kipping and we turned our grip around so it was all bicep. Different.

Then for conditioning we did the following: run 200 meters, 10 ring dips and then as many burpees as possible before the two minute time limit is up.

For four rounds. I know what you're thinking. Why do the burpees at all?

Well, that's because that's how we keep score at RFM. It's called "pain."

So we start. And I pace myself. I'm last as I come in for the first 200.

The ring dips suck, and then I crank out about 8 burpees.

But I'm not tired or winded. We rest for a minute and run again. Same thing. I pace myself.

Same for the third round. But I look around and see that Garth is on the ground hunched over and Bumper is asking him if he's going to lose his lunch.

He was cranking out the burpees I guess. I was going another route.

We line up for the last 200 and Bumper says "go." I blast off. I'm talking about sprinting at full speed.

I'm going so fast I have to grab the gate to guide me as I run out of the parking lot. It was about there that I notice that might knees are pumping so high they're almost to my chin.

Thank God Derek wasn't there because I wouldn't have been able to beat him. But he wasn't and when I hit the fire hydrant and turned around everyone was still behind me.

I got back and tried to make the most of it. I jumped up and tried to crank out the ring dips but I could only do one or two at a time. Everyone started catching up. When I finally got done I only had time to do 8 burpees.

So yeah, not my greatest performance but it was fun blowing past everyone on the sprint. And now Kehau wants to race me because she said she can beat me at short distance. Yeahhhhhhhh maybe if we do a 50 air squats first. Or four sets of 10 front squats or box jumps.

But a nice sprint with no other foolishness attached to it? Not happening. If my back isn't blown out I can run against anybody. (Short distance of course)

Like I've said many times during this blog, I'm taking my victories where I can.

Rest day tomorrow, see ya Friday gang.

Rod

Lifted 4000 pounds today

2011-03-30T00:48:00.000-07:00

Yessir, I've reached Hulklike strength levels at last.

Not really, but I did move 4000 pounds. I had to throw up 135 pounds 30 times to do it but I got it done.

And it wasn't that hard actually. Ha.

Bumper was making fun of my technique too. Called it some sort of "reverse curl, split foot jerk" or something like that.

Whatever, it worked. I almost came in first but Troy went 20 pounds lighter and beat me by about 30 seconds (I think).

Ah well. But I DID beat Kehau's time. And Lori's. HAH.

Take that.

Wimpy girls.

Of course the other day was much tougher and I did not beat either of them.

As many rounds as possible of five pullups, 10 boxjumps and 15 kettlebells in ten minutes.

I think I did five rounds using the 53 pound kettlebell. Tough on my back but that's because there was something wrong with my shorts.

Yeah, you heard me. My shorts were kinda tight and short and I couldn't really do that thing where you swing the kettleball between your legs because there was no give.

This is hard to explain, except that I'm not using those shorts again. Just take my word for it, tight shorts are not good for swinging the kettleball.

Anyway I ripped through the five pullups, did the 10 boxjumps without too many problems but the kettlebell swings killed me.

Just another day at RFM. But I'm not looking forward to tomorrow's workout.

Oh yeah and I might start Paleo again for April. Maybe. I need some motivation damn it.

Rod